poems are also my offspring
orating and orchestrating
a million word march
reshaping freedom
respecting boundaries
boundaries apologize at the end
giving reparations to my language
ceasing to exist among gratitude

the strain is hard to to believe
never mind that it is me
I think Im being pulled apart
I thought my heart was my home
but really it is all alone
mourning in a shell of servitude
born into a custody battle
over who being human belongs to
I own blackness by birth
but they still think whiteness
has created its meaning
the worth
of origins
reclaiming ownership

i can feel you
under my skin
within its infinitely thin
casing of light
every time
i want to be inside you
moving around inside
finding everything
intimately outside
darkness
pour
into light
guru

right now
sacrifice is fueling opportunity
an opportunity to breathe
with an uninterrupted purpose
the corruption of our native soul
stop nourishing it
by constructing whiteness
sacrificing ethnicity
for the temporal indulgence
adrenaline *****
torturing
intensity of dissociation
hallucinating whiteness
the worst drug ever manufactured
forced upon our children
intricate delicate
vulnerable violence
tripping
stumbling
dissociating from an eternity
of survival of the most cooperative
deterring
forgetting
intoxicating
for a moment
momentum of ******

hallucinating whiteness
with pharmaceuticals and weapons
tripping on false pretense
drunk off indulgence in assumption
shooting up black people into police veins
morphine government
numb to the people
America the anesthesiologist of the world
apathy is whiteness
complacency is getting frustrated about this
whiteness is the synthetic LSD
that too many people are used to

Happiness is furious
With how it’s represented
Competition of dissociative
Laughing smiles
Rubbing it in
Lavishing leisure
afforded from genocide
Small talk and celebrate
Coercive society
Happiness is furious
That we can find beauty
In its destruction
That we throw so much
Away into decomposition
While starvation decomposes
While we compose synthesize
Ourselves to act normal
Radical structure of intimacy
On a genocidal basement
Happiness is furiously
Unraveling corruption

?!

“Oh good you are here!”
The child was was being scolded when I walked in
“can you tell him why he should not use the N word?”
Can I get time and a half
Actually can I get worker’s comp?
Do you mind if I put my jacket down first
and my coffee
“It keeps repeating in my head”
the white kid says with his thumb in his mouth
smiling to the side in some spaced out ecstasy
the child enjoying the power he has gained in this interaction
My entrance into the school interrupted
Ok so I explained what the word actually means and what it came to mean
why it hurts me
the nightmares of my father being tortured by peers in school and their families and friends
Confederate flag molotovs
I would put under their beds
the resting place of this putrid confidence
the one that they call now
reality that is the future already when they say now
and the future is at first now before it is already the past
you cannot just open your ****** mouth and describe the future
and look at me with expectations
as if I don’t notice how far gone into the past
you have become in your communication
and in doing this
a defense and assumption of white supremacy being the generator of value
but experience of being human is most valuable
whiteness is inorganic

neon ****
haunted tobacco
vengeance of cotton
broken words
purpose of procreation
decapitated capitalism

A history of vengeance
sustainability is evolution
other than distraction
removing us from evolution
for profit
the excess
is vengeance
a new consciousness
an autonomous *****
vengeance is calculated
it is love
duty
art
health
vengeance is for the family
for the child
for the past
for the future
presently
vengeance overwhelms
the militance of isolation
all that is left behind
for existence of the future
is a history of vengeance

How to design a killer society
by president whiteness
the imperial imagination
drone culture
drone language
drone purpose

a rough process
of putting your conscience
back into yourself
far away from what you look like
while having your experience
surrounded by those who fear
having their experience alone
awkward comparisons of experience
acting out in play
called
“how normal melts into experience”
you ****** expired
you are looking now
at yourself having been experienced
expired and ready for the next program

I destroyed leisure
white celebration
single handedly
found its brittle structure
and took it apart
piece by piece
as it squeezed and begged
I smiled as it crumbled
down back to nature
begging for mercy
begging to be taught how to live
how to be alive

i can give time
I can take it away

does time need electricity
to be charged
does time need to socialize
the harder it seems
the more easy my words come
the better they touch you
graze your skin barely
tickles
like I could never with my hands

I want my words to be a spark
I want you to be flammable
I want you to be mesmerized
by the flame I made out of your attention
I want you to feel warm and cozy
burning passion
scared of fire out of control
spreading
you need
yet fear so boldly
desperate nuclear dissociation
like the affection of whiteness
stampeding innocence

feining my writing
like drugs needles
love
too deep in limbs
they are coming
imperialism
*******
longing for
bodies
I want your mind
keep her body
naked hostage
of imperial lust
what happened to your attention
being an adult
I don’t know what the **** is in the future
but I do
so do you
I wanted to write to you
so I could just focus
on your eyes the next time I am with you
your moistness
melts my desire
I become more of a mystery
more mystery
until nothing but mystery
and then nothing at all

