the world is shrinking around me
or am I too big for my body ?
the heart throbbing off beat
the little hand shaking out of sync
emotions screeching down the throat
only the constant drone of my fears
endlessly ringing in my ears
drowning in my own tears
Oh I wished I hadn’t cried this much

I’ve spent a lot of time craving for someone. I wanted a presence to reassure me when I fell asleep. I wanted eyes that said « you’re beautiful ». I wanted a smile every time I felt happy and sometimes when I felt sad too. I wanted hands to wipe my tears when I’m done crying. I wanted a voice to tell me « I love you » and « I believe in you ».
I need someone that will care and take care of me unconditionally. I want someone who will love me now and forever.

And I realised that I’ll find that someone in no one else but me.

My nails are ***** but I am sovereign
I don’t have to do what I think is wrongful
kicking up my heels in the mud

I wear my crown around my thigh
a victory belt suspended right above my knee
head held up high
above the assembly

I used to hate falling asleep because I was scared of the monster under my bed,
Now I wake up anxious because the monsters are inside my head.

The last words we shared are still saved on my phone
We were miles apart, far from the eyes but close at heart
But now we are in a different time zone

I’m lost in the night and you’re bathing in sunlight
I can hear your breath but you’re oblivious to my death

All you know is success, you don’t worry
What could be the aftermath, if you’re in the right path

And I’m ashamed of my being, I’m not my usual self but I’m trying

I blame myself but if there’s one thing that makes me angry

I’ve always been there for you and you gave up on me so easily

Dans la pâleur de l’hiver
un rayon de soleil triomphe
sur la palette de la
saison froide,
couvrant ainsi les couleurs
désaturées
d’une teinte de pêche dorée

Absent-mindedly gazing at the white ceiling
More questions than answers laying up
and the blank space hopelessly looking back

Peeking through the window
a beam of light meets your eye
Its warmth bringing back up

the gold dust glittering, swirling, dancing
that makes the world go round and round
the clock, the Sun and the bend

just laying down
looking at the ceiling
your skin pressed on my palm
throwing an anchor
in the ocean of my memory
hoping the waves of time
won’t swallow it

in a bit of a mess, left out for years
what’s the point of denying it
on top of the list
I’m terrified of the piano in the attic,

black dots & lifeline on a blank sheet
music heals wounds you can see through
I wonder if I’d be alive if it wasn’t for you

Blowing the dust off my toy piano
watch your baby steps
until you make it there

forget the headache & heavy-going feeling
until you’re weightless
wandering the chords you might loose yourself

please dont make my last words turn into lies
we’ll have time to talk
i think your phone is dead
and i’m just hoping you’re not
i know you’re sorry
and i know you love me
but it’s not enough
tell me something
anything