I am at your service
Your wish is my command
But you say you want me to be strong
So I'll fake it till I am
I think I could fight an army for you
If I could muster up my own
I won't pretend I'm superman
But I'll make your house a home

Not looking for a conquest
I don't need to get my rocks off
I just want to see the world
And you're coming with.

What am I to do
Oh my fair skinned sister?
You are family to me
Yet I fear I may be forced
To bring the news
That I'll not be returning

I fear that if I do return
It will be on my shield
Not with it
As the Spartans used to say

Here I stand as Leonidas
Foolhardy and bold
I watch as I crumble
As my phalanx fold

So what am I to say
Oh my fair skinned sister?
How long will you mourn my absence?
Before you forget
And carry on?

What am I to think
Oh my dark haired sister?
What am I to feel?
You have been my guide

What am I to be
Oh my bright eyed comrade
My cheerful compatriot
My dearest friend?

Sing to me
Oh my fair skinned sister
Some sacred sonnet to save me
Play for me
Oh my fair skinned sister
Some long and lingering lyric
Some sweet melodic line
Some hypnotic harmony
To save me from my mind

Am I just a ***** up?
No.
I was made for more.

You're a long way off kid.
Not a single thing about you is ******* up.
Well, nothing but your self image.
That's way out of whack.

You're a good kid.
Creative.
Smart.
Likable.
Where'd you get the idea that you're a ***** up?
Not from me. That's for sure.

So stop listening to the little man on your left shoulder.
He's got nothing good for you.

Now.
Focus.

Signs point in different directions
Art>
<Science
History^
Oddities¿

Art:
Every memory of every sunrise
Every beautiful melody
Here.
And so many images of her.
Some sweet
Some candid
Some sad.
How can we revel in the joyful
Without knowing it's opposite?
Every delicate poem
Every lyric yelled
Every painting
Every sculpture
And in all of them,
Her.

Science:
Models of molecules
Diagrams of data
Sketches
(Where are the equations?)
Math is forbidden in this museum.
Lectures
Theories
All gathering dust.

History:
Names.
The greatest of men and women
Julius Caesar
Constantine
Marc Anthony
Cleopatra
Rosa Parks
Elinor Roosevelt
Patton
Churchill
Kennedy
MLK

Maps and charts
Famous cities of old
Sparta
Alexandria
The halls of Montezuma
Constantinople
Babylon

Oddities:
Phantom Kangaroos
Homemade Bazooka
"That made the news?"
And Bubblegum the Baluga

The Raven Empress
Flaming mattress
Sharks with lasers
Pandas with Tasers

As I lay here on my bed
My soul is falling
Down
Into a deep deep pit

No

Not falling
My soul IS the pit
And I fall into it
I am not drowning in my fear
Rather I see it as a marinade
Of gasoline and gunpowder
I dwell in it, soak it into my skin
And wait for the match to light

As I sit here
My arms and head are heavy
Though my eyes leave the ground
They always return swiftly
I no longer can look into your eyes
With confidence
I feel I have failed you
More than the rest
More than myself

I see you
And my whole being shakes with envy
My stomach is twisted with jealousy
All that I desire in life
You have
I find no solace in slumber
No respite in my dreams
Night after night
Week after week
I dream of my failures
I'm haunted by the ghosts of my shortcomings
And wounded by your spectre of success.

All that is good
Is not always beautiful

All that is beautiful
Is not always happy

All that is happy
Is not always good

I am weary
From early morning
And night so long
I am weary

I am weary
In
Body
And
Mind
And
Soul

Won't you give me strength?