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 Feb 2020 eli
Jay
Come back
 Feb 2020 eli
Jay
There is this anger within me
you left me
I needed you the most
and you just gave up
you were on the floor
you didn't cry for help when you collapsed
why didn't you yell?
we could've saved you
you just laid there
and let it happen
you left me
I scream your name at night
I don't even know I do it
I am scaring people
I need you
you left me
you left me for what?
you don't believe in a heaven or a hell
you left me for nothing
you were supposed to be there for me
you were supposed to take care of me
you were supposed to walk me down the aisle
because my real dad is in and out of prison
abusing every girl he sleeps with
injecting every shot he is presented with
you were supposed to be my safe haven
you left me
you died
you.
My father figure who is also my best friend died in early November. I am getting worse. I don't know how to deal with death. I think grieving the dead is stupid. the dead is dead and that is it. yet I have nightmares of him... I miss him
 Feb 2020 eli
idiosyncrasy
hit me
it would sting
less
than you
walking away

yell at me
it would be
quieter
than you
avoiding my eyes

**** me
it would
be more
merciful
than you
pretending you love me
how did this happen?
 Feb 2020 eli
Her
how am i suppose
to explain
what the ****
i am feeling

how am i suppose
to explain
the anger that runs
through my ******* veins

that i was just a child
a helpless child
in a hallow room
filled with too much pain

to even        s p e a k
 Feb 2020 eli
Salsa AK
Truth
 Feb 2020 eli
Salsa AK
We have a strange relationship, truth and I
She never speaks in my presence
I don’t dare look her in the eye,
We exist in each other’s reality
We feed of each other’s pain,
I shame her with my being
Her loss becomes my gain.
 Feb 2020 eli
stargazer
Your Local Grocery Store
so much to offer
and always around the corner
giving and giving

he lays out everything
on shelves
for you to see

some take without giving
anything back
saying to themselves
that they take only
what he doesn't need

most, though
gather their things
take them to the counter
and offer empty
slips of paper

he takes them
without complaint
knowing that
they don't have
anything else to give

people think of him
when they need something
and he's always so happy
to oblige

always giving and giving
so much to offer
just around the corner
dedicated to Evan, known as the poet, Your Local Grocery Store. may he get better customers.
 Jan 2020 eli
Kafka Joint
I dedicate
 Jan 2020 eli
Kafka Joint
I dedicate this little poem
To everyone who is reading it
Without getting fed up and distressed,
Because the will to read
Is not obvious
By so many people.
 Jan 2020 eli
noren tirtho
Time doesn't heal.
And the wound knows it.
Layers gather on the ****
but the damage remains,
hiding itself deep inside
the secret scar
time healing wound layers damage hidden secret scar
 Jan 2020 eli
Patricia LeDuc
Warning
 Jan 2020 eli
Patricia LeDuc
A step in my head
Is like walking through a minefield
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