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photographs are a comfort
the reliving memories of
joy
sadness
accomplishments
including accidental

some can be relived more than others
and
more than often
I tired to remember your laughter,
all that was left is an impressionable smile
that hid all your numbing pain.

you left this planet and I stayed in frequent admiration of you.
What were once dreams
Unveiled to be nightmares
I can still hear their screams
I can still feel you there

Beyond the reverie
I asphyxiated
In the deep cold sea
That I created
 Feb 2023 Gracie Anne
Alaska
I still remember
the look in your eyes
when I was standing
in front of the building
crying and shaking
you came down the stairs
asking what happened
you opened the door
not letting me out of your view
together we climbed the stairs
and when we were inside
i saw that you cried
in your room
when you were alone
and suddenly i knew
nobody's perfect
*- therapists can have therapists too
 Feb 2023 Gracie Anne
Alaska
and now
my nightmares come true
and now
i'm actually losing you

thank you
for your part in my journey
i say
as a tear rolls down my cheek

thank you
for keeping up with me
when
i couldn't even stand myself

without you
i wouldn't be here anymore
without you
i wouldn't have hope anymore

but now
that you leave
i'm stuck here
trying to believe

trying to survive
Part of an imaginative good-bye letter
 Feb 2023 Gracie Anne
Jack Addler
The therapist is just
the ****** of the mind,
he wants to get inside,
wants me to confide,

but I don't,
I won't,
budge a single step.
I won't dare share

a single tear I have wept.
With your cold sterile hands
and your deathly gaze,
you will never know me
or emerge from this maze.

Perhaps he would like to get something off of his chest?
I'd start with the knife I'm going to plunge into his hideous sweater vest.
 Feb 2023 Gracie Anne
Alaska
i hope that you'll never leave
because i'm scared
to be alone with me
i know that's not how it's gonna be
but that's what happens in my dreams

i know you're only doing
what you have to do
but i'm still hoping
that sometimes you
will think of me

i know i'm only one in hundred
but you for me
are nothing i take for granted
i'm proud to be
a part of your life
and i still hope for the day
you'll recognize
it's not like i say
i need you here with me
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