Some Fires are lit
To be Extinguished.

My sea is far away
let's meet somewhere closer
under the same cloud.

My blue water is for the sun.
I sing beneath the waves.

My rose is for the show
I am imbued in the fragrance.
Love is in the air
the scent wafts into my heart.

My sky is open wide,
beyond the rainbow on the high,
beyond the peacock's eyes.
It embraces the earth,
reaching far and wide.

As the wind blows along the way,
flying beneath the endless blue,
a mesmerising sight from the bird's-eye,
a butterfly slips out and begins to sway!

You are a stone tablet
You are a cold, washed thing
You have fear in your eyes
And the light that shines from you is cold, alone, all over

I cannot connect the things that will not be
I cannot communicate fake things
I will take communion from flowers, asking you to be the petals

We are forgetting the nature of love,
Fogetting that it is mistakes and pain that makes happiness at the end of it
That joy and suffering are karmic and designed
Do not give up on these things

When I can reach no longer for you my heart will pang
The sadness of giving up on a soul that doesn't deserve it
A wanting to give God's incarnations the love he gave me
She will not take it

I do not want these feelings to be the only thing I know, but the fear I feel with you is making it difficult

Please don't play me, I have walked a thousand lifetimes of it and I don't need any more.

thirty years, it has been
thirty years of pain
thirty years of wondering
thirty years of questioning
thirty years of not knowing
thirty years of crap
just plain old crap
the same crap
over
and over
and over
and over

thirty years

thirty years
of feeling
like
I don't
belong
belong here
belong there
belong anywhere

I'm smart, I've been told
I'm nerdy, I've been told
I have goals, I've been told
I know what I want in life, I've been told

those things I've been told
as if they are bad things
negative things
the wrong things

as if to say
"no, no, no,
you're not cool
unless you're a
lazy unmotivated
*******"

that's not me
never was me
never will be me

so to those
who told me
those things,
the hell
with them

their attitude
stinks worse
than a beer ****

she and I argued tonight
we were going out to eat
I wore black pants with white socks
she said that I looked stupid
this is how I dress, I said
you can’t go like that, she said
I can and I will, I said
we argued, argued, argued

she had enough and she left

I drank wine and ate pizza

and I wrote a few poems

one of them being this one