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James Piccolino Dec 2014
HIS:

It’s 4:05 and I am broken
It hurts, oh god it hurts, it burns,
The ground is cold, why
Why can’t it be warmer, accept me
Why can’t anybody accept me
You didn't, though I thought you did
That is why I lie here
I cry now, I’ll cry for weeks
In two months time I will bring myself to call you a *****
And then I’ll cry for two hours or so
Long after I would say the worst things about you, and the worst part?
I mean every word of it


You lied all the time, but I gave you chances over and over
What a mistake
It’s because I loved you, well I thought I did
But I know now
I did everything for you, always put you before EVERYTHING
And EVERYONE
Yes I made mistakes, but for every two small mistakes I made
You made eight big ones
But I am the bad guy eh?


Yes I’m the bad guy
I say “Please don’t lie”
“I never lie to you, why do you to me?”
“Please don’t”
“Please stop cutting yourself”
But that makes me bossy?
Since when is caring bossy?
And don’t make it sound like I told you to
I never TOLD you anything
I always just told you what I thought you SHOULD do, never made you
But lie to everybody and say that I was terrible to you,
Whatever helps you sleep at night
I know the truth, and so do you, and that’s what matters


Controlling? Oh here we go
I don’t even know where you come up with this stuff
Why did I give you so many chances?
I guess all of your sob stories fooled me, like you say you fool everyone else
Like when you fooled me, said you regretted cutting that first time, November 12th
And then months later “Honestly I enjoyed it”
So tell me, who is the one who lies? Who was the terrible one?
It took me a long time to realize, it’s what you deserve
All the bad things you talked about, all of your little problems
YOU are the problem
YOU are a bad person
And to think I thought I was the ****** up one
Thought that you were the light that guided me out of that horrible place
You led me where you lead everyone else
To ruin
That is all you will ever be
Look at me, I never could say anything bad about you when we were together
Well I was under a spell of lies after all
I didnt see
But all this time after, I see what you are
A waste of time


I take back everything nice I said about you
If only I knew how false they were
Your name will always be a synonym for failure
And liar, amongst my friends and I
For it is all you will ever be remembered for
And all you deserve to be
Goodbye, You’re nobody to me
Not anymore

Oh my love, wait no, not anymore, not ever actually,
What a funny little world we lived in
Something I wrote a while ago, part of my "His and Hers" pair of poems

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