To me whiteness is a mental illness
whiteness is the worst habit
a habit forming process
construction
worse than cigarettes
nevermind being 18 yet
they force it on new born babies
Whiteness kills more people
its worse for the lungs
worse for the human spirit
whiteness taught humanity conflict
and it still does
it taught how to make crack from *******
it gave it to families
that it had already attempted to destroy
taught us how to infect blankets with small pox
and then have an Ivy league college named after you
whiteness taught us how to be inhuman
made groups to destroy humanity
whiteness taught us how to
and it is encouraging me
to destroy humanity and blame it on the other
to destroy humanity then blame it on the destruction it attempted to leave behind
whiteness taught us
and encourages me
to disassociate from humanity
it taught us to never
and I mean never
stray from humans that have evolved
not ever again
whiteness taught us the need to worship evolutionary people
by negation it reminds us to be human
whiteness is the silence of genocide
I will no longer construct whiteness
I promised myself
I am a decomposer
consider whiteness socially deconstructed

changing the original human meaning of African
to justify slavery
is whiteness
its fuel
its language
its justification
its rapacious legal system
glory
pride
economy
abolitionists know this too
even though they might be light skinned
being human happens

hunting in the hood
wilderness of whiteness
tell your dog to stay inside
my boys are back in town
hunting yotes
keep your children inside
don’t worry about what you hear
outside
stay out of your yard
sneak peek
windows speak
yotes forgotten every year
an aging princess
in hunting season
bares her beauty
to the meadows
deer licked apples eaten
love has mercy
on severe promises
penetrated
hunting in the hood

White extinction
As gentle as genocide allows
These words to mate
With your mind
Slipping through moist eyes
Organic soul
please pause rejection
It is possible to go extinct
Without taking humanity
Into a consensus
Started in 1790
Stripping ethnicities club
Hypodecent hypocrites
Impossible to be inclusive
Hell on earth
White flag surrender
Absence of color please reflect
Humans are color
All of them
Vengeance asks gently
One last time
To mate with your mind
A fairy tale of apocalypse
The world cannot sustain
Otherwise
Modified cruise ships
Enslaving extinct whiteness
Caucasus imagined
Rebuilding native Africa
Asian orders power
Central African bank
Gentle regenocide
Leading humanity
Away from extinction
Gentle genocide is not sacred

insecure
is why we do
what we do
that is why we are vulnerable

does anyone else
notice that there are no natives
around
close enough
on waking up
I bet you think this poem is about you
who knows the plants?
the trees?
who can speak to nature
and make agreements with it?
who signed the organic peace treaties?
organic contracts
who tried torturing ethnicities
into demanding to the death
they are in the state of whiteness?
You do not understand how lost
unsafe
vulnerable
insecure
until you call for help
out of desperation
echoing!
into nativeless derangement
you were wrong
about being able to control nature
and there is nothing you know
that is organic that can renegotiate
the organic peace treaty

identity curve
or is it at a point
jagged
what shapes
what boundaries
geometric
voluptuous identity
too graphic
waves spiraling
or stillness
a point
closer inspection
a circle
spreading out
like a rainbow slinky
tumbling
down a great pyramid stairs
pointing to it
"that is"

am I not conforming yet?
am I finally an outcast
can you please let me out of whiteness
did I offend it too much to be accepted anymore
is my demand for humanity contagious
are you scared of it spreading yet
why are you still listening
to the voice in your mind that is reading?
confused
angry
desperate
you should have killed all the others
you should have been more strict
more brutal with your laws
whiteness should have been more violent with its punishment
more relentless
unforgiving with its shaping of humanity
It should have been more incestuous
whiteness should have kept its privates in its pants
if whiteness wanted too survive
it should have fought harder
Whiteness should have kept its language secret
It should have invested in privacy and security and insurance even more
if whiteness wanted to survive
but if whiteness wanted to dissipate and fail
its doing perfect

am I not conforming yet?
am I finally an outcast
can you please let me out of whiteness
did I offend it too much to be accepted anymore
is my demand for humanity contagious
are you scared of it spreading yet
why are you still listening
to the voice in your mind that is reading?
confused
angry
desperate
you should have killed all the others
you should have been more strict
more brutal with your laws
the fees and fines should have been much much bigger
we should have only been 2 fifths of a vote
if whiteness wanted to succeed
whiteness should have been more violent with its punishment
more relentless
unforgiving with its shaping of humanity
It should have been more incestuous
whiteness should have kept its privates in its pants
if whiteness wanted too survive
it should have fought harder
Whiteness should have kept its language secret
It should have invested in privacy and security and insurance even more
if whiteness wanted to survive
but if whiteness wanted to dissipate and fail
its doing perfect
Otherwise whiteness would have blotted out the sun
whiteness would have made tanning cream illegal a long time ago
and the penalty would have been much harsher than voluntary manslaughter
if whiteness were to be able to take over
forever
whiteness needs to get over the fact that it is not real
to put a halt to its construction
and to stop making excuses that are similes to genocide

