Why don't the weather presenters just say it like it is?

Why do they say 'Oh a high of 34 it's going to be a glorious day'...

When really that is a completely ridiculous temperature,
Its boiling and I know my head is going to melt just getting to the bus stop. I'm going to have a face like a baboons **** by the end of the day... but no... it's glorious. ******* is it...

Watch out for those icy roads...

No... but thank you for your concern. I however will be doing my best Bambi on **** roller skates impersonation because the roads are gritted but the pavements are like ******* sheet ice. I might need a replacement hip joint by the end of the day.

There could be an accumulation of snow overnight...

Well if an accumulation means three flakes and the town grinding to a halt, I'm moving to a ******* Alaska. At least I could get to work on time. Even commuting from there would be quicker than my bus driver detouring around three ******* flakes, one of which looks suspiciously like a bit of lint.

Why don't they tell the truth?

Why don't they say okay, it's going to be ******* freezing, I wouldn't bother. Phone in work and say your dog is sick, make something up because you are going to regret every **** step you take to work.

Or... it's going to be a snow day,

The schools will be shut so your shop is going to be rammed with rosy cheeked, sniveling kids with their chubby fingers in your pick and mix all day. Kids in the street are going to be complete **** holes and pelt you with snow because their aim is crap and they should be inside in the warm on their computers...

or Mate... its ******' it down...

You might want to build an ark at some point. Your dog won't even go out in it, it will sit whining it's miserable snout off at the door all ******* day because it wont use a litter tray...

But your cat will be happy... smug little ****.

I don't understand
What is wrong with my mind.
It's betraying my heart.
Though your hands do seem kind,
My breath stars to quicken,
And it shouldn't mean much,
But my heart quickly unravels
As I flinch, shrink from your touch.

Black nights and the sound of you through my bedroom wall
Sing about her so you can see past your own skin
Flaws and fault lines captivate and horrify so you pick apart what you can
Young man trying to balance civilization with the old magic you once felt in your heaven that soon after became my hell
But don't cry for them
In time we all change
In time we all rearrange our feelings and heartbreaks
We all figure out all role models fall
But it broke you
And down you fell into a sea of your own discontent
The winter of 2014
Quiet brilliance never one to avoid a fight
You kick and you scream where you should lie back
And I loved you for it
Millennial abomination that you are
Spit your voice and chase her off your chest
Drink away the excess feeling and burn the rest
Don't you know that what the fire leaves untouched isn't your load to carry
Leave her along the side of the road for someone else to burry and pick up your megaphone and preach your gospel of self reliance on the streets
Born of Walt Whitman you speak of dependancy like a curse
But I know you need the stage to breathe I know you weak shouldered boy better than you know yourself at times
Though I only know you through the wall of your bedroom
I've watched you fight demons and cowards alike
Watched you been bruised and forgotten for years
Disciple of your innocence you were ignorant to the faults of your fellow youths
Pinned them up like prize fighters on your walls
Don't you know I watched it all
And one by one they fell
Unfaithful, thankless wretches and they took the life from you while you washed their feet
And you swore off dependency and trust for years on years and let it all go
And now it comes out soft and sweet through my bedroom wall
Let down and hanging around you sing for every ******* that forced their way in to your chest
It's a wonder you survived the rest
But here we sit after all.

I don't mind being another notch on your belt
Just as long as we both get what we want
I don't know what the ******* care to have
But I want you