It's a hole
This I am sure of
It leads down to the place where the sun never comes out
Where I'm sitting on a sewer drain
My hair in knots upon my head
My crown of ignorance
I shouldn't allow myself to make that trip
But I do almost daily
I see in the 20/20 vision I most certainly do not have
My heart ripping at the seams in slow motion
The way I shudder with every drag of the cigarette
A blank expression waiting for a sign that never came
I figure one day I'll be strong enough to fill this hole with concrete
Watch it harden and not dig it back up
But I truthfully never made emends for the reasons it got so far
Years later I don't see how I could
I mean how many people would listen in the first place?
So many nights I go down the hole
Chipping away at the foundation,
Watching it grow in size every time
I always imagine it will be different
As far as I know there's been no luck
I fear there never will be.
Eternally I am Eighteen
My hair in knots as a crown upon my head
My heart shattering for all the mistakes I will ever make
A fresh tattoo and the musk of a cigarette
My throne a sewer drain
The safe place before I make my way home