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 Jan 2017 John Stevens
Ami Shae
MIA
 Jan 2017 John Stevens
Ami Shae
MIA
Missing in Action--
that would be me--
I hide out in my dark room
sometimes afraid
to leave the gloom
but when I finally
find my way back here
I always find writes
that seem so perfect and dear
and I wonder why
it takes me so long
to come back here to read
when so oftentimes
that I do--
it sparks the hidden need
I feel for connection
for all you amazing poets here
thank you, dear poets
for helping me to clear
a path to a new and improved me
I hope I'll be here more often
and that you all
will be happy, safe, healthy and free...
I hesitate to confess that sometimes I am afraid to write. What if the huge pain and fear that lives inside me comes pouring out? But when I read the writes here, I see such beauty and talent and just wanted to let you all know I truly appreciate each of you.
 Jan 2017 John Stevens
Poetic T
As I wiped the blade the congealing efforts of
what had perspired dripped in raindrops of lost essence,
I started to be nostalgic of when it all started and I smiled.
It isn't easy you know doing this hobby
                                        its a full time commitment,
I have responsibilities. And before you ask just because I live
in my moms basement it didn't have any implications to this
and what led to my endeavours of what I do now.

"You cant just go out stabbing people that bath salts territory
for goodness sakes,


Ok when did it start, around fifteen years ago give or take.
To think about it I was quite violated by the sight of blood,
I passed out at school when someone cut there finger. I know
from fainting to where I am today the paradox of it all.
So I was walking home and I thought stupidly to take a short
cut, I know that's just asking for a dilemma of consequences
but I was running late and thought overrode reason.

"Safer than sorry my mother would say,

I should really listen to words of wisdom than to just throw
them aside and regret them later. Well this time was a moment
of ignorance and I delved into my darker side and threw abandonment
to the winds of chance. I saw that idiot and knew without a thought
that his life needed to be forfeit in the eyes of the many.
In haste I went out and without planning I just used a unregistered firearm. These are so easy to find in ponds, lakes, rivers.You just have
to be stupid enough as I was to delve into them with a wet suit.

It was like swimming in the disgrace of humanity and I accidently
swallowed more of humanity than I wish to admit. As I reached
the shore of the golf course I had found a stupid amount of guns....
Do these pools ever get dredged?? how many angry golfers play
on this field?? but I just cleaned a few out not wiping away the prints,
silly little fools leaving there prints on the weapons.

I must admit the first five or six people that were my pleasure
of ending were just **** holes, total and utter ****-tards....
I know you just cant just going around killing totally
worthy munchkins. But it was my weaving of knowledge
into the formula of departing my subjects in a manner so that
a milk carton was the only focus they would get.
Never to show that they were an item of interest but a random appearance of some disillusioned person in a vendetta of misunderstood reasoning's.

But this lost its stimulation of enthralment  pretty quickly
due to the vacant space between us. It wasn't as if they knew
my face, it was just a finger pull and I ended them to hastily,
I even felt somewhat remorseful for them not knowing the
perpetrate of there demise. and a few ran still lingering to this
existence, do you realize the skill set to hit a moving target.
But none got to far, I didn't take it personally, it was a fight
or flight reaction.

But they were always vacant of life when I walked away
from the scene. I was always throwing these weapons
after a few uses, those that had used it before there prints
still viable. So those that had used it were to blame for
these indiscretions that I had partaken in. Karma was about
to visit upon those lost stories that drowned in that pond.

Learning was a curve that was thrown, and one that hit me
square between the eyes. I had slatted the impression that
I was in the right, and even though I wanted to seep the blade
into the flesh of my perspective victim. I had to watch
the implications of what I had preserved  in that moment.
There were struggles and definitions of what was acceptable.

I still had to hold a job, I worked in a hardware store,
"what are the chances, I know. But where you would think
someone that could easily end the breath of another would
stand out only the crazy ones. We the methodical ones were
patient,  too many and whispers starting and I needed silence this
had to be obeyed and enforced by myself. Urges had to vetted
another way and painting was my outlet for these compulsions.

Each one of us had as we called it our own unique ****** kits,
well what did you think we were going to call them hobby boxes.
Me I had a ways to disable my prey, a motion to move them concealed.
I had a people carrier,
                     "I know the humour didn't escape me either,
I had constructed a vessel to keep them static so not to move
and give the game away, kind of like a straight jacket restraint.
For the murmurs I had constructed a gold fish bowl of sorts,
constructed around the neck and then white noise is pumped
in  revoking the screams because of the frequencies of the
human voice.                
                            "science is so cool,

Do you realize it took five years of planning and a college
class in science to do many aspect of this hobby.
But where do I take them, to there own home, always
checking there schedules. Movement = time = opportunity.
And this is how I have worked all  this time, consistency is
what keeps the path clear for other endeavours.
The sense of smell in each home is unique, some people
though no respect of there surroundings and who may visit.

