He saw her through the tower window.
Silhouetted by candle light
Her beauty quite breath taking
On this cold November night
High above the tree tops
Imprisoned in the stone
She was far too pretty
To be trapped up there alone
So he fought his way to the top
This damsel deserved his best
He slaughtered the mighty dragon
Blood smeared across his chest
He made his way to the door
And found to his surprise
He could not break it down
Because she barricaded the inside
A scream from the room
You fool she hissed and said
I want to be here by myself
And now my pet is dead!
You ruined my castle
With your disgusting little plight
I am no damsel in distress
And you sir
Are no ******* knight!

It's not the memories that hurt.
I seldom find myself lost amongst those painful reveries.
No, it's much deeper than that.

It's not logical or tangible.
It's an inexplicable feeling,
Or lack there of.
A void.
Deeper than conscious thought.

It's molecular.
As if the atoms that create my existence mourn your presence.
Perhaps they grew fond of the way our forms were intertwined.
Vibrating in unison to an unheard melody.
They moved together in harmony.
They united for a time only to be torn apart by shallow egos and petty differences.

That's where the perpetual longing originates from.
They grieve your absence with an incessant hum that whispers your name throughout my body. Pleading with me to fix this.

Sigh.
Sounds better than admitting I actually miss the *******.
It's not me, I swear, it's my ******* atoms! Do I look like a physicist to you!? I don't know how to reinvent the atom!!

I'm trapped in the web
Spun from dreamt up illusions
Victim to none other
Than my hopeless delusions
Lured in by the same temptations
Agony is unmet expectations
Like an insect entranced by the light
Trying to escape the depths of night
I was drawn in once again
Perhaps this time will be the end
Hope was a deadly misinterpretation
Lost amongst unspoken translation
And I knew this all along
As I traveled towards the sirens song
I can't break free although I try
you're a spider, and I'm a fly
It's your normal way to be
As chaos starts to strangle me
The pain I wish I could not feel
Consumed by fear, the struggle's real
It's almost over so I'll say goodbye
The dark creeps in and I'm ready to die
Just when I thought I was fading away
I realized it's just Valentine's Day.

Living on this planet
Is causing growing animosity
For I do not fear death
It's more like a curiosity
Transcending this dimension
As my energy is released
Ending this ostracism
And anguish will be ceased
I do not wish to die, you see
But thoughts linger in my head
What's the point of being here
When all I feel is dread?

In a relationship
I'm not equipped
I'm too empathic,
The change is drastic
When in a union
I become a chameleon
I adapt
Till I'm trapped
I give to live
Until I find
My mind
Is gone again
I push away
My love it strays
In a daze
Stumbling
Fumbling
We're done
I run
To find clarity
My identity
Alone
At home
I yearn
To learn
Solidarity
Sincerity
For me
To be
Able to see
Entirely
My identity
As a singular
Entity
You see
It's not you
It's me
That needs
Protection
From your affection
That I lose
When I choose
Not to mingle
I need to be
Single

These words
They haunt me
Or so it seems
Incessant currents
Of poetic streams
Beauty
And love
Pain and sorrow
Troubling pasts
And dreams for tomorrow
Crumpled up
Paper
And piles of regret
Deemed unworthy
They make me upset
Memories burn
I'll never forget
They turn
And they churn
Inside of my head
Restless
Not sleeping
I'm writing instead.

It seems these antihistamines
Are causing reoccurring dreams
For every time I go to bed
The same old scene is in my head
Like the one where all my teeth fall out
As I sit and pluck them out of my mouth
This one causes a lot of strife
For I've had this dream my entire life
So I searched for answers everywhere
And this is what they had to share
The native said it signifies
Remorse I feel from telling lies
Which I guess would be appropriate
I tend to say things I regret
So I went to see a medium
To trace back where this all begun
We tried to get mister Jung
But as the Latin rolled off her tongue
To our surprise
Before our eyes
Stood the spirit of Sigmund Freud
Claiming I need *** to fill the void
A conversation I'd rather avoid
Needless to say we ended the spell
I gave her my paycheck and bid farewell
And as I exited out to the street
I almost hung my head in defeat
But the natives words came back to me
Bringing a sudden epiphany
It occurred to me as I was walking
I really need to just stop talking.
Perhaps I'll be a silent monk
To help me get out of this funk
But that just sounds absurd
I can figure out how this problem incurred
I don't need to see a therapist
Or invoke a psychoanalyst  
I will just continue on my quest
Until I obtain some dreamless rest
I'm sure I can find the connection
By immersing in more self-reflection
So when I go to bed tonight
I'll study my dreams with all my might!!

