Holding you I feel the extremities
Of both safe and unsafe
Love and hurt
You provide access to
The most beautiful things
But you also allow the door to open
To the most haunting of things
You’ve bruised me and you’ve cut me
But you’ve also painted me pretty
You’ve gifted me with my most
Attainable desires
And you’ve taken away my most
Prized possessions
I can’t walk anywhere without you
But I miss everywhere I take you
Through your eyes everything’s better
I can erase my most prevalent flaws
And yet I miss the beauty
That belongs to imperfect things
And the uniqueness
Each and every one of us brings
And as much as I long
For a world without you
I can’t seem to let go
Of this phone.

You look at me
and I feel as though
Time isn’t enough
but I hold your attention
As long as I can
before you turn you head
And along with it the tables
and my world is upside down
Until you turn your head back around

He takes my hand, and all feels right
And it’s in his arms I choose to spend the night
But come morning, when he’s awake
I think of the best excuse I can make
Because coffee tastes better to me alone
And I don’t like to eat except on my own
And I’m scared of having morning breath
So I say goodbye and wish him my best
And I’ve been ripping apart my skin
Trying so **** hard to let him in
But my best intentions just aren’t enough
And he could easily call me on my bluff
But to me, he doesn’t say anything
And to that night, I know he’ll cling
Because he tells me about it when I see him next
And I have to reassure him it’s for the best
But again he takes my hand,
and all feels right
And it’s in his arms I again
Choose to spend the night.

You asked me to read you a poem
And you didn’t understand when I said no
Because I’m not ready
For you to see the whole of me
In all my blissful glory
And oh so dark days
To see my deepest hopes and fears
To see the absolute worst of all my years
To know me for more than I promised to be
Because what if you see me
Truly see me