You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
Your beauty is something I fear I can't hold on too
There are so much better men out there for you
Why did you choose me
I'm poor
I have a bad reputation
I am a outcast
But you choose me
Even when you where so much better than me
The sad part is that keeping you with me is killing me
I can't let you go
I know I can't give you every thing you want
But at least I can try
Little by little I waste away every day
But your beauty is the force that keeps me going
I am a mindless animal with you
I know you
I know your beauty has let men into your life
I know you've accepted them without a hesitation
But I am just to powerless against your beauty
It's like a web and I'm the fly
I just can't leave
Until my death I will try try try and try to win you over
Even if it's killing me
I know I should just leave know
But I can't tell myself that none of this love was true
Not while I still think I have a chance to fully conquer you
Someday I'll win
Someday

I was in school ready to fight some one
As I squared up I got punched in the face and collapsed on the floor
Pain in my eye
I could see swelling as I fell unconscious
Then I woke up and all I could remember was hearing "WORLDDDDDSTARR"

I'm a man that has little respect twoard others land and property
But when I saw that rose it was something rare that couldn't be replaced our bought
I climbed the fence and plucked it from the owners garden
Ran with it through many adventures
I saw the beauty in the rose
It was not like the others
But due too the fact I plucked it
Just like I stole it they stole it from me
For having been the one to pluck the rose I had to face the consequences
Oh what better consequence than to have what was stolen from me stolen
I can see know what others had to go through
But this pain and suffering is to great
How can I live without my beautiful rose
Now I'm crying feeling like the original owner
Just waiting for it to return
Right beside the fence
Without the my roses warmth

Fear is on my mind
Thinking about whats on in life
Never stop thinking about the reaper
Who he gonna ****** next
My life is a mix of depts
Plus im never really up to something
Ima go help the world thats exciting
My momma told me show no fear
Wait till I tell her what i make a year
No wonder my brothers choose the savage life
I cant even pay my fines
Starting to feel like theres no love
My only wish is to make it rico
Allways regret the things I do
Never really stoped feeling like a tool
I'll never make myself happy
My minds like a wheel of fortune
Allways lands on depressed
Ive been feeling like a fool
Maybe I cant make it here
Someone said stop that youll regret it
Made me feel like a hundred bentlys
Want to stop the gates and shut the doors but the things are allready on the floor
All my friends just turned away
This all made me raise the stakes
Shut the door
Im alone
Thats what I allways hate

Life is long
Then suddenly ding ****
Your time is up
You look back at all you've done
As you go up
The memories you've had are long
Some make you laugh
Some make you cry
But then it hits you
You ran out of time
Then you try to pry down but you cant its too late
You wanted to at least make one more memory before it was too late
Then you see all you left behind and you start to worry
But this is your fate
How sad it ended this way
My lesson to you is dont waste your time

Josue was a young boy growing up in a really ghetto part of town
When he was born his dad left his mom and he grew up without a father
At a young age while his brothers where all joining gangs and selling drugs he was getting academic awards at school
Even though his mom never really cared about any of his achievements or was never really there for him at all his aunt persuaded him to continue doing good
So it was from there on that he started getting good grades in every subject throughout elementary school
Josue gratuated the 5th grade with the highest honors
He promised his aunt he would grow up to be a good boy and not turn out like his brothers
But that didnt last long
His aunt died during his sixth grade year and he started living with his mother and his new step dad
Pretty soon he felt like he was a stranger in his own home
His step father started putting him down and threatening him meanwhile his mother didnt care
Teachers started to grade his assignments harshly because they didnt like him
At school he started hooking up with the wrong crowds
The lack of love and the accumulationo hatred made Josue take up bad habbits
Josue started ditching often and stealing occasionally
Soon he forgot all about his grades and achievements and started to drink and do drugs
After a while his mom kicked him out of the house
Soon later josue joined a gang and started dealing drugs
His life got bad after that
He started getting arrested often
Soon no one even came to visit him in prison then one day while he was serving a 5 year scentence a package arrived
It was a package from his aunt that would have been delivered approximatly 10 years after her death
Inside where old letters and achievements
Many of the things inside brought back memories of Josues youth
Soon he started crying and remembering everything
Then he found an important letter
An old letter it said " ill allways be good ill never do harm ill allways be yours aunty"
Josue swelled up with emotion
He started yelling and crying
He started punching the walls of his cell
He knew what he had done
He had become the man he never wanted to become
The guards took him to his cell
That afternoon Josue prayed for 2 hours
After he finished praying at midnight he hung himself
The next morning when the guards came in they picked up his suicide note
It said "I no longer wish to live. I broke a promise a promise that would have shaped my life a diffrent way. Now I have nothing to look forward too but death, so i decided to speed time up and go at midnight. The only one to blame foot suicide is the lack of love. Maybe if I just head mom there out would be diffrent. Maybe if there was something or someone to look after me out would have all been diffrent. I will soon be with the only person who brought joy love and passion into my life. Pray i make it to heaven amen"



This tragedy could have all been avoided with love. Give love not hate. Make this world a better place

When i was a kid they told me i was not so normal
I couldnt understand why so many people looked at me so funny
Like as if I werent even formal
Growing up they gave me the nick name bunny
I was as smart as i was quick
Allways did things like a dart
But as people began to know me they ran saying I was sick
Some said I was mental
So I began to be real slick
Started robbing when i was nine
Because my dad left me at the age of five
Momma allways told me look at the world and tell it everytime you can
Im a fine man
And i cant be knocked about
So I steped up and made every dream come true
Even though many told me to kick the can
I said look at me now I drew the plan
But even though I was a success
I knew throughout the years i was still so so sick
Then one night after 2 or 3 shots
I came down felling I was blessed
But the anger that was in me would never really rest
I made bullet holes through the walls that went chick chick chick
I will allways be crazy inside

Life has given me many situations and different types circumstances
But the fact that I keep going through problems instead of making my way around them puzzles me
Why do I keep telling myself and others im fine when questioned
Even I know most of the time I'm just kidding myself as soon as I respond
Why do I keep trying to chase after a goal that seems impossible not just that also disappointing to me if accomplished
I can say its because I want whats best for me my family and others or maybe its what I allways dreamed of doing but even better its my goal in life or its what I've set out for
These are all just ways to cover up how we really feel about life and the things we want to accomplish
I'll tell you the truth on why I set out to accomplish things
I go through diversity just to impress my step dad the only father figure I will ever know
I try hard and been trying scince I was a teenager
But even though I try hard just to receive some fatherly love he still thinks I'm a lying disrespectful unworthy stupid *******
I try to impress my mom
A women who has never paid any attention to me and has abandoned me throughout my life coming and going whenever she feels like it
I try to hard tell my self I'm perfect because in this dark and hurtful world my self-esteem is hurt bad and I don't want it to fall any lower
I try to hard to make sure my daughter doesn't fall like I did so she doesn't feel as if her life has been a total failure
I try to hard make something of my self seeing as i could not have came to the world any lower
This is why I try
These are reasons we try
To fix things we dont like to protect people we care about to get things we never had
This is how we really feel but never express

I have alot of things to remember
One of them was with you
You allways made me happy
I loved it when we went to the fair in september
And when we swam in the pool
I remember when we though obout you as a granny
There where times we would fight but it was allways cool
I loved the way you looked in those black tights
I miss being with you
I love these memorys of you
But I need to forget them soon

There are alot of things I want to forget
So many things
But the The thing that bugs me most is that I can never forget
I wish I never did this I just ended up hurting myself and others
I wish things where back the way they used to be
Sometimes I wish I was never here or never present
But that's life you have to do things you'll regret
It's like lottery
You win or lose
But I've just been losing
It hurts to lose and that's all I Do
I want to win once
I want to have the life of others I just want to win
I don't want to lose any more
I don't want to fall short at all
I want to be a winner
I don't want to be myself
But in the mirror that's all I can see just me
Then every thing hits me all the pain then I'm ashamed
I don't want to be myself

Stresed about the many different duties
Making money is no problem
I just cant make it out the lining
Whenever I see us it makes me sad
I just cant see the life we had
My eyes are binded
Havent seen the support you used to have
Why does life make me mad
Havent made enough for the dream we had
No one likes it when your perfect
I cant even make you mine
But the men your with make me *******
Why cant you just accept me for the real me
All you want is money thats no problem
Come with me
Be with me
Why do you have an issue
I have no issues just
stay with me

The tunnel is a long walk through the dark
Its a walk that never seems to end
But when you reach the light at the end you start to wonder
You think of all the times you thought it wouldnt end
You imagine a better end
Something that fills your heart with  joy and no repent
Sadly though for most of us we just feell regret at the end
We think of all the things we should of done with all the time we had along the tunnel
We think so much of it we go mad at the end
The walk along the tunnel is shorter than it seems
Sometimes we dont enjoy the sights or men we meet
We start to wonder off and lose ourselves to a point where we dont even know ourselves
We become black sheep in others eyes
We do things we don't mean
But its not us its them we look at ourselves perfectly
So many of the things we do along the tunnel fill us with tears at the end
They scare us so much we start to repent
But in the end you find yourself but its too late your at the end of the tunnel

Outside the window I see beauty and light
The type of scene that brightens my world
But the thin sheet of glass separates me from what I most desire
From what's outside and can't be obtained not because no one can have it but because I can't receive it
Freedom
Inside, the house is a dark place filed with tears and suffering
I pray that today will be the day I leave
From the outside it looks as if I live in comfort
But inside I live in fear
Fear of being brought down
Fear of regret
Fear after fear
I fear so much that if there wasn't a window I would go mad
The struggle to survive inside is hard
Everything here drains your life away
There is so much darkness no one sees
There is so much suffering I cant think
But through a small opening in the back of the room a glass sheet shows me a better place to look forward too
This gives me strength to move on
And a bit of hope to look forward to
The window shows me the freedom I'll some day have
So all I do is stare out the window waiting for my time to come
Hopefully it will come soon

Life is all about risk

I still see her with alot of love
Even if ill never see her again
I still remember her body that was once mine to love and to hurt until the end
Ill never lick my lips or touch her again
But she has to understand shes too beautiful and nice too just forget
Should i just say my excuse now or maybe forget
But she has to understand I desire her until death
Who cares if ill never see her again
I dont know what to do anymore
Then I just see her beautiful eyes
I take her and then we fall
She cant leave me no matter what
I love her as much as she loves me
Ill love her right now even if it'll be the last time
Shes just too good to forget

When do we truly stop being men of god
When we commit sin or when we stop listening
I didn't notice when I stopped being a man of god
I let my whole life spiral through my very own hands in such a way that now I don't even know if I can find a way back to my Lord
I had every thing
I was the envy of many
But mostly i knew I was always with him
Now with a few bad decisions I'm down
Down and depressed I am hopeing he will come back to me
Hoping that with at least one little touch even on the tips my finger he can bring light back into my dark world
I plea and beg him too return
I'm so depressed and hurt
No one comes to my aid
Every afternoon I plead that he'll come back into my life
I ask for forgiveness and help
This is my darkest moment
I want him to return
If he doesn't I have no choice
I have to end it

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