A play unfolds in my mind each night
As two opposing forces fight for control
The nefarious darkness assembles its army of thoughts to lay siege upon the throne of light.
Reason fires down from the compassionate wall
As the guilt slithers its way to the top.
The loathing berates the beautiful moat until the trenches give way to a cleansing flood.
As dawn emerges the enemies call a cease fire...to replenish their armies for the twilight to come.

Alone.
Stumbling through the sands of time
In search of shiny pebbles of hope
Buried beneath the never ending
Piles of ****
Defecated in our paths by those who came before us
Polluting our future with lies
Foreshadowing years ahead
Impending destruction and doom
A weight I feel heavy on my soul
An obligation to leave my path in life bountiful for those who tread it after me
Littered only with shiny pebbles of hope
Of love and beauty
Light and laughter
It is my mission
My legacy
Walk beside me
And our journey through the sands of time
Will cause ripples together.

Passion consumes every fragment of her being
atoms dance to the rhythm of a burning flame
Even suppressed the fire is still there dwindling beneath her skin
Tickling Her neck with goosebumps
Tingling desire down her spine
urging her to relent
Wildfire that cannot be contained
It's treacherous wrath knows no bounds when starved of the energy it requires
A necessity of being
Devouring the remains of those unable to feel
Charred ashes of apathetic souls
Dance with the sway of her blaze
Or return yourself to safety in the shadows of her sweltering light.

You're an anomaly
He said to me
A little crazy
But to Mr. Swayze
You're like the wind
Always travelin'
In different directions
I think his intentions
Implied a compliment
But it felt like cement
As it brought me down
Because I've found
That to be unique
You'll face critique
In a world that conforms
You'll surely adorn
A kind of pariah
As you start to acquire
The loneliness
Becoming depressed
By the need to connect
When they're all inept
To the concept
Of your strange perception.

Longing for something more profound
Stumbling around the same old ground
And mindless robots are all I've found
Is it too much to want to converse?
About atoms and molecules
Or the whole universe!
Everywhere that I turn
Here's what I see
Their only concern
Is what's on TV
Consumed by football
Hunting and cars
Meanwhile I'm here
Entranced by the stars
Perhaps I'm being a little dramatic
But please, come on please
Let's ponder cymatics!
Or quantum physics
Let's trace the specifics
While we chase some exquisite
New discoveries
Oh please, come on please!!
Stimulate my brain
Before I go insane
See?
I've already lost their attention
I'm so done with this dimension.

The lighting flashes in synchrony with the neurons firing rapidly in my pounding skull.
The night sky is exploding within itself,
Reflecting my inner turmoil.
A hopeless omen foreshadowing my misery..
For there will be no relief tonight,
as the thunder rages on in the darkness.

I have an autumn soul
For I am a child of the fall
And in the dying chill
You'll see the beauty of it all
My light is warm and soothing
But there is a frigid side
For lurking in the shadows
A wintry pain resides
So knit it all together
And bundle your heart tight
Beneath the hooded sweaters
Lies the darkness and the light.

The habit began
To **** the pain
After the trauma
I wasn't quite sane
It held me up
My crutch, my cane
Through all my mistakes
It shared the blame
The hard way taught
Me how to change
Then Years went by
And the baby came
So one by one
Old demons were slain
No longer wild
I started to tame
Sneaking away
Filled me with shame
But smoke like claws
Are dug into my brain
So I light one up
And stare at the flame
I love it too much
But I hate it the same
With defeated lungs
And yellow stains
I'll close the chapter
Of memory lane
I'll quit tomorrow
And break these chains.

Love may be the most powerful force..
A joyous, light feeling,
Embodying the true meaning of happiness...
It's unworldly,
Esoteric.
But in my opinion,
Nothing makes you feel more alive than pain.
The all consuming agony.
The truest reminder of the human condition.
As your spirit begs..
Pleads..
With every essence of your being,
Please just let me out...
PLEASE!
it's too much, I can't bear it..
Held captive in one's own skin
The blissful torment of solitude.
That's being alive.
And darling,
I sure am living.

Life's a ying and yang
Darkness and the light
A balance must be found
To separate day from night
To be happy on this ride
You must try to understand
The obstacles that you face
In this hourglass of sand
Your soul is like a coin
Each side must be faced
Your angels and your demons
To be accepted and embraced
Do not fear dark or light
For you surely will be lost
Accept it all entirely
No matter what the cost.
Learn to know thyself
Instead of drowning in the pain
Avoiding any part of you
Will make you go insane.

