Rain reminds me of you because it is reminiscent of the receptive and raw eros that engrossed my brain;
every interaction provided a drop of ransom to my heart,
which you held priso(ner-vous) hands and pituitary glands slam into the back of cabs

with such frazzled force that
they will brand their passion into passengers

who will jam their own uncontrollable acid into the same canvassed seat,

and they will rub it off on everyone they meet,

and rain will continue to fall

and I will continue to call

and every drop reminds me of you,
what you've done and what you've put me through

When I was a kid I used to play hide and seek a lot,
take it from me, the biggest tree isn't the best hiding spot.
When I was a kid I also used to smile and cry a lot,
I guess it was part of my game, disappear behind a tree,
avoid anyone who was seeking and let my brown eyes run
like the sun casting its lights over the cliff of a waterfall.

I remember the first time I had met and talked to Sarah,
she caught me playing hide and seek as I usually did.
I remember thinking it wasn't fair that she had found me
because there wasn't supposed to be anyone seeking.
She had asked me what I was doing behind the tree
before I could answer she told me to count to thirty,
so I counted. Being a kid; counting to thirty was difficult,
it was intricate enough to count to ten or even twenty
but thirty felt like an eternity to a six year old.
I told her I wasn't going to count because I couldn't
and I wouldn't satisfy the request of a complete stranger.

This was way before the stranger is danger days
where you could play in a park  with a forty-five
year old man and no one would bother wondering why
a forty-five year old man is sitting at a park.
These were the days where the dark sky doesn't signify
a time to come back inside the house but a time to explore,
explore the vast stars that sat above our heads, explore-
explore the core of the earth with a plastic sand shovel.

Sarah explained to me that I was wasting time behind the tree
that she could see in the future and that I will be happy.
I didn't believe her, I asked her how she could have known
and she told me that you reap what you have sown
and to a kid that was in itself a mystery, mainly because
I didn't know the words reap or the word sown.
Sarah was about eleven when I first met her
I've seen her a few more times since then but then
became moments gone and breezes of wind blown away.

I remember Sarah playing hide and seek with me
she said I shouldn't hide behind a tree because it's too easy-
it's too easy to find a kid hiding behind a tree,
it's too easy to see that the kid will pick a tree.
I asked her how can I do things differently,
how could I ever get my chance to win at hide and seek,
I remember the weeks followed; perfecting a strategy
of running and dodging the seeker in between trees,
interestingly enough the fact remained that I still lost.
I glossed over my different plans, wondering if I can
find a different way to win this game.
I asked her how come she could find me every time
and she'd remind me of her age, but to say that-
a tortoise is wiser than a human because of its old age
is to say that a page written a decade before
could tell of how people are feeling today.
It just wasn't the truth that remained in my brain.
I told her she was lying and that she was just trying
to hide the fact that she was cheating by not counting.

When I was a kid I used to play hide and seek a lot,
take it from me, the biggest tree isn't the best hiding spot.
When I was a kid, I would always used to cry a lot,
but as I grew up that was something I tried to stop,
and I succeeded in most instances.

Hello darkness. Dear old friend.
Sorry it's been such a long time.
I feel like we should catch up, how have you been?
In a bitter sweet way it feels great to feel and see you again.
Its quite odd actually.
The thing is I found love but it told me to get back.  
I apologize she pushed me away from you. Feeling the light again and the wholeness in my heart pushed me away.
It made me numb and shot my body down.  For some reason I just didn't feel alive though even with all the sweetness.
When the wind would blow on my face I felt nothing. Smelling the earths surroundings, soaking in its beautiful water bed, felt plain and blank.
No taste.
She took me away from you and now I'm here to make up for time lost dear old friend.
Now that you are back into my soul and that my heart is a deep abyss I now ironically feel so much more alive.
I live off this pain and use it as my tool make my art. My paint stain on a canvas of lies. My beautiful disaster of lines that I write as we speak, all came from you.
Its good to have you back buddy.
Its good to feel something again.
I promise to stay this time.

I'm a ******* in the certain way
we all mostly are
in which the pain with passion is an inseparable thing
it is left over in bite marks and scratches
the illicit passion
but also in a look
and the way the air hangs
too heavy between glances.
and wonders at failed love
in all directions
and the impossibilities the brain makes
in what cannot be known
this form is less safe
and more poison.
it's the voice that reminds
make art or die
and suggests that you intrench yourself
in solitude.
and pain.

Letting go of the mind control
On a long exhalation
And allowing your body
To merge with the forces
Of nature
To realize their true nature
To move, breathe, see all that
Was created long before
Humanity
How ******* beautiful

It's getting harder to wake up alone
I know we don't sleep so well
in each others beds
But for every moment
I wake up to you smiling at me
as you do in the morning
when the sun strike our faces
I'd give all my sleep
just to feel that precious