If I did not play drums
furiously
climb cliffs recklessly
risk it all
or too much
confronting authority
of whiteness
unarmed
If I didn’t have love
poetry
writing
I would have killed all
white supremacy by now
undone the police
made whiteness blackness
If I didn’t have love
my implosion
would destroy the earth
just to cleanse it
of fascist ******* whiteness
If I did not spill my soul
every moment
of every time
If I did not have love

If Stephen King was black
Obama would not be president
Segregation would exist all over again
OJ would have gotten guilty without a trial
Except the black part would be technologically advanced
cars that navigate themselves
Sonic energy distribution
portable wings
the Rockateer would also therefore be black
Disney Land would be scary and real
Darwin would have been black
Go go Gadget’s engineer would be black
Malcolm X would have been mixed race
Carl Sagan ran the blackest gang in Oakland
If Stephen King was black
Therefore
Stephen Hawkings is black too
Einstein invented Compton in ten minutes
On a coffee break
The bees Einstein was referring to are the African Killa bees
And Einstein was the father of Wu tang
Stephen Hawkings hangs out with Mike Tyson and Alicia Keys
The Black Panthers like every other morning in the blackest house Washington DC
Made me eggs benedict with fresh eggs and ham
Dr Seuss is therefore black by association
Aunt Jemima would run the FDA and tap maples trees in the Berkshires
But she is white now
America would turn a blind eye and play more volley ball
and in us
God would trust

I know you
I know how you think
I know how you lust
I know how you envy
I know how you were created
I know why
It was not god or evolution
that made you
it was slavery that made you
whiteness
I know how you feel
I know how you dissociate
I know how to stop it
I know someday you will understand
why it had to be stopped
whiteness

They hate the sound
They hate what it means
They cover themselves in dark white cloth
They organize tribes against it
They hire police to stop it
They imported them to **** whenever they wanted
They got drunk and miserable and numb
Their white wives protested oppression by torturing and slandering my brothers and sisters
They hate with exterminating thoughts
They hate how I got here
They hate that it is out of their control
They hate the sound of black and white *******
They hate how I was created
They hate the sound of my family
They wanted us to be oil on fire
On top of polluted water
They hate the sound of mixed parents *******
They have to wake up and imagine what it feels like
To be free
To be human
They hate the sounds of pleasure as it mixes uncontrollably
They hate our *******
They would rather the sound of us twisting in agony in trees
Like Nina’s strange fruit
They hate the sound of us ripping through their police
They hate the sound of us breaking down their barriers
They hate the sound of us being better role models for their children
They hate the sound of us owning America
I love the sound freedom

whiteness should
is
and will
be held accountable
for abusing
our imagination

Imagine dying for being black
a new national holiday
starts tomorrow
mourning

Sparkling water
photographic memories
Contributing to beautiful dreams
And to nightmares unbearable to sleep
Intelligence is an immune system
Resisting the most lengthy thought out mistakes
Decomposition is what demands the form of life

perception is the degradation of reality
communication is further degradation of this
afterward
speaking of love
is the destruction
of degraded reality
which gives reality
a chance again
while contemplating
even further away
while discussing
loving language to death
obsession with impermanence
if it was evolved we were relating to
we would be focusing on our breathing
alone in a cave for atleast a week
for without which
no thoughts to degrade reality
external impressions stampeding existence
was it peace I was hearing them say?
if it was peace an intention at all
silence would be God for a week
we would be worshipping our breath
instead of the business
its shadows of darkness
calling itself white
leisurely in a purely degraded reality
the profit of the wrong currency
taking breathe away
obscuring
taking breathe away
obscuring

what is your ethnicity?
"White"
where are your parents from?
"White"
The same family? Like ******?
"Yes, white."

calls me into her office
white business owner boss,
"My daughter wants to have a baby with a black guy. What do you think?"
Mixed race me,
"Well its pretty complicated..."
white business owner boss,
"But they are so cute and the skin tone is so nice."
Mixed race me,
"I think she should first make love with me on your desk and then move from there."
white business owner boss,
"Ok great! I'm giving you a 50 cent raise."
Mixed race me,
"Wow! Thank you sir...I mean maam. When can I get started?"
white business owner boss masogynist,
"You know how incestuous (excessively close and resistant to outside influence) we white family business owners are? I want to cheer you on and make sure you make her happy. Or else!
Hehe. I might even want a turn."
crickets...
and the crowd goes wild
which is the employees,
"Oh my gosh! This is incredible! I think he is going to get workers comp!"