You build your walls higher
With each passing year
With every new heartache
Laying new bricks of fear
Until there's four walls around your heart
And every relation is doomed from the start
For no one can live from inside of a cage
Breakups tend to illicit your rage
But Show the world yourself intact
Vulnerability is a courageous act
Don't let rejection make you afraid
Please tear down those bricks that you've laid
Before you're buried in the ground
In the casket framed by walls around
Free yourself before it's too late
Or a loveless life will be your fate
Put your egos to the side
If you truly want to feel alive
Don't follow the trend like the rest
Failure is part of the road to success
And hating love is the latest fashion
If you ask me, the world needs more compassion
So when push comes to shove
Move right on and spread the love
Hold your head up high
With each goodbye
Let it go, don't wonder why
Always Give love another try
It's the only thing that never dies.

She rests her head
Over the stains of my pleasure
That thought alone
Makes me feel better
She goes for your phone
But I know you won't let her
Because you're  still holding on
To our love with a tether
The string that binds us
That you refuse to sever
You ask for me back
But I'm far too clever
Your words mean nothing
When you say you regret her
I will not go back
Sorry love,
Never.

This perpetual exhaustion is becoming heavier
At times I fear it's consuming every fragment of my being
Like a dense fog that creeps in, obscuring the beauty of the untouched landscape
It has smothered my enthusiasm and shrouded my mind
Each day as the sun sets
The light that once illuminated my eyes is stifled by the unrelenting shadows of fatigue.
My perception drowns amongst the sleepy tears and sinks by the weight of my jaded heart.

Sometimes I hope to pass you by,
Like the moon visible during the day,
Longing to feel a bit of your light
Before the darkness creeps in again.
Our souls will greet
For a fleeting moment
Across the sky
Until you cower below the horizon
And once again, say goodbye.
For all the stars in the universe
I sit back and wonder why
Only you could light my world
But eventually, all stars,
They die.

A tortured artist’s muse, an abstract concept that could never truly be defined. Though, they tried. Aspiring Picasso’s came like passerby’s, setting up their easels, trying to capture the essence of a moment. An ever changing scenery in constant flux. A single clip of time, forever evading the masterpiece. There was only ever a beginning, as frustrations with the unrelenting storm tore the portrait to the ground with each passing breeze. They failed to see the beauty in starting each day with a blank canvas, always determined to brush every stroke perfectly into place before the sun set. The love for the view was lost, so desperate to embody it completely they forget to appreciate it entirely, as layers of color paint a picture of indifference. But tell me Pablo, would you label the bird as callous for wanting to leave the branch...or would you gaze with the all the wonder of life watching it flap its wings?

I have the tendency to ponder reality
In this tangible world
I question duality
My mind and body
Once again disagree
The facades of perception
Versus intuition i can't see
My body a shell
Consumed by limitations
A universe in a vessel
Haunted by these sensations
As Conscious thought strains
For truth it cannot reach
In these dimensional chains
My soul continues to beseech
Through its holographic game
Past this curtain of deceit
To a knowledge I must reclaim
It's myself I must defeat.

Her patience evaporated like a drought.
Fire raged from her lips and poured out her mouth
Volcanic emotions cease to be contained
The sky turned dark and smoldered with pain
Whispered words from turtle doves
Ugly little push an shove
Slaughtered hope is on her face
Wounded heart with no embrace
The sparkle retreats from her eyes
The hole created when stars die.
A Void in an empty space
Bitter words with after taste
Wash it away with the ocean tide
And drift away with no goodbyes.

I live in the night sky
And float along the Milky Way
My lovers are comets passing by
Whispering Words as they run away
icy hearts with tears of fire
Wishing they could stay
To the moon I do confide
My dreams of love and life
She unveils to me her darker side
And I help her through the day
She weeps as she pulls the tide
With dawn she comes undone
She speaks of her forbidden love
As we glimpse the burning sun
We retreat into the dark abyss
Every time the daylight comes
Cloaked in the darkness
To fatigue I do succumb
I make my bed amongst the stars
And bathe in the Big Dipper
I lay my head just past Mars
My mind rests a little quicker
Wrapped in a constellation
I kiss the moon goodbye
My heart is in complete elation
My home is the night sky.

