Haley

Dec 2014

James Piccolino

HIS:

It’s 4:05 and I am broken
It hurts, oh god it hurts, it burns,
The ground is cold, why
Why can’t it be warmer, accept me
Why can’t anybody accept me
You didn't, though I thought you did
That is why I lie here
I cry now, I’ll cry for weeks
In two months time I will bring myself to call you a *****
And then I’ll cry for two hours or so
Long after I would say the worst things about you, and the worst part?
I mean every word of it

You lied all the time, but I gave you chances over and over
What a mistake
It’s because I loved you, well I thought I did
But I know now
I did everything for you, always put you before EVERYTHING
And EVERYONE
Yes I made mistakes, but for every two small mistakes I made
You made eight big ones
But I am the bad guy eh?

Yes I’m the bad guy
I say “Please don’t lie”
“I never lie to you, why do you to me?”
“Please don’t”
“Please stop cutting yourself”
But that makes me bossy?
Since when is caring bossy?
And don’t make it sound like I told you to
I never TOLD you anything
I always just told you what I thought you SHOULD do, never made you
But lie to everybody and say that I was terrible to you,
Whatever helps you sleep at night
I know the truth, and so do you, and that’s what matters

Controlling? Oh here we go
I don’t even know where you come up with this stuff
Why did I give you so many chances?
I guess all of your sob stories fooled me, like you say you fool everyone else
Like when you fooled me, said you regretted cutting that first time, November 12th
And then months later “Honestly I enjoyed it”
So tell me, who is the one who lies? Who was the terrible one?
It took me a long time to realize, it’s what you deserve
All the bad things you talked about, all of your little problems
YOU are the problem
YOU are a bad person
And to think I thought I was the ****** up one
Thought that you were the light that guided me out of that horrible place
You led me where you lead everyone else
To ruin
That is all you will ever be
Look at me, I never could say anything bad about you when we were together
Well I was under a spell of lies after all
I didnt see
But all this time after, I see what you are
A waste of time

I take back everything nice I said about you
If only I knew how false they were
Your name will always be a synonym for failure
And liar, amongst my friends and I
For it is all you will ever be remembered for
And all you deserve to be
Goodbye, You’re nobody to me
Not anymore

Oh my love, wait no, not anymore, not ever actually,
What a funny little world we lived in

Something I wrote a while ago, part of my "His and Hers" pair of poems

#breakups #malepointofview #hisandhers

Dec 2014

AJ

I Swore I'd Never Get Addicted

I remember when I first smoked.
I thought I'd be coughing for weeks,
but now I smoke a pack a day as if I can't get enough of inhaling a sickly sweet smoke into my lungs.
It reminded me of family reunions and hugs from my long dead grandparents.
I swore I'd never get addicted.

I remember when I first drank.
I attempted to drown the shot,
but it seemed like the liquid crawled back up my throat like a fire looking for a burn, but I kept going back for more.
I kept on getting burned, drowning another after another until I couldn't remember my name or the date
when in reality I was trying to forget yours and the day I met you.
I swore I'd never get addicted.

I remember the first time I cut.
Blood poured from my wrist in ribbons of red
and in a sickly way someone in me might have thought it was beautiful,
the way it fell to the bathroom floor in a
drip drip drip waterfall.
the razor cut through skin as easy as a butter knife through butter
and at first I didn't know I would love it so much.
I swore I'd never get addicted.

I remember the first day I met you.
Your brown eyes could go from happy to sad in a split second,
but the grin that formed on your face like an artist carved it on there was so contagious I found myself grinning, too.
Your hands were always cold, holding mine, touching my waist, moving my hair out of my face.
I kissed them to keep them warm.
Your kiss sent fireworks throughout my body, like it was 4th of July
and I was just a little kid screaming at the colors and the sounds as your lips explored mine, and my hands explored your body.
I could never get enough of you.
I swore I'd never get addicted.

#love #drunk #addiction #depression #relationship #breakup #selfharm #smoking

Dec 2014

Andrew Saromines

Memories

I used to find comfort in my thoughts. The ones that whispered to me, telling me that you were indeed looking at the same moon I was, letting me feel for just a moment that we were together again. I believed in the story told in the stars. The tales that danced above me, they used to give hope. They told me that I was small and my problems were smaller. They sang of how I was not alone and I believed every vile, sweet word. My blindness and your loveliness had intertwined to become my distorted view of love and ******* it if I didn’t love you with every fiber of my horrid, broken heart. But you were damaged in your own way, the crack running down your being was impossible to see. Even after I cut my lips on the edges of your broken heart while trying to kiss the hurt away I still didn’t see. Still didn’t feel. Every day the scarlet rivers they grew. I was killing myself trying to save you. Bleeding out with every kiss to your irreversibly shattered heart; your razor sharp soul. You pierced every vein, replacing me with yourself.. The most addicting drug dulling my senses. Loving you has ruined me, it’s taken from me things I miss. Like being able to see stories in the stars.. Instead I’m isolated. On a planet filled with self absorbed souls. Stupidly wandering about wondering why they’re unhappy. I’m left cynical, jaded but aware, able to see that the spark in my eyes is gone. And now when I look at the sky I hope that you aren’t looking at the same moon I see. Because such beauty shouldn’t have to feel the piercing stares that you use to give to me. Such quiet wonder shouldn’t be made to feel worthless like you made me feel. But then again, we are small.. And our problems smaller. Who am I to believe that insignificant you could ever hurt such a large moon? I don’t feel hope when I look at the sky anymore, no, I feel envy. Because they are untouched, untainted by you.. They did not change.. While I can barely recognize myself.

This isn't like my usual work but while writing it I found it to be a very important aspect to my growth so I decided to include it.

#love #heartbreak #ex #depression #hate #sadness #moon #stars #one #moving

Dec 2014

Madisen Maureen

Ugh

Your eyelashes curled, your words caught in a slur, your skirt is shorter than my shorts ever were, your tights are stuck and you're running out of luck, but so am I.

I've tried so many times that there was once that I lied and twice that I've almost died for you, you sit there in your bedroom staring up at all of the fake plastic stars on your ceiling, remind you of someone?

We used to write together and you wanted to hear my voice, but I didn't want you to. I loved you so much and I didn't have a choice, so I sang to you and my voice cracked; I was nervous. I was scared and I shouldn't have done that.

I'm getting writers block; I'm running out of ideas.
The papers are all mixed up and after all these years I'm finally giving up on you.

Your freckles were amazing, your pretty brown eyes were like chocolate, and your stupid high-top converse were so cute, but I'm moving on and yeah we use to be best friends, but I haven't seen you in forever so I'm done.

- m.s.

#ex #leave #why #you #writing #bestfriends #givingup #singing #behind #dislike