I woke up this morning without the scent of your coffee in the air.
I scrunched my eyes and tried to sniff,
but the scent of your body wasn't there.
I paused, then frowned, confused by the missing fragrances.
Crawling out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen,
only to find a letter full of ******* sentences.
"I'm sorry," you wrote, "I'm leaving you now."
"My heart isn't happy here, I wanted to tell you sooner but I didn't know how."
I crumpled the paper as my eyes became full,
my intentions were pure, how could I have been such a fool?
"not happy here," replayed in my brain,
surely I was going crazy, maybe this is just a game.
with blurry eyes, I walked through the house
noticing your belongings were still there.
Confused, then angry, I thought,
"Leaving reminders isn't really that fair."
Then reality set, and I remembered your struggles.
Fear came next and I was screaming at the bubbles.
There you laid,
submerged in the water
"nothappyherenothappyherenothappyhere" it wouldn't stop
replay replay replay
why won't it stop?
Your wet body in my arms, I dialed for the operator.
I knew you were too far gone but I had to try for a doctor.
How could you leave me, but how could you not?
Your mind was your monster and it grew stronger than I thought.
The EMT's came but it all stayed a blur.
White walls, white rooms, but nothing of her.
"3:42 a.m." they said,
the number of your passing.
So everyday I've sat and grieved,
questioning my actions.
You're gone and I'm alone.
Left with all these thoughts.
People have come and gone
but my demons are all I've got.
You left and I'm alone.
Losing my own battles.
I don't want to fight,
I don't want these struggles
and now I finally understand
why you chose the bubbles.