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He grew up lonely with his soundless shadow,
Like a star, in the middle of a far vast meadow,
A low light twinkled from his shack’s window
To tell about his sullen solemn presence,
All night, he slept, but the light remained a reference,
A deliberate language to declare his presence,
A spirit of a person in a far-off existence.
Wreathed not with the joy of a guest’s sight
Enduring his motionless future fairly light.

A roving girl saw him once, once no more,
Yet still imagined his scene every morn and night
Tempted by affection and pacified by her right,
Unexpectedly, she knocked at his ancient door,
Then left leaving a red rose on the blackened floor,
While he was in bed before the rise of an earthly sound,
‘Thank you, lover,’ cried he for the rose he found,
Then ate the petals sitting on the cold ground,
He was forever amused by their slight bitterness,
To wilt in a vase, to him, was of bitterest sadness,

Full of life, every morning, he ate an acrid flower,
On the door, he fixed a note welcoming the stranger,
whispering to himself,’ The note is much better.’
Watching all night was a desire, even more than love,
spending most of the night outdoors in cold weather,
Until the day he didn’t find his passion’s motive,
He yielded to his old life, yet so eager to live
excusing her every morning for her realistic decision after all,
He never knew what people in town did say,
About the death of a girl in pursuit of a rose,
In a wild land, she fell and fell and never rose,
For him, he regretted eating the roses, petals and soul.
I wrote a poem when I died...
Another at my birth.
A brand-new sonnet when I cried.
And again when there was mirth.

A song for my confession...
A story for my pain...
A painting for depression...
And nursery rhymes for rain.

My creations live inside my heart.
I keep them there in shame.
Yet you looked around and saw my art,
And smiled all the same.
 Aug 2018 Olivia Daniels
River
I walked to the mirror when I woke
I noticed that pieces of myself still lingered on my bed
cracked fragments of plaster made a trail behind me with my every step

I looked into that mirror
That mirror that told truths I did not want to know
It revealed a face wrought by troubles
A soul diseased with woes

This plaster was my makeshift armor
that I encased my too delicate self into
The plaster was hard and white
and just beneath it was my spirit
Still intact, though it only emitted a faint light

I can still recall a time
When I was allowed to broadcast my spirit
in all her riveting splendor
She was a kaleidoscope of lights
like the aurora borealis
dancing among the stars

But these systems and these expectations
Knotted her into limitation
Suffocating her every dream
and damning her to a life of monotony and trivilaity
Surrounding her with people
Who don't have the eyes to see
A destiny beyond their constant, choreographed agony

I quieted my mind
And pondered all these things in my heart
I took a sledge hammer
to the remaining plaster on my body
My armor broke to pieces
Strewn out on the floor, no longer serving as protection
and suffocation
I can finally breathe again.

My spirit is regaining her health
Soon she will soar
I'm stepping out on this journey
And though in leaving the past there is so much uncertainty
I think with glee:
Oh, the things this magical existence has in store!
Newscasters read the news like they don't
believe it & I'm supposed to believe them.
 Jul 2018 Olivia Daniels
em
recently
I got a little older,
learned a lesson or two,
like how loving someone
could never be as poetic
as I wanted it to.
like how nothing
would ever be as poetic
as I wanted it to.
how can I accept
that the miracle of love
isn’t really a miracle at all?
how can I wrap myself
in someone’s arms
when I know
that there isn’t any sort
of poetic loving involved?
how do I unlearn
the romantic thoughts
that taught me
about the fireworks,
the butterflies,
and the fluttering fingers
in the dark.
and accept that
maybe kissing
won’t be as spiritual as I thought.
maybe it’s really just a mouth on mine.
how do I unlearn my innocent heart
who lulled me into a false sense of hope
for a lover who would call
the way my body moves
art.
a lover who would feel
the poetry
in every word
I spoke in the dark.
I am not reading poetry.
I am cupping the words
in my hands, pouring them
over my head, rubbing them
through my skin, into my bones
breathing in
breathing out

becoming a poem
If  You have been sending
fires, floods, and mind boggling hurricanes
to get our attention -  

This morning I watched  a newscaster  holding
a screaming  baby she had just pulled from
what used to be his  home  and no one  was
coming to get him--

You have my attention.
Step out of the room and into the rain.
The sky is no longer gray,
But the cool drizzle washes me clean.
My skin is peeled away, like a snake;
Someone new,
Yet
Someone who is me, the one who's always been.
I had abandoned her.

Addiction
To what was never real.
Addiction.

I can see I lied to her, myself,
I can admit to my own illusions I was deluded to believe:

    I
       Do not need you.
                 I
                    Cannot save you.

The truth does not make me heartless.
Wash me clean and away the darkness.
I am compassion.
I am nurture.
I can be your friend,
Care from a distance while I mend,

Because I do not need you.
               We are not meant to be.

Now you'll have to save yourself.
Now I must love me.
 Jul 2018 Olivia Daniels
Lydia
One time I showed up to a bar
took all my layers off and decided to give it a try
I let loose and felt free and drowned my sorrows in dainty drinks and rap music
Feeling like a bomb shell ready to blow
I let the world get under my skin and the beat roll into my veins as I became the girl everyone wants to meet
that everyone wants to talk to
I became the girl of my dreams
swirling in drinks with tiny straws and orange juice
dancing alone but felt like the whole room was with me
time flew by
until I left and became the same old girl who walked into a bar just to give it a try
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