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I find myself
and I feel myself
slowly falling down
into your gaze,
but is this right?
is this okay?

It's everything I'm afraid of,
everything I'm unsure of. . .
Am I?
Am I even good enough?
to grow with you,
to move with you,
to just be-
with you,
in harmony?

to ebb and flow-
its hard ya know..?
to take the good with the bad,
not many can handle that.

it's a long, hard road paved by patience
with diligence, allegiance, and constant cognizance;
that's not to mention pure intent, unconditional love, and
always going beyond and above...

is this..
could this..
could this be what we're capable of?

when I think of the possibilities,
the places we can go,
the faces we'll see, the some that we'll know,
the many opportunities. . .

w      o      a      h

the thought;
it ties my stomach in knots
the tension;
its so easily broken
like a button upon cloth
held by a thread

SNAP

I'm a wreck...
and its just waiting to happen
like the many times before..
I can't, you can't, we can't
they all end in divorce..
oh sweet, sweet discourse

who knows,
I can't predict the future,
but what I do know
is that you may be the one to sway me
but only I can save me from myself..

and the last thing I'd do is ask you
for any type of help
so give me the time I need
and maybe it'll be
everly after happy!
this is what i do
i sit down
away from my happy persona
and yell out my depression?
no its not
its more of a therapy session
a way a part of me can finally feel acceptance 
and show what we think
show what we are
Fifty-percent illusion at any given time.
Your unintended muse will plead 'not guilty' to the crime
Of snatching back the quill and reshaping every line
into the role she wished to play
-- it seems the choice was never mine --

but the boy with the weighted wedding ring,
the self-appointed jury of the south;
him sheepish at the door with roses,
and the brute who owns this house.

Was it feminine mystique or was I crystal clear
while you blocked your ears and pretended not to hear?

A three-act structured tragedy.
All archetypes assigned.
"We've had this date since the beginning" --
if the part must be mine to play,
it is in my hands to manipulate.
Direct your blame to those who cast the roles.

Torn petticoat, blue piano;
flattered by the dimming glow --
oh, to be glossy pink and gold!
A trophy bride. A victor's prize.
(I snap awake and still see his eyes --
that ego swells him thrice my size --
with bruising force, he parts my thighs.)

Was it hysteria - madness? - or was I crystal clear
while you blocked your ears and pretended not to hear?

My fate was written for me,
in the frontal lobes of those who came before me:
down that narrative route, all bumps and troughs -- desire!
Fragments of an old Rossetti poem... o, vanity of vanities... the streetcar rattles and groans.
self-indulgent b-side to the prior poem 'i, ophelia'; honing in on blanche dubois (a streetcar named desire). excuse the rhymes, it's been a while.
 Sep 2018 eleanor prince
Isabelle
there is an abyss within
your ocean heart
a depth only a few can grasp
and those who don’t fear
the swallowing waves
and those who aren’t afraid
to swim and dive
will be the lucky ones
to find the beauty you hide
dare to dive
 Sep 2018 eleanor prince
Cné
When summer ends and it’s fall time,
they'll be no floating with my wine.

No more upon the float I'll lie
amused by moon-lit clouds up high.

No more the current of the pool
adrift around the bank so cool.

No meditations in the night.
No solace, cloaked in inky sight.

And yet, t'is but a price I'll pay
to see an end to summer's sway.

My nightly swims, I gladly cease
to gain the autumn's cool release.

So, for the *****, I nightly glide.
But, friends in thee, I must confide...

I wait with glee for leaves to turn
and for wood smoke, begin to yearn.
In honor
of the last day
of Summer,
though in Texas,
it’s still hot.
 Sep 2018 eleanor prince
Virtuous
Don't tell me I'm pretty
Tell me that I'm passionate
That I have drive
Tell me that I make you laugh
That I know how to make your day better
Don't tell me I seem nice
Tell me that I'm kind and compassionate
Tell me that I'm not afraid to dream and to dream big
Don't tell me I'm perfect
Tell me the you love me despite my flaws
That you want to spend the rest of your life with me
Don't tell me I'm beautiful
Tell me that you'll be faithful and forever true
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