I feel like I lost myself.
Somewhere in the middle of trying to please everyone around me.
I forgot about me, and I twisted myself into the shape of a noose that I now feel closing tighter around my neck.
Squeezing until my throat pushes back for space, frantically looking around for someone to help me breathe again.

I feel like I gave up.
Somewhere in the middle of trying so hard, my integrity diminished.
Until I was no longer capable of believing I could achieve anything.
Plans would fall through, and I wouldn't stop it.

I feel like I replaced love with company. Somewhere in the middle of trying to belong.
I gave up my needs, and only focused on the fact that I wasn't absolutely alone.
Yet this whole time I'm searching inside myself, and I just feel void.
I'm lacking. Lacking so much.
And I have no one but myself to blame, and maybe just a little can be taken by the fact that this world is not fair.

I am a just person.
I hate to fight.
I hate to see anyone upset.
But I am just a person.
I don't know how long I can keep up this fight.
I just want to close my eyes and be done.

Are you acquainted with this feeling?
Of being so small
With trembling little hands
You wish you were tall

Tall enough to see the world
Large enough to be seen
Or are you stuck in this lonely plane
Where faces look so mean

Every word can crush you
Every look can drive you mad
You're stuck inside this circle
Of constantly feeling sad

Your tears no longer suit you
You try to fix your face
Do your thoughts attack you
As you try to find your place?

Are you running out of breath
Are you running out of space
Can you feel the blood pumping
As your heart picks up the pace

Will it always feel this daunting
Will we always be so alone
Insecurities are so haunting
I just want to go back home

Do you think this life is for me
Could it be my time to leave
Will I wander so far away
That I dissapear into the trees

Could it be that I am diagnosed
With Lonely Heart disease
So even if you hold me close
I run back to the trees

It seems it is my only home
The only place of peace
Please take me back inside
The safety of your leaves.

Infinite skies
Could not hold the lies
Which spill from your tongue
Like Honeywise
Delectable

I am not wise
I believe your lies
I am intertwined
In your demise
Detectable

Subtle breeze
Blowing trees
As we lay here
Eyes turned up

Broken hearts
Fall apart
As we lay here
Hands locked together

Energy electrifies
Breathing intensifies
As we lay here
Lips trace each other

Needing you
Needing me
As we lay here
One together

Moving bodies
Shattered hobbies
As we are here
Forever

Torment me
Torment you
As we lay here
No longer one

All alone
Next to me
You disappear
With the breeze
Into the trees

Shadow friends dance at the edge of my vision
Somehow I convince myself that I'm with them
We smile and laugh but I'm still empty
Somehow I'm lonely when you're here with me

My rainbows fade into cloudy grey
I'm begging my shadow friends to stay
But night will fall and take you from me
And I will remeber that I am lonely

I'll walk in the dark, where I cannot see
And think up thoughts which swallow me
I'll bend until I break, like I'm made of glass
Good things placed in my hands do not last

My shadow friends are gone, and I'm all alone
My life is built up in this shadow home
Where I let tears fall, and I wallow in my pain
How I wonder what it feels like to be sane

In the leaves of Autumn
I fall into reds and orange
Existing in moments passing by
And crouching at winters feet
I sway with the breeze
Until it rips away the last of me
And I lay in reds and orange
Of Autumn leaves
Left scattered at the feet of trees
Winter will dismember me
And summer won't remeber me
For I will decay, life is fleet
At the feet of trees
I once was leaves
But Autumns trees
Sway in the breeze
It pulls those leaves
To lay in dirt decay
At the feet of Autumn trees

I've been wandering alone
Inside my mind for a long time
Stuck in a loop
I jump through hoops
I set up my own demise
Through self built disguise
I hide

Longing for breakthrough
My eyes stare from below the surface
Fingertips pressed against the water
I haven't escaped
Yet

I watch birds fly
Through wide eyes
Floating in place
I am this space
For now