I never thought it would come here
maybe because I never wanted to come to realize
I always told myself
don't get attached it won't work out
but the whole
"I love you baby"
******* seemed to weigh me under
they saw were all addicted to something
u were my something
frankly I think u will be my something for a while
u left
fast
like it didn't phase u
not one bit
so now I sit
I try EVERYSINGLE night to tell myself
"your better than any boy"
and my friends say the same
but I know that's not true
I like to say it doesn't make me cry
but I guess I would be lying
to give my all to someone
just to get it handed right back
they say
we're all addicted to something
and u were my something

Sometimes,
In the space between our lips
and the time between "I love you." ,
your heartbeat sounds like footsteps.
Please don't slam the door on your way out.

You never really know how strong you are until you're alone,
crying and forced to pick yourself up off the floor.
That is when you can truly see how big your emotional muscles are
and I promise
they are bigger than you ever thought possible.

remember me?
I was the one who was always there
I was the light
even when reality casted darkness
remember me?
we were always inseperstble
yet somehow we have drifted so so far
remember me?
it hurts to know we used to be so close
we were always the strongest together
yet you never came back
you went away
you did not return
how selfish
for you to give your life to everyone else
just that easily

My eyelids seem
to be the strongest part of me.
When the rest of my body
falls
into the ocean
of blankets they
float open upon the white water
atop
the waves of sleep.
This is when you come back.
In this mattress I am a piece
of clay and I can still feel the deep indentations of where your fingers
wrapped themselves like Ivy around my hips.
Hips, that stuck out like white flags of surrender and
fell to the ground in a straight line.
I can still hear
you.
I am a broken record,
and your whispers are the only track that plays at this hour.
“You are fat”
“Look at how flat you are Emma, no boy will ever look at you.”
“You are ugly.”
These are the nights when I can
feel the spiderwebs your words wrapped around my ribs and
listen to the way my heart beats constricted
in its cage, your hand still clenched around it.
Can’t you see me bleeding?
Safety lies
beneath my eyelids but you pull them open
I can feel
your icy touch behind my eyes as I stare
coldly at the ceiling.
you demand to be heard.
Did you mean to put your words
in my pocket when you reached in to steal the sleep that was nestled there like crumpled dollar bills?
Do you realize that you stayed with me?
Can you take your stolen midnight hours back and place them on your pillowcase?
Will your eyelids close?
Or can you still hear my cries of protest as your soundtrack plays into the night?
I don't understand?
Did you think it wouldn't hurt me?
Or did you want to live forever,so you put your
fingerprints where you knew they wouldn't fade.

I sit by the lake,
                                 on the lush green grass,
gently try to break
                                  my inner thoughts,
and silently assimilate
                                 chirping of birds,
rhythmic swaying of trees
                                 by the sweet breeze,
stare at the white cotton clouds
                                 spread on the chimerical blue
and try to soak the pure dew
                    till the morning remains new.