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Oct 2015 · 447
& You Are
irsorai Oct 2015
You Are.
You are that strength
That strength who refuses
Who refuses to stop
To stop fighting
Fighting for who you are
Who you are in that moment
In that moment that everything falls
Everything falls and it stakes
It shakes the barriers
The barriers that holds us
But
You are.
You are the morning shine
The morning shine, the smile
The smile who brought us
Who brought us infinite conversations
Infinite conversations about the sky
About the sky and their interminably stars
And their interminable stars shine above us tonight
Shine above us tonight as you've guide them to me
As you've guide them to me I'll bring them back to you
& You Are
You are strength and morning shine.

You are. *You are.
Copyright © irsorai
19/10/2015
Oct 2015 · 656
A & D
irsorai Oct 2015
Living with anxiety
And depression,
It's feeling too much
And nothing at all.
Which means feeling
Like you can never win.

But you can.
And you will.
**You're not alone!
Copyright © irsorai
16/10/2015
Oct 2015 · 482
All You've Ever Been
irsorai Oct 2015
You sit and wait.
You wait for something.
Something else to awake you.
To awake you inside.

You wait and sit.
You sit for anything.
Anything to incite you.
To incite you to get up.

You're there and here,
Here and there.
You want to be full,
or empty at best.

You start to pray,
even though you don't believe.
At some point,
You believe that you believe.

You're a mess,
A mess in this place.
But in the end,
You're all you've ever been.
Copyright © irsorai
16/10/2015
Oct 2015 · 356
21st Century
irsorai Oct 2015
His name was Jack,
He dreamt of a farm
And a boy named Ennis.

Together they would grow old,
Sharing stories of love and happiness.
But destiny had something else in mind.

Love was a motion they couldn't run from,
But the world wasn't prepared for true love
Regardless from where it came.

Sad is to know that even though this story is fiction,
It has happened to so many
JACKS and ENNIS.

I hope to live in a century
That's more accepting of love and compassion.
So Ennis and Jack can be who they want to be.

Let me love who I want,
So I can truly love myself.

It's not a matter of not caring
What other people say,
It's a matter of freedom and respect.

Love yourself;
Love who you want to;
Respect everyone.
Copyright © irsorai
8/10/2015
Oct 2015 · 451
Untitled #2
irsorai Oct 2015
Nothing is real.
Nothing is attacking me.
Everything is attacking me.
Copyright © irsorai
3/10/2015
Sep 2015 · 556
I can't sleep
irsorai Sep 2015
The nerves of the unknown
Terrifies me,
Controls me.

My heads a million miles away,
Over thinking the billion impossible ways
It can go.

The future's out of my reach,
But my brain refuses to understand that.

I tell myself don't,  
But all I convey is please;

Please:
- let me say the right things at the right time;
- don't let me do weird noises while others are directly speaking to my face;
- listen to everything and don't ask repeated questions;
- control your inner shyness and don't let your awkwardness take over;
- go to sleep after you write this cause all you don't need is enormous eye bags to complete your zombie face.

I want and I need to learn how not to be always in control and be okay with it.
I've to learn how to be kinder to myself.

Thank you for reading another nervous breakout.

Always yours,
Irsorai
Copyright © irsorai
24/09/2015
Sep 2015 · 321
Tonight
irsorai Sep 2015
-

Surrounded by this lightly moon,
The stars resonate with graceness.


It doesn't matter how many times I search for the reason,
You're there as a reminder of always.

You're my always tonight,
And always!

☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆
Copyright © irsorai
24/09/2015
Sep 2015 · 837
You just want...
irsorai Sep 2015
Sometimes you just want a small hug,
a kind voice to tell you
it will all be okay
one day.

Other times you just want to kiss someone,
so hard and for so long,
that time stops and you forget
whose oxygen you're breathing.
Copyright © irsorai
21/09/2015
Sep 2015 · 531
Humanity
irsorai Sep 2015
She sat at the window sill,
dreamed of a better world,
where she wouldn't need to pretend
to dream of light
to alienate the darkness,
the screaming whispers
of broken melodies.

She sat at the window sill,
dreamed of a better humanity,
to escape the cruelty
and the unknown cries
of whom crumbled her vision.

She sat at the window sill,
and dreamed of something else but herself,
because thinking about others was easier,
felt important and unattainable.  

She sat, and she dreamed of a better self,
where she would celebrate her wins,
like she reminds her losses.

She sat at the window
and was herself.
Static and **** of mendacity,
of prejudice.

She's not broken,
But she needs guidance.

She's not weak,
But she's fragile.

She's you,
and me.