It's not enough to merely tell me
I need your words to compel me
Each breath to leave me hanging on
To the cliff my heart rests upon
Ready to jump as soon as you fumble
Be cautious in your words that mumble
Along the edge of my mistrust
For I will leave if I must
At the first mention of a cage
Your chapter will end and I'll start a new page
For I'm a bird flying free
Gaze up at the sky and see
Me soaring up above
Without the confines of your love
Despite the devotion you professed
I will not be possessed
For the sake of your insecurities
Fear expressed through jealousies
Your use of lusting attraction
Only serves as a distraction
From yourself you seek to hide
Ignoring pain you feel inside
So take a look into the mirror
Until you see a little clearer
Don't ask me for my hand
Until you begin to understand
And perhaps you learn the lesson
Love is about appreciation
Not possession.

In my mind you're a scientist
That sadistic smile sparkles
With the glow of your white lab coat
Another day of tweaking the variables
Measuring the effects of each experiment
Carefully calibrating the potency of your words
To acquire a more spectacular combustion
All just to see
If the power of your consuming lust
Can put out the flames once more
Or if your fragile test subject
Will finally reach her breaking point
And shatter into a state of no return.

The struggle to regulate emotion
Is difficult when they arrive as waves
But originate from an ocean
Trying to fold it all together
Like a beautiful origami
Unintentional suppression
Which culminates into a tsunami
That crashes down on your illusion
Bursting through the levy
And drowning in the confusion
Of self discovery
As vast as the universe within
A perplexing mystery
Inside of me
Searching for a place to begin
My quest
As I observe my ego
And balance the rest
When the tides cleanse the slate
Of internal distress accrued
Perhaps I'll wade amongst the water
And find the answer I've pursued.

As I lay awake listening to the howling winds against my window pane
For a moment I thought I heard it scream your name
So i opened the window and let it rush in
Only to be struck by the frigid pain
Reminding me to close it once again.

The smell of you is on my sheets
There’s ***** on the wall
Three empty bottles near my feet
I think I drank them all
Awoke to find you here
Though I truly can’t recall
The night before unclear
Did we **** or have a brawl?
Please wake up and leave
I’ll walk you down the hall
Feel like I’m going to heave
And you’ll probably never call.

I was just a small snowflake
Amongst the flurries in your world
I gracefully steered clear of the high walls of brick
A majestic descent
That captured your gaze
Like a ballerina on the stage
But that crooked smile
Appeared on your face
As your callous eyes watched me fall to my demise
Only to end my journey
Dissolving into the icy asphalt
Of your blackened heart.

Deep down,
We always knew we didn't belong together.
Like oil and water, separate, yet floating along in unison.
I can see it now.
I was always water, bubbling along trying my best to uplift those around me and nourish their souls with my vital compassion and generosity, springing new life into every crevice that lay in my path.
But then you came along, and covered me with your toxic love. It was thick and all consuming, slowly killing all the life force within. With arrogance you spread infectiously throughout my mind until the only thought I had was you. Once in a while the sun would shine upon you and I was in awe at the magnificence of your shimmering beauty as if for a moment, I thought I saw the real you, but it was merely a facade. A clever predatory disguise to mask the horrors of your deadly true self.
Pretentious description, maybe.
But since that fire was started I've been trying my hardest to burn away every trace of you from the surface. Hopefully in time your toxins will evaporate from my body and life will begin to flourish once again.
Until then I will wade along, watching patiently as the evidence of your oil spill dissipates into clarity once again.

I'm better off hitting rock bottom
All this constant lingering in the free falling downward spiral is agonizing torture
I reach for something to cling to and yet I'm still slipping, I can feel it
Once I secure myself in the depths of not sinking any lower I can begin to strategize my Ascension
When there's nowhere to go but up
My tendency towards a nihilistic disposition is a disheartening cynicism
And right now I just need something to believe in
No matter how temporary that belief may be.

I want to suffer in the bliss of agony
And drown amongst my overwhelming sorrow
It hurts even more that I have no choice but to keep myself together
When I want so desperately to be numb
The darkness is calling out my name
As I try my best to ignore the comfort of its song
I long for the poison. Coursing through my veins
As the blackness erases all of the pain
And I just want to fade away until it's gone

It never ceases to amaze me how enamored I am by the moon.
There's some sort of energetic mystical connection to my soul.
The way it  illuminates the darkness. It's mere poetic existence. It's breath taking.

It reminds me of who I am.
It whispers to me through the shadows.

As are the phases of life, the moon tells a similar story.

Unable to show the world her true potential. For even on the fullest of nights, when she's shining in all her magnificent glory, there still remains a darkness unseen. Unexplored. To that of which no man may ever see. The dark side that she keeps locked away.

