some nights you will feel
like there are a thousand galaxies
exploding in every inch of you
and you are burning too bright
to ever be looked at directly,
and some nights you will feel
impossibly small, like your
whole body could slip through
the spaced between atoms and
never reappear in this world again,
and some nights you will feel
like a paper doll, carefully crafted
and easily blown away, fragile,
too delicate to ever be touched,
and some nights you will feel
like each cell in your body is
made of the strength that holds
the whole planet together,
and that is okay because you are
made of stardust and miniscule
atoms and breakable bones
and the building blocks of
everything in the universe,
and you are too alive to never
feel anything more than human

I was told about days where
I wouldn't feel love
And that in fact I wouldn't feel anything
And that not even the overwhelming
Thought of life would bulge
Any feeling into my body
Does it make sense to say that
Nothing is a feeling?
I feel nothing.

Why is body shaming
curvy people wrong,
but shaming
skinny people is okay?
I can't help the way I am.
My body was built this way
so stop shaming me.
Stop shaming everyone.

there was a time she felt cold
and weak
and lonely
and empty
and numb.
and she truly believed that
by being thin
and looking like she wanted to,
she'd be happy.
but that didn't happen.
in fact,
she just faded away,
disappeared inside of her clothes
and of herself.

lost the sparkle of her eyes
and the colour of her lips
and cheeks.

was it worth it?

you are not your grades or your scars
your height or your weight
you are not your face or the color of your hair

you are the person you define yourself to be
you are who you want to be
you are not the opinion of the people around you

you are your soul
be it old or young
you have lived many lives
and this is just the beginning

you know that I love you
and admire you
and respect you.
I've told you this,
I've wrote you this,
I've expressed in every way,
but I have to be honest
it's not always like that.
Sometimes I wish you were like other moms
and didn't demand so much from me.
I wish you could simply be happy to see me happy
and that you didn't make me feel guilty about having fun
and being normal.
You manage to, in a split second,
make everything that pleases me
and my entire world
seem pathetic and meaningless.
I try to be strong for you
and to be exactly what you expect me to be,
but I can't.
There are parts of me that I felt like I needed to hide
in order to make you proud.
I wish I could be the real me with you,
talk ****,
wonder about life
and just be natural,
without having to worry about your judgments.

I just miss being with you,
without the world, your past and the whole family
weighing us down.
Being with you,
without you feeling guilty for not being with them,
and criticising me for not being like you.
At the same time I admire you for all that,
sometimes I wish
I just had my mom as a friend,
not as the wife, the daughter, the aunt, the sister
you are.
Maybe I just have to accept
that it's always gonna be like that.
Maybe I'm the one who's wrong
and too selfish,
like you said.
I didn't wanna be like that.
I wish you admired me the way that I admire you.
But I just can't reach all your expectations
and i wish you didn't hate me for that.

large, and in charge as I'd like to put it.
chunky, pudgy, fat, plump
however you'd like to say it, however
it is none of your **** business.

I am not a number on a scale
or a mile that I haven't run
I am not the size of my waist
or the "excuses" that have lead me to "let myself go"

But I, am human.
Say what you will
but I love myself.
blonde hair, blue eyes
a sense of humor that can't me measured with something so feeble as  measuring tape.
A love of life that will not be put to rest just because I may need to take a rest every so often.

How do you measure happiness?
not on a scale
or with inches
pounds or calories that seem to sneak up on you in the middle of the night and make your pants a bit too snug

we judge people for judging people because judging people is wrong
we blame society for our corrupt nature,
but we are society.