I've told this story 1000x (that's a lie - it just feels like it,
in truth, I just woke up, opening my eyes
as Ygor & Jack part company at the tail-end
of a clear Summer night; the traditional mists
lifting w/ a cool mountain breeze; Summer night:
this dream is an almost direct translation of my subconscious of the actual experience I had just a couple of nights ago ---):(I've got to get the mountains one day; living near the Adirondacks, I have no excuse not to--- eventually (right place at the wrong time;
right time but I must'a used the wrong line) Ygor sits
at the Bat Bar sipping a Tom Collins;
Transylvanian prostitutes & drag queens
wandering from private room to private
room - a dark man in tophat takes the stool
next to the forlorn humpback - 'U look
troubled, friend,' says the shadowy figure,
face obscured by the brim of his tall hat; Ygor,
on his third drink mutters to the stranger,
'My boss wants me to collect body parts,
don't ask me why - he's a genius but also
kind of nuts; the stranger grins: 'Body parts?'
he says, 'I can get u all u want, but they'll be female';
Ygor swills his drink & ******* an ice cube
turns to the faceless barfly; 'I don't think he cares -
male, female'; The redheaded bartender, looking
like a two-headed Barbie & speaking w/ a
Slavonic accent past pearly overhanging canines
comes to the stranger: 'What're u drinking, Jack?'
'A Rob Roy,' he says, '& another of whatever
my new friend here is drinking.' ---''Nother Tom Collins?'
'Yeh,' says Ygor (his fourth) - 'Is that ur shovel?' she asks.
Ygor says yeh & she tells him to pick it up off the floor
before someone trips: 'U won't be needing that,'
Jack tells him. 'I was going to dig up...'
'Stop right there. Don't go digging up
anything - that's a sure way to get a
bunch of angry Zombies after u...
come around to my studio
& I'll fill a sack & u can take it back to ur boss.
What parts do u need? The major internal
organs come w/ the torso, heart, lungs, intestine.
I can give u some replacements, kidneys,
bladder liver, stuff like that. I'll give u two beautiful teenage arms & legs
& a gorgeous 20-something blonde head, must've been a model
- u'll need feet.'
'Don't the legs have feet?' asked Ygor.
'Yeh, but I've got better ones to go w/
those nice legs.' - 'How much?'
'Don't sweat it. I've got plenty,' said Jack, 'I'm rich.
I don't need ur money.' - Jack pays for
their drinks & they head outside
where even more prostitutes are gathered on
on the four corners of the dark
intersection; picking up tourists,
tricking wayward husbands &
wandering college students;
'My studios is behind the alley.
Do u smoke dope?' asked Jack handing
Ygor a lit pipe; by the time Ygor left
it was hours later; Jack handing him
the heavy bag of limbs & a smaller
sack containing the pale, petite torso:
'She's got great ****,' said the fellow
who never once doffed his tophat. 'But she's no ******.'
'I don't think Doctor Frankenstein cares about chastity.'
'Then he should be happy.'
'U sure I can't give u something, eh...'
'Jack.' - 'Jack?' - 'Not a thing. Just take these
to ur boss & if he needs more,
u know where I work now. Stop by anytime.'
'Thanks, Jack. Now I've gotta trudge this stuff
up to the castle. Maybe I'll run into u again
at the bar.' - 'Sure. I'm around.
Just ask Tanya the bartender.
She knows how to get in touch w/ me.' -
'U know her well?'
Jack's grin was yellow & malicious:
'Sure, we've partied some, but she has no
circulation. I mean, she likes to **** blood &
a few other things, ( ) u know what I mean...
she's fun to spend the night w/ but I don't see
anything long-term in it & she sleeps
all day, which is good.' - 'Well, so long, Jack.
I've got to get this stuff back to the lab.
The Doc's waiting on it.'
'So long, what was it?'
'Ygor. Ygor Schwartz.'
'Jewish?' - ( ), ( ) ( )
'Reformed. Say. u wouldn't have an extra brain would u?'
'U need one? I'll swing by ur place later
& drop one off.' - 'That'd be swell. The castle ( )
( ) at the top of the hill.'
'The Frankenstein place. ( ) Got it.'