Methanol*

You were my first secret handshake
but handshakes are history,
why should I befriend a snake,
when I could avoid the misery?

I'm not imploding from the pain
of having no real closure,
no need for guilt to
build my heart a terrain
over your lack of composure.

The smiles you saw
after I pulled the trigger,
after my deed,
were a symptom of no remorse,
no blister
for plucking power out of a ****.

Phenols*

Your heart was always empty
and I was full of self sacrifice,
so I tried to give your heart substance
with all my deepest love.

I poured and poured,
with pain I wrestled
before realizing I was pouring
myself into a stubbornly empty vessel.

You could have just told me
you didn't want any part of me
and not left it too late,
with pieces of me floating about
in a heartless man.

In the bursting light
Of blistering winter's night
I shiver and cough

and the more she looked
the closer she        stood
to the                                  edge
of that                                    cliff
where she'd stay
the army of those who won't look dead in the eye
marched onwards as her confidence continued to decay
like crumbling walls and bro
-ken fences
her mind
those thousands of uneasy neurons
remained present till the last warm soft
                                                     drop
spilled out onto the rocky ground
and every glance in the mirror
took from her a lifetime

a wild woman inside
I seem to keep being reminded
it's not shocking that you're nervous
it feels isolating if I'm being honest
i'll be opened
and then I'll seal it
but tell me about your gut feelin'
I can't help it I'm a runner
but you already know that I'm a sucker
you've got me feelin' my feels out on you
& your threads sound dope
you tell me you've got hope
in me
in my vibe
through circuts and waves
****
what a ******* way to behave
show me your years
i've got mine numbered with irrational fears
you can see them in my palms
it's my turn to my nervous