I was inspired by the many cynical minds
from yesterday and behind,
by countless events of outrage
that poisoned and amazed
the universe that once censured my kind.
But I am not backing down
for in the years to come, you'll see me rise
not away from everyone's judgmental eyes
but with fiery flash, I'll have to burn your pride
and jest the world with my old despicable style.

Why did you have to pierce your vein,
Only for a momentary high?
Why did poison become the only thing you cared about-
The one thing you let consume you?
And then that day.
That day you drank that pill
That made you blue, made you still.
After all the times we've told you to stop,
Like a record played on endless repeat,
You continued to wear your frail body out.
Maybe it was to escape reality.
Or maybe it was to forget all the bad memories floating in your head,
So you took whatever you could find and laid down on your bed.
Or maybe it was to fill the empty holes in your heart,
But little did you know, it created new ones right from the start.
Little did you know,
We were here to help you.
We were here to hold you.
We were here to listen.
We were here, we were.
Little did you know, your mother was sitting on the porch the day you left,
With an old picture of the better days, wondering how it got this way.
Tears fell down her face as she clenched onto the hat you always wore.
Little did you know, your sister was laying on your bed,
Listening to the breeze out the window,
And remembering your loudest laugh while catching tears in her mouth.
Little did you know, your dog was sitting on the kitchen floor,
Looking out the back door with the leash in his mouth,
Waiting for you to take him out.
Little did you know, your father was working on his car in the garage,
Trying to cope with a beer and a cigar.
But out peaked the old baseball and your old
Worn mitt from a box on the shelf.
He started to cry because he remembered of the times you played catch With him on the front lawn.
Little did you know, we were all sitting in a circle
On the grass of your favorite place,
Blasting your favorite songs.
I know this isn't the end.
I know wherever we go when we die,
You'll be there to welcome us and say hi,
With that beautiful smile on your face,
Where we'll be young forever
Just like the old times.
Until then,
"See you in another life, brother."


-quote from the show, Lost. Said by the character, Desmond

I slipped into oblivion
And for a minute or two I held hands with death
What separated us was nothing but murky water; Hade's Lethe
My fingers reached up
Or was it down?
They intertwined with his
He bent his Cimmerian face through the separating waters
His night colored lips briefly rested against mine
But not for long enough
I loitered on his doorstep just long enough for my heartbeat to recede, my breath to become  shallow~
And then I awoke
I crashed up through the pressing weight of the deep, black water
Death's sweet embrace was broken

you had too many drinks that night,
and she was wearing a dress,
so you thought, "she's a ****," right?
because you label women as:
what they wear is what they are, right?
you tried to woo her countless times,
but she still said no,
and you thought she was playing with you.
you thought, just because she was wasted,
that means she's ***** and wants to ****.
she was an innocent girl.
all she wanted was to have fun,
but you ruined that for her.
even after she pushed you off,
and smacked you in the face,
and called you every swear word,
you thought she wanted you.
she cried for help,
but the music was too high,
and everyone was too drunk,
and they all thought she wanted it too.
and that makes me sick.
because she didn't want it,
she wanted a place to let loose.
she didn't want it,
she just wanted some fun.
a couple of beers,
a couple of cheers,
then she'd go off with her friends.
but you've formed her into a woman,
a woman who screams in her sleep,
who locks all the doors,
who jumps at every bump in the night.
you've done that to her,
and you don't even feel sorry.
you thought she was an animal,
just a play toy.
but she was so much more.
and after she stopped weeping,
you tried to kiss her again,
but she pushed you away,
you got angry with her.
you shook her and smacked her,
you beat her black and blue.
don't lie to me, i know you want me.
i know you want me.
I KNOW YOU WANT ME.
and she screamed,
even if you hurt her.
she screamed and screamed,
even when you broke her jaw.
she shrieked.
she cried.
she never wanted you.
a week later i was walking home,
and coincidentally i looked up,
and on top of the building was a figure.
there was a goddess up there,
black and blue from a beating,
but still beautiful.
her sobs floated from her mouth,
down to the streets,
but no one bothered to listen.
but i did.
and i went up there,
and brought her down,
and hugged her.
she flinched and squirmed,
because some **** had ruined her.
some ******* poisoned her thoughts,
making her believe every guy is the same.
every guy she has ever loved or trusted,
became another trespasser.
she couldn't even look her father in the eye.
but she broke down before me,
revealing herself in blood in tears,
painting me a story that made me sick.
she cried for hours on that roof,
curled up in front of me,
begging me to let her die,
but i refused.
i saved her life,
and i hope no one saves yours for when karma comes around.

so don't change then
you seem to be perfectly comfortable
in your insanity.
wrestling, withdrawing,
anhedonia coming alive in your party
master wrangler of sorrow,
been there, done that.
and like watching
the christians and the lions,
i am rooting for you
but know you will shed blood.
and when you are devoured enough
you come to life,
crazy sonafabitch.
stay where you are then,
forget em happy pills.
i will go certifiable with you
as long as you do not forget
the lunacy of our love.

Scars of tear-streaked shame
Or proud tiger-striped strength.
Which are they?
Tonight let's flip the coin.

she’s pregnant with a boy

the size of a bean

with a heartbeat so loud that I’m affected by it.

I honestly feel like this child is mine

which crumples me

and ruins me

because if a 16 year old girl thought my baby was hers,

I would tell her that she might as well be infertile

But I’d apologize later.

But that baby will be the death of me

maybe he’ll teach me how to love