I love the idea of smoke,
the fumes clinging to my lungs
and the exasperated gasp to regain air.

The smoke that can burn down a home,
a place filled with memories to be ruined,
ashes of forgotten darkness.

A smoke that can be a sign,
a scream for help and danger.
A reassurance to others of your struggle.

I like your smoke,
the intoxication of your breath,
mixing with mine in a moment of relief.
Before the bitter after taste of realisation.

For nothing can bring me joy,
nothing more than smoke can make me suffer.

Years now I still collect the shells of the bullets
from the gun you used to fire directly at my heart.
Wearing them around my neck,
- a reminder of how I have survived all
the breaking.

I want to drown you so I can forget your face,
Pretend like you never existed here
because being here means you are real,
and this reality has broken something I once had ,
leaving me suffocating in my own silence

For the sands of time should be non-existent
as it’s abilities cannot be changed for just one love,
a love that can be forgotten but never altered,
a desire that can never be tamed but only burn brighter

And finally comes my downfall in this bottomless pit,
where only I stand alone in regret and solitude
For the fault here is mine,
For requiring something I cannot take,
rather only something that can be given with sincerity

But to leave this with dignity is too far gone to ask,
A wish of mine that can never be realised,
a pursuit of mine that can only be a paradox
instead of a fixed truth or reality

The unknown silence is killing me.

know it or
not
are infinite
unseperable
unfathomable
from the stardust
like mass
energy gravity
can not be created
nor ever destroyed
just dust
next time
you might
be a star
or a tree
or the dirt
feeding
a beautiful
flower
it's
in you now,
look ,
look truly
around
you might
be a meteor
or part
of the backdrop
for the
greatest play
a mold spore
that might cure
pneumonia
in a gasping
child
or a cookie
a flea on back of a
galloping horse
in some future war
or a molecule
colliding with Hydrogen
to blow the world to hell
or what seems
insignificant
a dot a speck
in this grand
Universe.
But, you
are.

"shop closed"
the sign never sat
perfectly on any hook
or nook
or cranny
you are an echo bounced
perfectly in every hook
and nook
and crook

"considered sold once broken"
consider it done
once dealt with the devil
his ornamental fairies
consider them whole before
they were bought

"trespassers will be prosecuted"
bedsheets spun out of cobwebs
sandcastles spun in of air
floorboards swallow you in
you dreamt of
anchoring yourself
to the ground

"wine house"
lustre of turbulent pirouttes
trapped within the walls
of wine glasses and
wine-stained dresses
in cadavers' masquerade

"emergency only"
they pushed you in the operating theatre
and cleaned their hands with soap
opera
amputate these phantom limbs
pain has been the only anaesthesia

"in loving memory of"
he is the protagonist
he is the antagonist
and all stories end*
(with)              
                     the former

In storms
she is your anchor
In blindness
she is your sight
In sadness
she is your laughter
In darkness
she is your light
In weakness
she is your strength
In nightmares
she is your dream
In kindness
she is your weakness
At night time
she hears your screams
In low times
she is the mountain
In dry times
she is the stream
At all times
she is the rock
Never pretending to be
anything else
than what she appears
to be

Breathing is too much
for me today; maybe I’ll
stop for a minute.

I went to sleep and dreamt of a maze
At the end of it was promised to be everything I wanted
I thought it would be
Peace, optimism, and achieved goals
And it was.
Wrapped all into one boy

Let me explain something
I turned around and decided to make a home in the maze
Because I didn't deserve everything I wanted.

isn't little butterflies on my stomach,
falling for you
isn't an oasis on a barren desert,
falling for you
isn't like knowing how to breathe,
falling for you
is subjecting myself to a million drops
from a million towers,
falling for you
is letting the ocean drown me,
falling for you
is standing in the middle of a hurricane.

And that's okay.

Because,
love,
I was made for rain.