free me from
lopsided dreams
dizzy and frantic
then
soft and floaty.
downside out
and
upside in.
and you,
always you,
creeping in
lingering
etched in my mind
and on my lips,
but bitter
like poison,
then honey stings.

please sing away the pain
in hushed memories
then erase it.

now
you will
burn
up in flames
and i will rise
from the ashes
with onyx wings
and soar
straight to the moon
and the stars
and the planets.
finally free.

Mama's a warden
she keeps me in line.
when i get bent out of shape
she bends me back harder
so hard that i snap
and she laughs
'cause that's what Mamas do
in the face of destruction
so i've been told

Blue,
This is the color of your eyes.

Hope,
This is what I see within them.

Black,
This is the horrible bit of hatred and sadness in the center of them.

White,
This is the color I see them swimming in.

Red,
This is the color that comes in tendrils beneath the pools of white, a sign of restlessness.

Love,
This is what I want to see in your eyes, and yet it is the only quality that I cannot find within them.

Perhaps I am a fool.

I hope I am a fool.

Change,  the toughest thing going....
Change,  the most sought after thing....

when our metal collided,
forming a beautiful mess of flames and exchanged paint,
they dragged my unrecognizable hunk of meat,
fire still dancing on my skin,
to a blinding, sterilized building smelling of alcohol and copper
usually reserved for bullets in the chest and praying mothers.

they pricked my arms and legs and chest and everywhere in between.
never was there a moment
where cool palms were not smoothing down
the few strands of hair still attached to my scalp.

howls never failed to fill the night-
every night-
and my father joined the wolf pack
once they whispered
"we have some bad news."

their methods had failed to see my body perfect again.
but what they didn't know
is that instead of dripping recycled blood
down the tubes jammed in the holes decorating my skin,
they should have poured words
in to my running river veins.