I was just guessing.
Kept on turning to the right.
But you're face and my make believe persona of you drove me to the left.
Like a drunk driver behind the wheel, I had no control.
Yet I let you still over come me.
So I found you.
I let you in.
Me, myself have lived on this hell bound planet for 22 years, and still couldn't find happiness.
Past "loves" made these fossil creatures look like peasants kissing the ground their holy queen walked on.
And I was the king.
In other words, you held that throne.
That happiness I was so thirsty for finally quenched me.
You were my absolute everything.
We moved quickly but not with a care.
Blinded though if you may, in a way.
Our family seemed unbreakable cause our contract said forever.
My first true love you were and are.
How *** was always nothing but lust, or what I thought was making love was false.
Till I stepped in you're great door.
Our eyes would lock and no one would ever find the lost key to unlock them.
It wasn't just ******* or sensation.
But making love.
The greatest vice and feeling I would ever encounter.
A year since our fairy tale ending and still I fail to experience that or anything greater, with any woman who has came my way.
From what you weren't aware of was what my previous relationship left me as.
Which was a hidden monster.
So all I knew was how to react off of emotion instead of logic.
Our different ways of life and guiding our own spawns couldn't compromise.
So we started falling apart, like a castle slowly losing it's structured bricks.
Never thought I truly live a real nightmare and knowing there was no waking up.
Reality.
The plane took me away from our departure and still I wait for a new arrival.
From what it looks like it will never happen.
All I am is set for failure and survival.
You know you were my favorite?
I wish I savored it.
Sometimes I wish I could get amnesia so it wouldn't even be memory.
But how can I?
When you was and still are my everything.

You're all I hoped.
           But tergiversate gave me this
rope.

I'm not one to move this fast,
But please just do what you can.
Just kiss away the tears
Please kiss away the pain.

i am afraid of my tongue because i do not like to break silence
but i like to describe it and i cannot do that without destroying it
/'
but i am worried
i am worried of how
how i will break it
/'
the sound of the crack of a whip
a sharp tongue licking the air
/'
an explosion of proximity
the bursting breath of approximation
/'
masticated thoughts bite loose tongues
bite your tongue bite your tongue!
/'
give it to the cat to play with
until it is dead and no longer fun

Here it is
coming together
slowly and quickly
points being connected
connections being disappointed
disappointments being appointed
appointed proportionally and
disproportionally
click clack
stick it together
vertices criss cross
bricks and feathers
interlacing lines and
concentric circles dance
in and out of time it is a
convergence
a coming together
a going apart
it is silk spun in
every way you can think of
it is spit spat from every mouth you've ever heard
this blob of tip tap gloopy gloop tick tack
criss cross criss cross make it last
make it first
on the bus or in the hearse
in between or outside of
either way it's kind of
all the same and
very different
but look at that
and then it's not
a ghost in the periphery
a shadow in the center

You made me a bitter broken soul
But my stubborn heart won't let you go