They called me their friend
but then left me when they felt bored
when they couldn't use me
they stopped pretending

I was dispensable
I was unimportant

and that hurt more than I thought it could
I am fragile you see made of glass
I put my heart in each persons hand
I give them my all
because I don't half *** friendship
I took a risk
And it hurt me in the end
they hurt me
because they couldn't balance
my heart in their life
and it shattered on the floor
And they didn't care to pick up the pieces

I get embarrassed when you read my poems
And you know they're about you.
I get shy and nervous and scared you'll run away.
I don't have the words to say
How much I love you
But I try when I write to you
Things I think you'll never read
And then you see them and my head spins.

Is it too much? Can you love someone too much?
Is my love intimidating? Probably.
There's a lot of it to give.
But if it's intimidating to you then maybe
You don't deserve it.
Maybe

Are you overwhelmed by your love for me, too?

I asked myself
what is your biggest fear?
I heard myself reply
my biggest fear is
to be deeply known
but not loved deeply

I thought
I was an angel
floating above
but gravity was no friend to me
and my wings were merely an illusion
the cold hard ground below me
unforgiving skies above
I was not treasured
by anyone

I feel lost
I feel alone
Like I am standing in the middle of an intersection
With no idea of where to go
No knowledge of where I was going
Or where I came from
No street signs
No map
Confused
And lost
No way to tell
which way is home
A shot in the dark
is my only hope

Sometimes my mind is a broken record
My thoughts stuck on repeat
I've been trying to fix it
unstick it
bring it back
to playing music
glorious symphonies
but usually it just takes time
and in that wait
I must listen
to the pain
of my yesterdays
over and over
screaming for help
and I know that that pain is over
but it is the only thing I can hear
it becomes so real