The wise are always troubled
And the troubled seldom sleep.
For the path is dark,
The shadow's deep.
The past imparts pressure,
Weary woe-marked feet.

The pillow lays drenched.
Sweat beads billow flames of fear.
The sound of all our choices
Rung clear for all to hear.
The cries of countless voices
Found close to passing ears
But ghosts weep most in whispers,
Lest the living hear their tears.

On a quest to lose myself
In a wilderness of disbelief
An unknown path to nowhere
Stumbling on the hidden roots
I was brought to my knees

Before a boiling frustration
and held back tears could overwhelm
the forest tendrils tended to me
A blanket of foliage became a womb
As a child, I returned to her

Standing what seemed forever
Above the canopies of trees
Lay a trunk of stone, worn
The marvel was magic
A fallen oak, which was life

The barren love, was feint
And she was still dying
Tending to her children
Even on the brink of extinction
We cried and I woke up.

Succumb to my hilarity
Sad sights and lack of solidarity
Wondering how and never reaching clarity
Seeing people live to thirty in my mind is a rarity

That's fine I like being rare
I want to live to thirty just to see if I'll care
Have a few kids and teach them how to share
Watching them on the playground
And see their jeans tear
They'll grow up and ding-ding-ditch on a dare

Succumb to my art
Pouring out my heart

Cutting my wrists to paint on war
Setting a bad example by robbing a store
Get a little money and use it to feed the poor
Get looked down upon and your heart is tore

I hate myself and I break the mirror
Driving home at 80 and hitting a deer
Eyes closed, hands up, refusing to steer
Weaving on the road without any beer

I love you all
There's a note in my pocket
I love you all
Arms pulled out of socket
I love you all
Staring at the locket
I love you all
Thinking about a rocket

Clock me out
I'm tired of working
I hate the glare off your watch
Can't see, pupils are tight
Keep breathing, don't cry
Edge off the bridge
I'm fine
Legs dangling over water
Blindfold on

Wind from the city
Tired of sitting
Leaping off to sunset
Love in my heart
Heart in the water
Water in my lungs

everyone speaks of going to heaven
"may his soul rest in peace"
acting as if they don't realize
he chose this for himself
conciously decided to take his life
he did not grow wings and fly away
his coffin is not empty
it has a body
and that body has rope marks
around the neck
his hands are cold
his eyes are shut
his organs are slowly rotting away
it is not beautiful
he is not an angel
he is the dead remains
of what once was
and all those saying
"he is in a better place"
have absolutely no proof of their statement
and neither did he,
all he knew was
that no matter what awaited him in the afterlife,
it could be no worse than the life he was living right now
it was not an accident
he did not fall,
he jumped
he chose to die
he chose to die this way
because the pain of death
& the pain of the dead
was nothing in comparison to the pain of life & the living
because it was easier
to hang himself from the hook on the ceiling
than to wake up the next morning
and look at himself in the mirror
he could not run from life
unless he was running towards death
so he chose
to win the race
first place
*once and for all

No weakness tonight -
I tremble and ache
and doubt has colonized my veins...
But loneliness and heartbreak
will not be my bed mates.
I will sleep with dry eyes,
knees far from my chest.
Tonight I will rest.
Tonight I went on a date
with the moon.
I told her about you.
I started to say that
you shine like she does
but before I finished the thought
I knew I was wrong.
I will not write a line
saying you are my moon.
But for you, I burn,
And when I'm with you
I am full.
And when you're gone
the moon is full.
"There is no time for weakness,"
she tells me,
"Be full."

I have destroyed a beautiful soul
in  the midst of the fog
I reached out
with my tainted hands
and touched its purity
consumed by my own selfishness
I pulled it down with me
my demons became his demons
only now
when the seal was broken
and I clearly see
my fault and sin
burning in the perpetual loop of my memories
It had to be done
For you would never have known
and now you do
for the pain and realisation
forgive me
forgive me
forgive me