I fear oblivion
the unknown waters
that inevitably we all will drown in
It's pointless, **** near pathetic
to believe in forever
although even myself has fallen victim to the promise
That selfish hope that I might not cease to exist
that along with forgotten I will fade with nothing to show for myself
I will only become the nourishment for new life as mine becomes a lost memory among the rest

Oh this demon was in disguise
She was made of all these lies
And I thought she was sweet
Then on our first meet
I realized she was planning her demise
Yeah she sidled up and laced up her words
And sweetly poisened me with her standards
And I knew that I would never meet them
I could barley begin to brush the hem
It was then I had to approach her
But she was supposed to be my best friend
Until I finally realized that this might be the end

They broke her down,
Her tears stained her face,
She cried for them and cried from her hurt,
She wished that they could change,
She wished she was made of the strongest steel
But she wasn't, and they wouldn't
So she picked her self up from the dirt,
Put ice in her heart, and never let anyone near it
On the days went, until the young man she met,
Slowly melted the ice, and in return filled it with warmth, he'd been her first kindness, he was her first love

You leave me with a beating heart
I'm no longer fallen apart
I've been put back together
I feel weightless like a feather
I no longer want to waste away
I'm still happy today
So I give my thanks to you
For doing what you do

BOOM**
The sound of my heart erupting
And pooling around my feet
CRACK
The sound of my heart breaking
And me dying a little more
Am I a monster?

Are there monsters under the bed?
Is this the terror they shed?
Will they rip out your heart?
Tear you apart?
Or eat your flesh instead?

Are there monsters under the bed?
Is this a trap that you've been lead?  
Will they make you scream?
Or is this a dream?
Or simply crack open your head?

Are there monsters under the bed?
Or is it just us eating away
Could it be our monsters are us?
At the end of each day?

Days going by slowly,
Passing by the seconds as the clock ticks lonely
Sitting here at this empty table
Watching the clock
The broken hearts
And failed apologies
In the middle
Chairs in disarray
Angry words left behind
The only kind words are mine
Trying to reconnect a broken family
One that used to be so strong
Now there's only accusations and wrong
Like a war battling in my living room
The damage left cant be swept up by my broom
And I just sit here and watch the clock
As time goes by
We sit here screaming wasting our time
And I'm just praying that we're going to be fine
But that wish is only mine

Deep violet red rose
                         Breath your
                                 life into my being ....

The shackles were like hands cold as black ice
Holding me in its steel prisoning grip
For I had been cast away more than twice
The floors were icy in hell I would slip
My story began with the seed of lust
The feeling, the rush was none to be known
For I craved the feeling, have it I must
The path would crumble it was made of stone
And I danced so hard it began to chip
It was dark there without the lights to shine
The angles they found me, my wings they clip
Because of a girl that was never mine
I sat in hells cell and there I would rot
I never regretted the lesson taught

The nights air danced on my skin,
I waited for him,
A smile on my face and my heart in its place,
I waited for him,
A knot in my belly, and a glisten in my eyes,
I waited for him,
Teeth on my bottom lip and perched in my chair,
I waited for him,
And when a car pulled up and he wasn't there,
I could feel my heart stop,
The man took off his hat and bowed his head,
And I knew it then,  my father was dead

A rose fires the moons
Smile, caressing the earths heart

Quiet and dark the room was empty
Waiting quietly for sleep to take me
I was falling when my ears heard it
A voice so quite
It has to be my mind
Because when I looked no face was to find
The absence of sleep must be playing tricks
Because I closed my eyes again and I heard it quick
My heart sputtered to a pound
As I listened for a sound
Closer it came only when my eyes were closed
The owner must not want me to know
I bit my lip and shook with fear
I couldn't stop the soft flow of tears
I rather be alone
But the whispers here would roam
They spoke so quite I couldn't define
I wondered if it was my mind
But I was silent and the whispers grew louder
But never did they shout, never
I'm praying for sleep
But the voices they never sleep
They never rest
It was an evil test
To keep from pulling at my hair
But I heard them, heard them there
I wanted to scream
But nobody could know of the whispers
They'd never understand

He was a demon
But I was drawn
He was evil
But I still watched him
He moved with grace
And his eyes were green
He was mysterious
So pristine
I could see his soul
masked in shadows
But it never stopped me
No room for shame
No room for tame
A lion crazed
Can't help myself
My fingers yearn to touch
No room to think
No room for room
I was closed in
I was scared
But it never stopped me
From claiming his heart as my own
Deep in the abyss of his soul
Was a light
Pain and fear had made him
So chained
So pained
I unbound him from his fate
Loved where there was hate
No room for shame
When you claim
His heart

All these ideas swarming my head,
but my pen is playing dead

Beat to beat
Voices yelling all around
Stomping stomping feet
Shaking, quaking, breaking the ground
Jabs, and blows thrown in every way
Blood stained the marble floors
I really didn't want to stay
But broken bodies blocked they way
Trapped in here I rest my head
As voices scream and skin is broke
People falling dead
I begin to choke
Raging wars at the scene of the crime
Breaking bones, and stopping time
Overwhelmed I want to run
But I'm forced to stay to see what's done

Death was a promise just out of my grip
A rhythmic beating in my heart,
it was an unanswered prayer, and I was ready to slip
Hanging from the pieces of me, ripped apart


I’m desperately trying to prove myself to you
Trying to show you that I’m worth it
But no matter how hard I try or what I do
...you just don’t give a ****

I’m fighting against these words you say in haste
That I’m nothing, just built of wrongs
I keep feeling as if I am a waste of space
because I've been thrown away like trash for so long

The night has become my haven,
A place I can rest in peace
But morning just comes much too soon
And in my anguish I am already deceased


I’m not good enough for a father that beats his own
And I guess i’m no good for you too
I am nothing, I am just all alone
no matter what I do

The graveyard calls me to come where I am known
To sleep among the dead
How death would be my only home
It echoes in my head

Why can’t you love me

Trapped inside
I burry the pain
Alone I hide
To disguise my shame

Burry me beneath the Willow tree
Hold your tears, do not cry for me
Cast my soul along the river
Bite your lip, do not quiver

Don't bring me flowers to show your love
I will always see from high above
Don't cry for me, many a night
For when you're blind I'll be your sight

Trapped inside
I burry the pain
Alone I hide
To disguise my shame

I see him in the hall
And my heart speeds up
I don't know what to say
But I want to get to know him
He looks at me and smiles
And I get feelings I haven't felt for a while
I smile back then look I away
Can't let him know he made my day
But then my friend beside me
Tells me that she's gonna ask him out
My heart stops then shatters to the floor
I just nod and smile
Even though she knows my feelings for him
When she leaves my side
I let the tears  soak my eyes
Just one more ruined day