It isn't shown in bending steel
it isn't knowing why it bends.
It's not found in the knowledge of
and it's not even knowing when.
It can't be earned through slashing rage
or syphoned from all that it rends.
It's secret slightly hinted at
in the humming song that it sends
and one day when the heat is gone
and you hurl it end over end
that's when its balance strikes your soul
its mirrored gleam, your strength is kenned

In that time
When we were whole
When all we could think about
Was each other

And my soul was clean

We spent time
Learning the riddles
In each others skin
Painting with lightening
And ice
Words like brushes
Arcing across dimensions
All circling about our hearts
A wind in the weaves of fate
Whispering a gift to us
Like we had never known

In the morning
Before work some days past
You came out from about
A wooden corner
You seemed to have a billion eyes
And they all smiled at me
Like the calm luster
Of the moon

"I'm late" you said
And I got half way through
The stupid " you don't work toda...."
When my soul slapped my brain
Across the face with such raw ferocity
That I was worried the neighbors
Would call the police

Stammering like a drunken lunatic
I went to her and embraced the
Glow of her, the energy piercing us
Coiling about in infinite design

Just this once did I ever know peace

We talked about everything
My body went to work
My mind dreamt and my soul...
Well it danced. We brought life
to our parents eyes
and hope to ours.


It was just a few weeks in
And that same wooden corner
And that same beautiful woman
But there was fear
So much fear
A red red fear
And the world turned grey

Her words were like ashes to me
Cast over my frozen body
I stood blank
holding her heaving form

"It doesn't want to stay" she said
"Why doesn't it wan't to stay ?"

I wanted to say something
Anything!!
But I died right there
Still breathing
Holding her in Pompei comfort.
Like a little wooden man
Holding a plastic flower
Begging to forget the answer
To whether or not
God gave a ****.

I can't help but wonder
When toddlers trip and blunder
How we managed to ever survive

In their noggins the make
Of the brave Sir Francis Drake
The rest, accidental suicide.

from my car in motion i saw
some shivering silhouette
with a soft glow like
the last drop of sunlight
breaking on the horizon
or a black cloud with a silver lining
head in hands, weeping into their palms
on the opposite end of a short tunnel
for a fraction of a second
and i was green with envy
over all of their emotion.
sick to my stomach of the apathetic
reluctancy to feel anything worthy of tears
if i could throw it all up,
and let it cover my skin
like a sick filled spit fountain
or acid rain
then at least i’d feel disgusted.

I found you again today.
In a box
I almost threw you away,
you know?

Buried in a bunch.
A mess of high school calculus
And little lost ideas.

Purple words,
Dead words. Love words now withered, Like bandages about a corpse.

You can't heal the dead ya know.

I guess even the richest king
Must end up in a tomb.
Mouth agape in frozen complaint.
Covered sadly, with golden futility.
By those who knew him so little.


But, it spoke as it always did
Simply and impossible to ignore.
Like sand in the eyes.
Like your eyes.

Reminding me of old foot prints.

Reminding me of me
When love was so singular,
Easy and yet.....

It oiled my rusty smile
Enough
To kiss you good bye

Again.