**She's humanity.
Copyright © irsorai
21/09/2015
Sep 2015 · 626
Hope
irsorai Sep 2015
The oddity of the remained silence,
wrecks your walls and scrambles your thoughts.

In a cold misfit hope, entangled in raw truth,
He dreams of paradise.
Copyright © irsorai
4/09/2015

(A work in progress, maybe. Just felt like writing those verses. I like it!)
Aug 2015 · 605
Anxiety
irsorai Aug 2015
It's not pretty.
It's not pleasant.
It's not ******* hip.

It runs through your body
while your mind is still processing what's happening.
You feel like you're going to die.

You can't breathe.
You can't think.
You can't control your body.

And you just wanna scream,
Only you can't.

And tears fall from your face
like raindrops on a crispy morning.
While you gasp for air,
you only wish you'd be normal.

Stop making it "cool"!
It isn't cool!

This isn't something you wish upon a star,
This is something you've to learn how to deal with,
Or you'll let your life be consumed by uncontrollable fear,
Of never having control over your mind and body.

If you knew how it felt to go through life,
And never knowing if you're going to allow yourself
To live in the moment, to enjoy the present,
Without worrying about the future or the past.
You'd not wish to have this disease!

Stop! Stop making this disease a fashion choice,
It's not a ******* choice!
It's something you're forced to live with!
Copyright © irsorai
7pm - 31/08/2015
Aug 2015 · 2.6k
One day
irsorai Aug 2015
I wish I knew how I felt,
but I don't.

I'm getting more and more numb,
that's not good,
that's never good.

I don't want to get erratic
and paranoid.
I don't need to feel this broken.
It's not broken.
I'm not broken.

Why?

I can't understand.
Inside myself I'm at war,
a war I don't control.
I don't know what I'm fighting for,
I only know I'm battling against myself.

But why?

I can only ask that.
Maybe if I knew where to go and find myself,
all the pieces that I've never meet.
But I don't know where to start and I'm still.
And I don't care,
I really don't because if I did I would do something,
but I don't.

I sit here and I wait,
I wait for it to go away.
And another day is born, so I can pretend everything's alright,
night arrives and all demons come out to play.
It’s all my fault.

Why do I do this?

I do it to myself and it's real.
It's not in my head anymore,
it's everywhere.
Encrypted in disastrous hellos
and peaceful goodbyes.
They are everywhere.

One day I'll have to face it all,
I won't have anywhere to run, it will either
**** me or make me.
Copyright © irsorai
2014
Aug 2015 · 707
Bravery
irsorai Aug 2015
When you feel the world crushing down
and you just want to check out,
define gravity!

Clench fists and held your head up high,
you're the son of the despair ready to get it right.

Your heart might be broken by impossible heartaches
but your spirit takes you and leads you to the unbreakable.

You're not a hero because you're perfect,
you're a hero because you're human.
A great righteous one,
not with the best decisions
but with the best intentions.

To many,
heartaches are the end of them,
their legacy.

To you?
Heartaches are the beginning of your existence,
the legacy starts within you!

Don't ever change,
don't ever give up.

Be brave and courageous at heart,
wild and unique at soul.

You're a force to be reckon with!
Copyright © irsorai
Aug 2015 · 1.8k
Not the End
irsorai Aug 2015
It's okay little brother,
I'll protect you
from yourself.

I'll protect you
from the world.

I would die for you.

I would die for you
a thousand times.

You’re not alone,
I’m right here with you.

This is
not the end,
*not the end.
Copyright © irsorai
Aug 2015 · 721
It's so hard to breathe
irsorai Aug 2015
When words aren't enough
you breathe out feelings that you'd never dare to speak,
but no one understands;
no one listens;
no one ******* cares.

And you're left there, holding on to every breath;
heavy chest and stuck tears in broken hollows.
You beg to be found when you know you don't want to be found.

Despair,
despair between your dry mouth and strong fists,
it's in your veins,
it's all over you.
You cry and you shout,
but in fact you make no sound.

And you're left there, misunderstood and cold;
broken and untouched against strange walls.
You beg to be left alone when you aren't being bothered.

Paranoia,
paranoia in your head
and it's everywhere.

No,
please,
leave me alone.
Just,
please,
hold me.

Demons,
I'm battling my demons tonight.
Copyright © irsorai
2014
Aug 2015 · 710
Answers
irsorai Aug 2015
Do you ever have your heart so full of sorrow
that you cannot feel anything?
You are numb, you're not sure of what's happening.
Deep breathes and clenched jaw.
You remain with a soft expression
but inside you're on ruins.
What do I do?
I'm a restless soul inside a troubling vision.
Where do I start?
I don't know where I went wrong,
besides the constant denial and self-loathing.
Can I be saved?
I'm in love with a version of myself,
one I can't achieve.

Let me rest,
let me close my eyes
and dream of what once were my dreams.
Copyright © irsorai
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
Respect
irsorai Aug 2015
People do not
exist
to complete you.

Their pain is not beautiful or romantic.
Their emotions are neither shallow nor too mysterious to understand.
Yes: they might be overwhelmed, under-prepared, broken.
But stooping to pick up the pieces and fit them back together doesn't provide you with any ownership of whatever it is you've made.

And if you step back and realize that
what you've built isn't what you think it should be,
then find a way to respect them for who they are.
And do it without any preconceptions about
obligatory desire or mandatory love.
Copyright © irsorai
Aug 2015 · 378
Melodrama #282779299
irsorai Aug 2015
Such a motionless feeling to the beating rumble of my heart.
There’s a cruel way for how the wind is billowing tonight,
it whistles,
it crumbles all the barriers between then and now.
I wish I could tell you how much it beats out of pace when I think about you.
But there’s nothing there,
there’s nothing strong enough that holds you there,
it’s ruined,
you ruined it.

You took everything with you;
the memories, the good and bad;
the stolen smiles, between hugs and talks;
you took me, a part of me I don’t remember anymore.
You took my innocence,
you took my pureness.

I don’t hate you because I don’t feel for you,
in me,
you do not exist,
you’re nothing.

You’re… you… aren’t.
Copyright © irsorai
irsorai Aug 2015
Fear. For once, I’ll try and live despise the fear.
See you, run to you, hold your hand and tell you I’m there,
fully there, not a self made prototype that faces behind my true self.

Love. For once, I’ll try and face what I feel.
Let it drive me and move me to be honest not only with myself but with you.
I don’t know what I feel, but I’ll tell you that.

Anger. For once, I’ll try and let it corrupt my body until I finally speak thought the hate I feel for me,
how much I don’t, for you.

Can I? Will I? I don’t think I’ll…
Copyright © irsorai
irsorai Aug 2015
A broken man looking for a fight in a faithful place.
He's unknown, uneasy, unworthy and unfit.
He claims revenge to a stranger locked inside himself.

He sees red, he feels red, he's red.

Guided by rage there's no place to hide.
There's no hope in the conflicted emotions floating upon his heart.
He's a soldier at war with himself.

He sees red, he feels red, he's red.

There's no giving up when there's no getting up.
The broken reflection of a stranger motion.
He's never been more like himself when he's doubting himself.

He sees red, he feels red, he's red.

Shallow words, defined actions.
Quiet, impatient, there, waiting.
He's destroying himself.

He sees red, he feels red, he's red.

Dean Winchester,
locked in himself;
at war with himself;
doubting himself;
destroying himself.

He sees red, he feels red, he’s red.
Copyright © irsorai

(This poem was inspired on the character of Dean Winchester from Supernatural. No money is being made from this poem. No copyright infringement is intended. There's no doubt he's one of my main inspirations, cause unfortunately, we are alike when it comes to how we process our feelings. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing though.)
Aug 2015 · 576
A Man on a Ledge
irsorai Aug 2015
Don’t you ever get tired of being defensive,
on guard,
on the waiting call to strike back and move forward?
Don’t you ever feel restless for a minute of peace in the world,
in yourself?

Another empty whisky bottle lays at the end of that table
and still there’s no hope to be found.

You fight to hold on,
you fight to stay strong.

Finger on the gun,
you’re not going home today.

The fight’s not done,
the war ain’t won.

A man on a ledge, ready to jump.
Copyright © irsorai
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
Love Yourself
irsorai Aug 2015
We strive to be desired,
forgiven,
beloved,
but when someones tries to give us,
shows us that we are worth all of that,
we back down,
we run away,
because we don’t know how to desire,
to forgive and love ourselves.
Copyright © irsorai
2014
Aug 2015 · 4.5k
Reality vs Illusion
irsorai Aug 2015
I live constantly between reality and Illusion.
I don’t know where ends or begins the other.
What’s reality? Isn't illusion part of reality?
Or is reality part of illusion? But what’s illusion after all?

Between thin lines,
I see the shore of those broken ideas.
Along the springs of my heart,
I see flows against tides.

Where do I belong?
What do I seek?
It is me or does everything seem blurry?
I am a capital energy of this passivity place.

I am real. Am I?
Copyright © irsorai
Jul 2015 · 471
Untitled #1
irsorai Jul 2015
I'm laying still,
but I'm getting ill.

making you apart,
gives me pain.

keeping you inside,
leaves me kind.

Laying still,
it got me ill.
Copyright © irsorai

— The End —