I keep one hand pressed against the ledges of my collorbones
Their solidity, my savior
The other hand
always clamped over my mouth, for I know that
When I smile
The secrets I ate as lunch will try to crawl out between my teeth

My tongue holds the truth prisoner
But I have underestimated the truth's ability to get out
Through my pencil, it sets itself free

Even my drawings do not eat enough

I erase her before anyone can see
I erase the girl sketched between those blurred graphite streaks
But I cannot erase the fact that my own bones are a comfort to me
And that, someday down this path,
I will be her
Beautiful only in the way that all dying things are
And I, like her, will be eraseable

I can only hope for my pencil to draw me a new path
A way out my prison and, like the truth,
I pray for my pencil to set me free.

Ask me
I dare you
Don't you care to know my heart?
When I'm gone,
Won't you wish you had?
My hand outstretched,
I will show you where mirages are born
Where rainbows- the sky's greatest lies- begin
All you have to do is just cross the river, jump the stepping stones
Never mind how slippery they may be
Don't you trust me?

*Ask and you'll recieve

You have to realize that your convictions and desires to work toward being a better person and not regretting your past mistakes apply to others. Trying to move past problems you've created with others within your history but putting others down for trying to move past theirs doesn't make any sense.....what do you really believe in?

Panic attacks are like the wind.
You can't see the wind but you can surely feel it.
Panic attacks are like a boomerang.
You throw it away thinking you're fine.  But it comes right back to you.
Panic attacks are like setting off a firework.
You know it's going to go off.  But when it does it scares you.

Stay calm my dear child
It's going to be okay
I can promise you here
so please don't go astray

You are here for a reason,
you are strong and courageous  
I never give up on
things that last ages

Panic no more
For I send out my love
Let peace lay on you
like the light on a dove

I am with you always
I've always told you that
Don't you ever forget
what I laid out flat.

The darker it gets
the more the words begin to writhe

Writhe and rise

they dance before my eyes
tumbling out of my heartbeat,
the poems
Write themselves.

Clarity is like hunger-
Once you lose control of it, it comes and goes as it pleases
Raging on and off as a brush fire, without your approval
You chase it, going from hit to hit,
Seeking the brightness in your eyes and the dizziness in your wrists
Like an addict
Time is bored and runs from your command
Consume me, clarity
Take me, hunger
Until eventually, there is only
Breathing and begging

*What is it to live?