How have you managed

                                                   to break down my walls



                                 

                                   with a small plea




You have unraveled me.

at least i know
you are finally happy

i can stop thinking about you now

maybe by the morning
i will think of you one more time

and hopefully by the morning
ill forget

They say that once you hit the lowest point in your life you can only go up from there. I swear I've hit so many low points I just keep going lower and lower.

Who decided that "they" knew what "they" were talking about ? Who decides we should just listen to them?

I keep sitting here on this lonely beach imaging a better place... A better time.... But all I hear is the waves crashing against the sand. All I hear is the ocean threatening me with something unknown.

My love for nature grows dim & my fears begin to take over my body. Panic attacks and sleeping so much and so long my body can't react to being awake properly.

I used to be confident and strong.
I used to be in love with love and life.
Now I fear the unknown.
I fear being alone with my thoughts ringing so loudly in my head.

The ocean... There is an ocean inside my head. Filling my ears with water and letting my thoughts and memories drown me alive.

So when do things start looking up? Is it after I've already drowned all my happiness under the sorrow and contempt?

Stolen glimpse.
Cluttered thoughts.

Maybe this is what love is
I can't find the right words
Only my heart knows
What my mouth wants to say

Despite all your flaws and imperfections
I still wonder why they left you alone
Maybe they're not able to see the spark
Which I still cannot explain

The happiness I feel whenever I see you
The smile you put on my frowning face
The courage you give when I'm feeling afraid
The wave of emotions you make me feel when I'm with you

The roller coaster ride relationship
Even there are ups and downs
We need to hold on tight
because at the end, it's all worth it

I don't know how to end this poem
Maybe some things are better left unsaid

No.
I just want a,
coffee nor a cigarette.
And a bed to where I could stay all day,
and let myself dive into your arms.

I could use my day offs,
Just to spend more time with you, and only you.
Whose body was to be thank with.
I could stare at you,
whose, eyes are mixed with green and blue.

And kiss you,
and hug you,
and sleep with you.

But, all of this will remain as my beautiful nightmare,
For you, I was no longer a meaning.
And you just treated me as a game on truth or dare,
I'm inlove with you and I hated this feeling.


- 12102k15

You are so much to lose;
and for how I've gained
I'll accept all your burdens,
sorrow and pain;
but is it worth it for you?
with all my mistakes
I know they've caused you

melancholy and disdain.


It's mid-December,

but it feels like spring
such as the world, we are an
odd, complicated thing.


I just can't see you seeping
anything useful from me.
I am the raging forest fire that

mercilessly swept across the trees.


Lovely,

I don't mean to burn you,
I simply try to breathe


I can't help that it's within my nature
to destroy everything I meet


in time
with a heavy laden heart
my love

you'll fall to ashes at my feet.

you linger on me
my invisible friend
and keep me lonely
late at night.

remember last week
you said
we were in love
it sounded so strange
coming out of your mouth.

do you still think of me
when you're alone?
do i haunt your nights
like you haunt mine?
or am i a shadow of a memory
another girl left behind.

Do you ever say things that make you cry?
Do you listen to music that changes your life?
Do you dive deep into the depths of thought?
For a second, have you had remorse?
Have you ever decided you were wrong?
Have you changed your mind?
Are you that scared of yourself that you have blanked your own mind,
numbed your own heart for fear of what it would tell you?
Have you ever sat alone and thought about your future?
Have you ever looked at someone and told them the truth?
Have you ever walked by yourself and felt horribly lonely?
Why don't you tell someone?
Have you ever sat on a roof and watched the stars, not just for the aesthetic?
Have you ever felt in your core who you really are?
Have you ever screamed for joy?
Have you ever cried for hardly any reason?
Do you have songs that make you feel small?
Who would you live for?
Who would you die for?
Have you ever thought about that?