now I realize why I smoke my cigarettes
because they taste like your mouth.
the nicotine courses through my veins
reminding me of your electric touch
making my body go numb
and my mind buzz.
these thoughts I can no longer ignore while inhaling the devil smoke into my charcoal lungs.
wishing I could forget how to inhale
because it only reminds me that
every breath is closer
to my last.

The most important thing
we should realize is
I could never be me
Without you.

Is there love out there for someone like me?
As cliche as a small excerpt like this might be
I can't help but wonder
Will there ever be someone who sees me like lightening and my voice like thunder
Following you around like your own personal little cloud of rain
A muse who understands my pain
Its not easy to believe in someone
This i know
For my past endeavors have told me so
I often fantasize about it
What its like for someone to know my demons in and out
Its a double edged sword
It has to be
For another human to understand
They'd have to be as crazy as me
I want to connect on a level where our fingertips create small worlds
And our bodies create galaxies
Just by simply touching

And then there's nothing