She lets the sun dictate her beauty. She knows it's always there, but she won't shine without his light giving her courage to be seen.
And even then, with all his radiating love exposing her magnificence, she still conceals her darkness. It's her mystery. Always there hiding behind her entrancing allure.

Her mere existence makes waves. She can cloak herself in darkness yet the tide still pulls, longing to reach her. Desperate to get closer.

She's never whole for long. Her courage seems to dissipate soon after he leaves. Completeness is soon replaced with an empty sky. For in an ever changing universe there must always be highs and lows. Phases of life entrapped in a never ending cycle.

You may not always feel whole, but there's someone out there that still loves you when you're shrouded in darkness, that will seek you out when you're incomplete. For even a crescent is beautiful when you know what the shadows conceal.

Your memory hangs on the wall of my mind like a prized work of art. In those moments, when lost in a day dreaming daze, I drift through the halls of my gallery and find you there. Each emotion painting a different perspective of your canvas in constant flux, an abstract view that changes with the phases of the moon. But I can’t look away. The boldness of the hue leaving me in awe, yet the blood streaks down from my bleeding heart, reminiscent of the agony of the wound that’s still open. I lock it in the room in the corner of my thoughts, like a *******, a glutton for the pain that the sight of you brings. I can’t bring myself to take it down, despite the pleas from my tired soul. I cling to that moment captured in time, in foolish hope that one day you will return. Return to acknowledge all the love, pain, and destruction that created these masterpieces in my collection. If only you could see the passion in every brush stroke. The subtle way the pigment whispers the truth of my intentions. Maybe then, you too will be in awe. Maybe then, you’d want to stay.

If I were any more devoted to the illogical belief in you I could start a new religion
We'd hold belligerent masses every Monday since it's the worst day of the week and it seems suiting
We'd have commandments such as not to idolize another with the threat of impending self anguish for all of eternity
Zealots would come out of the woodwork like your adoring fans, each declaring their love for you is greater than the next
Skeptics would insist that the notion of you is false and scoff at those who believe otherwise trying to persuade us with cold hard facts as we gladly turn away in our blissful ignorance
We would hold on to our unwavering faith until our last breath in hopes of gaining some sort of favor in your eyes
Until we die and finally come to grips with the realization that it was all just a clever con instilled in our minds to control our every move in the joke we called our lives.
I realize all of this, I am aware my dear...though the heart is insistent on this blind devotion to your love.
I suppose I'm just as foolish as the rest.
Scoff.

A verdict was reached today. A jury of my peers depicted my character flaws and the judgement ruled I am an awful human being. The defense tried to argue the validity of my consistency towards psychosis but the commonwealth didn’t buy it. Now I’m left here, awaiting my sentence.... as if I wasn’t already serving it. When time is a mere construct that passes awfully slow. What is to make of concrete walls when I’ve been trapped within the square my entire existence? A little more time. A few more dreadful stares. As if any of it really matters at all? Just give me my ball to bounce against the walls of this construct until my time is over. Satisfaction is a mere state of mind and perhaps if I get the angle just right it will catapult back in my face and end it all for good.

Darkness slithers in like a snake again
And hisses the words
Hello my old friend
It makes its way to the belly of my fears
And rests in delight
At the sight
Of the sirens tears
Caught within the demons snare
It begins to constrict
As I gasp for air
A losing battle
For the more I fight
My vision gets blurred
And can't see the light
So now it seems
My only choice
Is to listen to
The hiss of its voice
Reluctantly I begin to abide
As the poison seeps in
To scorch my insides
It's okay I say
It'll be over soon
As I begin to give in
To the ominous tune
My soul revolts
In violent thrashes
A part of you must die
To rise from the ashes.

I'm afraid sleeping soundly only occurs after a fifth of whiskey
The void of sound is achieved by borderline alcohol poisoning
A deafness like the still of the night
When all things fade to black
Until one awakes with the dreadful ringing
Of bad decisions in ones ears
Like the incessant hum
Of Brain cells as they quiver and die

A walking contradiction
Speaking truth but living fiction
Chasing these words
An unrelenting addiction
Write it, just write it out
Find a connection
The lines must overlap
To explain this infection
Of incessant poetic streams
In search for direction
It seems my spirit
Needs a resurrection.

