I got a letter from the government
A week back, Tuesday morning
It came in a grey envelope
It was stamped with a red warning

The envelope was tattered
And the words were inked in red
To be opened by recipient
That was all it said

I checked the name typed on there
It was mine, so I could see
John Augustus Reed
Beale Street, Unit 43

I opened it and sat right down
I had been drafted so it said
I had to report on Thursday
I heard a ringing in my head

I didn't understand it all
To me it made no sense
This plain grey mottled envelope
Sent from my government

I followed the instructions
And showed up promptly at the place
Something was asunder
I could tell from the man's face

I showed him my draft letter
Explained, I didn't understand
He looked at it and laughed a bit
This wasn't what I'd planned

He said son, is this you
Are you John Augustus Reed
I told him I'm John Junior
He said that's all the news I need

This letter is a glitch, boy
It wasn't meant for you
It was sent out to your father
Back in nineteen seventy two

Somehow it was mangled
Got lost along the way
Until somebody found it
And you got it on that day

I'm glad you chose to come here
Showed up exactly when it said
But, I think you now can go on home
I think it's best, instead

It's amazing how one letter
And you can take this to the bank
Can fill a man with honor
For that I must give thanks.

Innocence is the days when
I thought that monsters
lived under the bed rather
than slept right beside me.

It was the times I feared
heights almost as much as
I now fear brooding stares.

Back when I thought
passionate love was the
only kind worth having
— that I now wish for a
lover who loves quietly.

Innocence was thinking
danger was an ill-advised
adventure, not a man.

It was admiring a tornado
heart and not realizing the
damage it would cause.

as the reflection of the trees roll off the
shined roof of the hearse I follow to the
cemetery, my mind becomes scattered
with the thoughts of our last moments.

a face so sodden,
her hand to mine, my body seized with
a contemptuous blanket of emotional
disdain. a person I loved, a person I
trusted, snatched out of my life as
fast as she changed it.
her barren body clinging on to life sent
chills up the very arms latching on
to the hospital bed, shaking, with
the thought of denial ruining every
hopeful aspect of my mind.
this
can’t
be
happening.
I stare at her urn, sitting atop her
now entirety; the quiet whispers of
the funeral priest echo about the
walls in my mind, everything is silent,
white noise consumes my thoughts,
I’m shutting down, the ringing in my
ears is slowly overtaking the cries
of the siblings, the mothers, the fathers,
the cousins, and all of the friends who’s lives she’s
truly impacted. my eyelids bare weight,
my sight is becoming dull, and the tears
are building up as the content sobs are
becoming more and more copious with
each sympathetic clutch on my shoulder.
I say my final goodbyes as we make our
way out. I whisper reverence
“I love you”
as a blind man
attempting to feel colours
i touch your urn,
that’s all I can
say for what you’ve done for me and how
you gave perspective to tunnelled vision.
the cars weep in unison departing the cemetery
with the trees spinning the roofs
after 11 shots of whiskey
and with that comes a habituated
sadness.

I slip into bed, knowing that 5 miles away
there will be an empty left bedside next to a
man whose life revolved around her, a lonely
man, a broken man. a pillow she laid her
head on not 24 hours prior, the scent of her
body; still embedded in the sheets he now
uses to wipe aside his tears,
statin sheets
enticing the walls
inward

why you?
why not me?
thoughts of abstract
painted to a pillow
eight hours i’ll lay my head stagnant;
sleep not
to the morrow i awake
and you nevermore

paradise may you rest

Happiness is a dream
Of which I have not slept
There are only flashes of terror
When I lay down my head
My pulse begins to quicken
My heart slams in my chest
The nightmares tear me open
And rip me from my rest

First there comes the cold sweats
Followed by the screaming
I then choke on hysteria
With it’s invisible meaning
I claw from the back of my mind
Into the darkness of my room
But no one is there to numb the pain
That comes out with the moon

So even after my eyes open
The nightmares do not leave
The demons become more vivid
And they feast off of me
Sipping first at my black tar blood
For dessert, they save my soul
And with my tears I beg to them
If you take me, take me whole

Heal my heart heal my soul
Let your spirit take control of what little there is left of me
Heal my heart heal my soul
Set me free from the strong tethers that bind me
Heal my heart heal my soul
Help me fly span the skies that beckon to me
Heal my heart heal my soul
Guide me to a land where freedom awaits me
Heal my heart heal my soul
Together let us take control of our destiny
Let us walk holding hands
Into a world that understands
Peace and harmony

I love life the way it should be
Where we all have a soul mate
Where when we're born we see in color
Until our other's fate

But for me it's quite the opposite
I've never seen color a day in my life
All shades and highlights and different tones
Of the same old black and white 

Eventually I somehow came to terms
I accepted my colorless scheme 
So you can imagine how startled I was
When my reality took after my dream

I opened eyes to meet light shades of morning
To instead have them flooded with ***
I was bombarded by all of these new tints and tones
I couldn't ever select a choice one

Though after the initial shock of it all
I was startled once again more
With the realization that I finally found you
The someone meant to color my world

Time is such a treasure 
That's quicker lost than found
And when it's gone you search again
For whatever's left around

A second seems like nothing 
When you have plenty to spare 
You never learn to value them
Until they just aren't there

A minute isn't that much more
So you toss them left and right 
And then you're scrambling to find
Enough for one more night 

An hour can be wasted 
As easily as breath or speech 
But when you have to count them down
You learn to make the most of each 

In the end I find it easier 
To always value time 
To cherish every single second 
Of every moment that you're mine