Do realize that some don't voice opinion as they know
if there in this predicament no words are going to change it.
Some struggle, but I learnt to use a paralyzing agent to render
them motionless. Sedated only tears fall from there suspended
features. I never clean up there mess, I'm not a house maid for
goodness sakes all must be as it was. But I clean up my killing
venture so there is no evidence of there parting here.

I have a little spot, we all have our own hiding places,
research is the key, and mine was a secluded place....
I cant explain where, as that would be telling and who
knows who's reading these passages. I must admit though
this is a full time obsession, "norms, that's you people.
Wouldn't realize the stresses that happen upon my psyche.

All I would say is
                 "Don't quite your day job
This isn't really a hobby for most, they don't have the
patience the needing of planning and the waiting of
who shall gift you their last moment then nothingness.
I am wired different to you people. My empathy for
your feelings is non-existent, we are a moment in time
and I plan to silence your hour glass, your grain is about
to fall into oblivions sights and it will swallow you whole.
Drink up the intoxication of the moment and carry it with you as you go. A short way down the road your car will roll over and you will be a wreck. What you thought was going to last forever has run out of luck. You have hit a pothole in life and now your stuck. Not all days will be good ones some will be bitter and cold. The magic doesn't last forever, at least that's what I am told. So when you do have a good patch, enjoy it while it last, because life can end you up on the rocks pretty fast.
(a repost, from 2014)



two hands,
reach and hold,
entwine...reassure...

the eyes meet,
speak without words...

hearts beat
in one rhythm...
beating faster,
breath upon breath
as
two lips
press upon each other,
intense kisses ensuing...

feet,
in a huddled language,
toes, touching

two bodies,
sharing warmth,
sharing love,
sharing moments sublime...
immeasurable bliss,
undeniably
~~~d i v i n e~~~


Sally


Copyright January 28, 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
As we get closer to inauguration day for President selected Donald Trump, I've got a few things I'd like to mention.

I say this in no offense to Trump voters, I say this in no offense to Hillary voters. No matter which political party you voted for; I wrote this for the reason that somebody has to.

On the night of November 9th, while the masses followed their leader. I witnessed a gay vs. gay aggression. Or should I say, Hillary vs. Trump attack. This confused me, considering it's his American right to have voted for Trump. Suddenly it dawned on me. If one man almost got beaten and kick out of a bar for who he felt in his heart to vote for; Oh boy, we're in trouble. The bartender didn't even want to serve him seeing he voted differently.

Sooner than later, I'll be hated for the God I choose to praise to.
Call it ludicrous, but He's been hated on since the beginning of time.
Why would it be any different for us? The one who believe.
"If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." John 15:18

As the division continues to grow louder and stronger in our country this next week. Take heed. This world is dark enough, don't let them take your faith too. Even as love is at the brink of extinction, continue choosing love before hatred. Let's not add to it. If you don't have a clue what that looks like, just keep looking UP.

*For wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high *places." Ephesians 6:12
Just because I quote scripture doesn't make me perfect. Don't act like you know me, I'm just speaking from the heart.
 Jan 2017 John Stevens
Poetic T
I walk though the green ambiance soft under foot.
Patches of dirt where grass hasn't yet took,
varieties of shade leach blade never the same.

Under my feet the sound of rustling as my being
here is remembered as each footstep leaves.
wet dew is sewn on to the tips lingering like diamonds.

As I look back and see my traversing from there to
here, I see my footsteps like fingerprints showing
evidence of my transgressions through morning grass.

My walk nearing its inevitable end, I breath in the
freshness that sinks into my lungs. invigorated by
the surroundings I walk home across the carpet of green.
distrust
so often
creeps into
my heart
without even
the courtesy
of a knock
 Jan 2017 John Stevens
Poetic T
Be it in the sea or on land my duty is
                         the preservation of life
Be you woman man or child,
it doesn't matter if your ugly or fit
but remember this before you leave.
                                   "BRUSH YOUR TEETH,
Its a major gag reflex condition you
don't want my chunks in your mouth.

When I give you the kiss of life don't use
tongue, I have a wife who would  divorce
me quicker than you  know...
                  My job is to look good and to
always looked tanned with a smile.

*"Please don't drown, as the sea water leaves
patches on my skin fading my fake tan,
 Jan 2017 John Stevens
Poetic T
A withered carcass entombed
within my being,
An essence of what has succumb
beneath those placid waters
as I'm departed.

Your hands linger,
but are never grasped upon.

I'm obscured from all, and breaches
                whisper words in silence...
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