Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **

My thoughts are crabbed and sallow,
My tears like vinegar,
Or the bitter blinking yellow
Of an acetic star.

Tonight the caustic wind, love,
Gossips late and soon,
And I wear the wry-faced pucker of
The sour lemon moon.

While like an early summer plum,
Puny, green, and ****,
Droops upon its wizened stem
My lean, unripened heart.

you look at them once,
and automatically you
know everything there
is to know.

but what gives
you the right?

the right to label
someone based on
their sexuality,
their mentality or
their physical appearance.

who said you were
important enough to
judge others?

you are not the
high or mighty.

so stop acting
like something
your not.

Johnny the ball player
Billy the kid
Suzy the busy body
Is best friends with Liz

John is a lawyer
William's a father
Susan's divorced
She feels like God forgot her

Where are her friends now
Elizabeth can't be bothered
She's dying alone
Government cannon fodder

Days long forgotten
Of a sunrise without pain
Hope lies in youth
Hate lives in age

Why can’t we all share
Like Mother once taught us
Why do we die
For the money, more dollars

If we could see ourselves now
Through the eyes of our past
We would cry two tears
For the loss of the first
And the birth of the last

everything is bad and it's raining. i'm nauseous and i'm sleeping on a bed of nails tonight. icicles hang from the empty nest inside me. it's cold and birds don't like this type of weather. i'm not sad, i'm not much of anything. it's still raining and i think it will be for a while. just buy an umbrella they say. little do they know i have a collection of them. i buy them constantly just to tear holes in with my teeth. i just vomited again and everything is just as bad as it was before. there are a handful of drugs i could swallow with little smiley faces on them. i've learned to see smiling faces and look right through them. i can't leave this bed because there's shattered glass on the floor from every mirror i've ever looked in. everything is bad and it's raining.