No light may fall upon my skin
To heal the darkness that dwells within
Draw the curtains and pull the shade
As you peer into these eyes of jade
A haunted glimpse of pain concealed
The horror if it's all revealed
It's the pity that I dread
I'd rather have disgust instead
If it's truth that you seek
Perhaps I'll show a little peek
I'm not looking for your absolution
Spare the awful light pollution
I'm not one to try to save
I prefer the dark inside my cave.

There will be no sleeping
As the same old feelings start creeping up my spine
I'm trying to unwind
Yet I'm anxious
Fidgety
There's no room for rest in this queen size bed
As my heart continues pumping this ache to my head
And my mind
Ever so stubborn
fights it instead
An age old battle
Between logic and emotion
If only I could apply
The same unwavering devotion
to something other than insomnia
So I'll let out a sigh...
There's no room for tears
When the what ifs and the whys
Are a pointless endeavor
So my mind will continue
To persuade my heart to sever
This anchoring string
That's drowning my soul
And this whole weighted memory
Will be a fling
In the graveyard of my past lovers.

Once or twice I met the reaper
In the dark despair of night
Inner battles kept on waging
And there was no end in sight
I begged of her to take me
Towards the warm embracing light
She ignored my painful pleas
Perhaps the timing wasn't right
I had almost lost all hope
With the never ending fight
Her wanted poster on my arm
Tattooed just in spite
A set of keys and whiskey
Cars can fly just like a kite
Soon after those events
Change started to take flight
A gift of a son
Made my world much more bright
The anguish has retreated
And I'm starting to feel alright
So, Please thank her when you meet her
there's a good chance that you might
Im grateful to be here now
If only for tonight.

My hopeful thoughts have shimmered away,
Like fireflies in the darkness of summer nights..
I thought I saw a spark..
But now it's gone...
I search in the shadows,
But once again it has retreated.
I'm left to wonder if it was my imagination again..
A mere facade in the night.
Impulsively I seek to numb it,
But in the anguish I may find something better than relief...
To feel it all with the burning realization
That there was nothing ever there.

I'm so sorry baby
It's not your fault
Mommy's just sad
I'm so sorry baby
I tried to keep it in
I tried to hide it
But it hurts so badly
Don't be sad please
Mommy needs your smile
I know you're scared
I didn't mean to yell
You're the only thing I love
But right now I hurt like hell
Please baby try
To understand
Mommy needs a minute
My strength has depleted
My will has all but left
I'm holding on for you
I'd never tell you that
A selfish heavy burden
But you're all that I have left
Please be patient with my tears
Mommy will be ok soon
We'll read a bedtime story
And gaze up at the moon
Things will be fine again tomorrow
With a little sleepless rest
To ease some of the sorrow
So I can be your mom again

I can feel my soul awakening
Bursting new life like the budding trees in spring
Anxious to grow again
For it was dormant in the desolate winter of my dark past
Hiding within this shell of a body
Almost lifeless
But I can feel it now
The warmth of the sun kisses my skin
With a promise of a new beginning
Caressing my bones with a reminder that I have withstood the blizzards of time
Though, Not unscathed
I must push forth and regrow the life I once knew
All with the knowledge of what the darkness holds
And I can feel it
This time I will bloom with a fierceness of life in all of its beautiful glory.

The perpetual longing for this desire I can't quite put into words has washed over me like a subtle wave. Drowning me with this agonizing emotion which cannot be quelled. This empty void that plagues me like an unquenchable thirst. I'm not sure I could fill it, even if knew exactly what "it" was to begin with.

There was a heavy sadness in her eyes, as if a decade of lonely nights took refuge in her tiny frame. She carried it well. The pain. She had grown numb to it, the blows only stung at first until the waves of agony rippled out into her tranquil lake of despair. Perhaps it was more of a friend to her, for it was the only one who was always there. The pain was loyal. The only one that never left. If not for it, how would she know she even existed? What would there even be besides a void? Nothingness. Perhaps she needed the pain, which is just as well because it certainly wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It had moved in long ago. Long before it was even welcome. A permanent resident. A fixture. Embedded into her very existence. No, it wasn’t leaving, it would be there always.

21 days
They say for the end of withdrawals
And it's out of your system
But my mind didn't listen
Because it's still enthralled

21 days
In ways I wish you were a drug
To explain this craving
I surely need saving
From the hole that I've dug

21 days
In a haze searching for a cure
Your infection is spreading
Tears over my bedding
How much more can I endure?

21 days
Here I lay still thinking about you
I must confess
I'm still a mess
But I'm starting to pull through

21 days
It pays to find someone new
When I heard his voice
My new drug of choice
To get me over you.