I ask you, God, to never let me know
the dark side of myself again, like I once did.
Before I knew who You were God,
I didn't know who I was.
I didn't know what love meant.
Having everyone who ever said, "I love you"
leaving me, like a tornado leaves behind a building,
all of its metal more
jagged and sharply bent.
But I know, my God, Your beauty now
and I can discern why
I had to be so sharp,
so hard at heart.
Because had You given me
all the wonders I behold now,
I wouldn't have known
the first thing about
what to do with my part.
I wouldn't have searched the world so hard
for such a great love, I would have
stopped short in seeking Your heart.
You made me into a little girl
so terribly in need of a Savior.
And I searched
the whole world,
tasting this, trying that...
but never ending up
truly in love with the flavor.
My God, You loved me so much
Your only son died.
And I cried my eyes out
thinking,"Why did I
have to go through so much?"
My God, forgive me of my pride
and my misplaced anger. That just as
you held Jesus, while a spear pierced His side
I was never in any real danger.
You had already decided He would die
when He first lied upon the manager.
Just like I had decided I would
try and do anything
to feel anything
even if it was
**uncontrollable anger.
Reflections with God
in the Light of the morning.