Hot summer breeze,
long sleeves, and
scars you cannot see

Anxiety wraps
itself around me,

like a coat that
doesn’t fit me

like a lover that
doesn’t love me

like a fire that
doesn’t warm me

Do you enjoy the light I cast upon your shadow?

Or do you slip ever so slightly further into the dark?

Come sit among my angels

While I battle your demons.

Come into the light

And let me show you Heaven on Earth.

And what does it mean when the rush of the fall comes with the acceptance that you could - and probably will - crash, but you leap regardless?

And what does it mean when her silence is the second loudest sound after your heartbeat?

And what does it mean when you realize you've never dreamt of having one?

And what does it mean when you have the same dream again and again with different faces?

And what does it mean when her face is the form, and the form is the dream?

And what does it mean when you realize hers is just the latest to fill the form?

And what does it mean when you wish the hurt of the dream over the truth of the day?

things are looking up
things are getting brighter
things are getting warmer

hope is not only an idea
it is active
it is optimistic
it is stunning
it is eyeopening
it is life changing

self improvement starts small
baby steps every day
self love isn't self centered
self care isn't selfish
self image isn't vain

my heart has been opened
my mind has been cleared
i am starting to understand
happiness is beautiful
and it is real for everyone

Here I am waiting.
Waiting for Christmas break,
waiting for peace and happiness,
waiting for relaxation,
waiting for time with friends and family.
It will definitely be worth the wait.

I just... I just...
I just wanna lie in bed...
Take some more pills...
Take several more pills...
Until I drift back to sleep
Away from life
To be suspended in the unconscious
To forget
To flee
To escape