I wonder if I really am kind hearted.
Most people think it’s true,
But maybe I’m just afraid of being mean-
Maybe I’m afraid of being you.

I wanted to run when you fractured my heart
And yet I stayed
clinging onto hope
Years went on
I slowly lost parts of me
you kept trying your hardest
But you couldn’t see
I wanted out
To save you
To save me
I couldn’t persist
I couldn’t reconcile
Sadness crept into my heart
Into my smile
Into every part of me
Yet you still looked at me lovingly
Then painfully
Gradually feelings die
Overwhelming sorrow
I pushed you away
Now alone
Apart
It’s over
Your fingers slip through mine
And You finally let go
This was what I wanted –
Was it not?
Didn’t want to see you anymore
But you and your beauty are all I see
Tears fall down my face
I let you go

The people who I said were my everything ,
Were the ones to abandon me,
So here I stand all alone,
At the edge of abandoning myself.

the time that you told me to die
was painful that I didn't even try
slapping you

I don't know if you lied
but all I knew was it was possible
that you wished I did

I tried to make it up to you;
avoiding hurting you
with the fist,
and temper of mine

I just wished you noticed that I tried;

Yes, I've grown distant,
trying to find one's self;
I was occupied, sad, and alone.

Too busy to find friends,
that won't discard me when I needed someone

I guess that I pushed you away
so that you won't be like me.
An envious, gullible fool
but
as I did,
the more you become
a little more
like me.

We're the opposite of each other
but undeniably similar.

no one loves me
but they claim they care
if they really did wouldn't they see

i am falling apart
fragile to the touch
yet they keep on pushing me

closer to the edge
and they think i can take more
so they push farther till i'm at the brink

it's like they know i can't swim
but they are going overboard
and they'll be suprised when i sink

My mind thinks of the worst things I could do to you
The worst person I've ever met
With your slander
And lies
I could destroy you
And I want to
But I won't
Because then I become you
And I could never forgive myself for that.

Dear past self.
If you read this, you might realize that you have been through a lot of difficult things.
Look at yourself in front of the mirror so you could see yourself that has grown into a strong person.
You might have gone through so much pain and scars that you are no longer trying to cover up.
You have had enough and even more than enough.
Let time give you a chance to meet with happiness so you can see that the world is full of beautiful people.
Let them surround you, fill your days with meaning, and drive away your loneliness.
Let them be proud of who you are now.
You are extraordinary.

They say we are a mistake
A blot in history
A disaster waiting to happen
They say we are cursed
That we will never work
They say
They say
They say
They sa
They s
The
Th
T
.

When tomorrow starts without me, I will not be here to see,
That the sun will rise and find your eyes; filled with tears for me,
But please know you're always in my heart, and I will forever love you,
And know, each time you think of me, I will be missing you too.

When tomorrow starts without me, I need you to understand,
That an angel came, he called my name and took me by the hand.
He told me it was time to go up to heaven far above,
And that I have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

When tomorrow starts without me, I know that you will cry,
For all my life I’d always thought that I would never die.
I had so much life ahead of me; I had so much to do,
It seems almost impossible that I was leaving you.

When tomorrow starts without me, I think of the good days, and the bad,
I thought of all our fights, next to all the fun we had.
If I could have stayed, just for a little while,
I would say I'd always be here, and then I'd make you smile.

When tomorrow starts without me, I'll realise that this could never be,
As all that would be left of me, is frozen in memories.
Then I thought of all the beautiful things that I would miss tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.

When tomorrow starts without me I will walk through heaven’s gate,
I will feel at home even without my soul mate.
I know this is what I wanted, deep down within my bones,
And God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne.

When tomorrow starts without me I see everything He promised me,
“Today your life on earth is past, and now you can be free.”
“I promise no tomorrow as today will always last,
And since it's all the same you will not be longing for the past.”

So when tomorrow starts without me don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me I’m right here in your heart.

The emptiness in my eyes,
The truth behind my lies,
The fall before my rise,
And the goodbyes;

It scares me.

The dark beneath my skin,
The light within my sins,
The voice that loudly sings,
And my broken wings;

It scares me.

The wounds I can't heal,
The pain I can't feel,
The loss I can't deal,
And when I am real;

It scares me.

The silence in my little talks,
The stillness in my moonlit walks,
The thought of separate ways,
And my numbered days;

It scares me.

The demons under my bed,
The words spinning in my head,
The blood in my sweat,
And my cold breath;

It scares me.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj