i'm so afraid that
you do not think about me
as much as i you.

I don't know what it is,
But something's missing
Something's missing from me
And I think that's you.

I feel like a defective doll
One that won't operate without being tuned
One that won't laugh
Without unless you put in a battery
I'm like a mute that won't sing
Unless given a tune.

And that tune, and that battery,
They're you.
And I miss the day we spent basically the whole day together
I miss your presence
& I can't help but feeling
Defective without you.

today is sixty paces south of heaven
reaching skyward.
here is dust in my lungs
and earth on my tongue
and half a hallelujah
strangled somewhere in my throat.
here is the ghost of every god
i ever believed in.

i fill my mouth with
promises and dirt
so there is no space left for poison.
there is no space left for anything,
but some days even breathing is a chore and
staying alive is the best i can do.
today i choke the gravel down with water because
today i can do better.

today is sixty paces south of heaven
and the stars are only glitter
and every lie i ever told curls up through thick summer air
and dissipates like smoke.
here are outstretched arms
and ***** fingers,
and here, slithering through the tall grass,
is a soft unknown that feels an awful lot like
hope.

Perish the thought of guilt
for I love you and
I expect nothing

My dear, I love you not
for what you have done
not for what you will be
but for who you are

Perish the thought of guilt*
for I do not regret a single day
that I am in love with you

Writing poetry at midnight because I can't fathom the thought of losing you.
Somehow I hope you find this and read all my words unspoken.

We are together, yet we are not meant to be together.
I am terrified of hurting you more than I can love you. Your happiness is all that matters to me and I hate the fact I am giving you sad happiness, I can never give you joy without the pain.
You don't deserve that.
We love each other so much that it is dangerous, it's toxic love. The type of love that we both know isn't right, yet we carry on drowning in it anyway.

Stranger things have happened
Than what you’re about to hear
So I swear that this is all the truth
And it happened close by here
A young girl lost her way one night
She was working midnight shift
When a stranger saw her wandering
And he offered her a lift.
She was trusting and she climbed right in
To the black sedan he drove.
He asked where she was headed
She replied, “To Shelter Grove.”
The driver said, “I’ll take you there.
Just tell me where to go.”
She said, “Around the corner, there’s a hidden drive,
You’ll want to take it slow.
There’s a gate, but it will open, and
A clearing just ahead.
There’s a gravestone with your name on it.
I’m afraid, Sir, you are dead.”

The driver turned and stared at her
She stared back with evil grin
He was terrified but didn’t know
The danger he was in.
He reached out to grab her slender arm
But he closed his fist on air
Somehow she had vanished
She simply wasn’t there.
Now his heart was pounding loudly
He could hardly drive the car,
He used his phone to call his wife who said,
“We’re all wondering where you are!
You see your brother called an hour ago
Your father passed today
They said that he was sleeping when
The angels carried him away.
Your family signed the papers, and
He’s at the funeral home
I never heard of it before,
Some place called Shelter Grove.”

That night I had an awful dream
The wandering girl’s to blame,
She said, “I was sent to take your father,
But I mixed up the name.”  
Phil Lindsey  6/5/15

She fell in love.
not because of the words or gifts.
she fell in love with the way he would breathe.
She fell in love with those beautiful brown eyes.
she fell in love with the way she could look into them all day and still be intrigued.
She fell in love with the way that he held her.
she fell in love with the way that his lips felt pressed against hers.
she fell in love with the way that he carried himself.
She fell in love with his passion.
She fell in love with the way he looked at her.
she fell in love with his beautiful smile.
she fell in love with his laugh.
She fell in love with the way he cared for everyone.
She fell in love with the way he made her feel.
she fell in love and prayed for forever.

I would bleed every pen dry
The sun right out of the sky
The truth out of every lie
In a bid to list
all the reasons why
I love you

Let's speak about love and how much I love. I've watched my pen bleed out slowly for these words I've written that some have read. Only seem to trend when I speak about love.
Was told my poems are no good because they don't rhyme. Foolish guy wouldn't understand the essence of each line. Wouldn't understand that nothing is sweet just sour like lime. That my worst poems were the best in my mind. You still believe I can't make a poem rhyme? When you read this guess you'll be surprised. just to make it clear I probably read more books in my childhood than you'll read in you lifetime. Is easy to rhyme.
Said I couldn't have a 10 word scheme.
So here is one.
"*******" times five lines.
Said I speak to much about the hood I speak to much about drugs.
I don't need for you to understand I'm far away from the sunny side.
I live on Broadway never river side. From the city that doesn't sleep to the city that doesn't speak. I can tell you how to take ******* and make it sweet as sugar cane with water and baking soda.
Love love love as I tortured my pen.
I've watched my pen bleed out slowly for these words I've written that some have read. .
Why I speak about the ghetto?
Everyone poem that I've read has been about love that is far from the streets I grew up in. Every line coincides with the previous one. Love love love
I love my brother who brought me a slice when I didn't have to eat. Now I'm grown no more fasting for me. No trial he just took it 5 years later went from a blackberry to the iPhone 6. Six months in a halfway house now he's free.
I do more than speak about the hood and drugs.
Don't take it at face value if you don't know how much it cost me and the family.
I'm making it college degree and all.
I'm glad I don't trend
I'm glad some don't understand
I can speak about love though all my relationships have fallen and crumbled to the ground like the twin towers. And if that offends you then skip the line and read the next one
I can speak about love though all my relationships have fallen and crumbled to the ground like the Berlin Wall on November ninth of eighty nine. Love love love. This is my poetry and history is mine.
Love love love.