Build a wall
cage us
with you
trapped together
no where to escape
what you do
have done here
an arena
a fight to the death
caged with the vengeance
you create
if you do not escape
whiteness
America
there will be nothing left
nothing right
no one to maintain
the wall
when the world comes to see
how it has played out
the only thing still alive
vengeance and the people
born into it
inside the wall

too much of
which Ivy league school
professors
students
politician did this
places to travel to
what is urgent
how much vengeance
has accumulated
what happens when desperation
combines with intelligence
how much time to indulge in cowardice
before evolution retakes its course
the most important new field of study
why militance is unsustainable
against exponential vengeance
the convergence of domestic
and international vengeance
The prestigious institute of
Imperialism and the culture of vengeance
how the **** is sustainability possible
after attempting genocide
of the people who knew the land
and stealing people from other places
to create the worst
identity crises ever imagined

The arrogance is the most fascinating thing to me
when I think of equality
race
gender
class and such
It is the arrogance
the arrogance that a brutal military could earn anyone really
its no merit to evolution
or the continuity of nature
cooperation is the fittest
so the arrogance of
“Black lives matter more than white lives”
signs
being held on busy streets crowded by people who feel the need to construct whiteness
all day ever day
getting paid very little and sometimes even nothing
to construct whiteness
some get financial aid
to construct whiteness
some get allowances
loans
some inherit money to construct whiteness
some are also just really dumb
some do it intelligently
some started ivy league institutions
to construct whiteness
some people ask me to construct whiteness
and I
say
*******
I think insurance should cover treatment for whiteness
and cover the treatment for the damages done by whiteness

layers of trauma
birth
tribal
social
integrative trauma
god trauma
evolutionary trauma
integrating everything
weaving trauma
unravelling
secretly
integrating layers of trauma
with the fine thread of hope
that is desire

Why is sorrow so heavy?
It puts its anchor down
stuck
And no one can seem to find where the anchor dropped
No one can figure out how to get it back up
It is confusing
But don't be confused about sorrow
Happiness is much more confusing
Try and come with a final answer all day
Happiness is still killing us all slowly
Decomposition

When the air is polluted by politicalism
desperation of whiteness
that was once mistakenly
referred to as racism
how do I breathe
The pollution is killing us
does the Environmental agency understand
that pollution is social
psychological
a mental illness
on purpose at one time
mistakes ever since?
whiteness trying to expoit others
really ended up expoiting itself
polluting its own air
it shares with its victims
nature

Why are you holding that sign in the woods?
(Black lives matter more than white lives sign)
What do you mean?
Oh yeah
well
because nature listens
“it does?”
yes
white people show anger
and its not an angry topic
its biological
it is nature qualm with a group of people
I have enough to focus on
I am fully occupied with evolving
nature
with its elements
it changes and directs humans
nature is the shepherd
not white Jesus
In the woods there are no death threats
Dont get me wrong I would love to fight about it
that is natural
nature encourages it
But today I would rather the wind blowing through the leaves
The birds agreement
the hum of the river
the drones above me
that wont leave me alone
the majority of humanity that is waiting for my cue
to overthrow corruption
to replace it with the happiness and freedom of chaos

the wear and tear of intimacy
sometimes referred to as love
sometimes referred to as war

The intricate ways
That humans dissociate
From nativity
The harder it becomes
To give it back
To ourselves and them
The endless sound of mosquitoes
Draining me
The pressure
The journey
The adventure
Of becoming
Giving
Begging for forgiveness
Sorry I have been gone
For so long

I cannot give birth
I will just fade away
innocent fatherhood
the bystander
while I watch them grow
admiring her
fascinated
mesmerized
creating everything except new life
she is the most beautiful
fertile passionate

I decided to do a race today
Nobody finished

overwhelming sadness
to embarrassment
frustration
to embarrassment again
forgiveness
it does not make sense
to those around me
so I would rather bury
bury
bury
my overwhelming sadness
to not have to
convince
impress
prove
that I can move past
beyond
away from
the first time I saw her
but actually
it was the first time
Ive ever been seen
and my heart
with all its will
it became
as if vulnerable
took over the world
all of the sudden
existence
feeling
experience
love
the first and only time
she would ever prove
impress
upon me
the invincible human being
that we are the same
I will miss you
no matter how close
no matter how far
without dissociation
I do what matters most
I will have to be reborn
opportunities to sense
new feelings
forever
but I will still miss you
rebirth after rebirth
rebirth before rebirth
the first time I had a purpose
meaning
feeling
not
negating stutus quo
or agreeing to be it
Im sorry that I allowed you
to have this journey
I hope you can be strong
I know you can
I love you
more than anything
always could
express my sensitivity
creatively
impressively
gracefully
terrified
now
when my sensitiveness
is pouring out of me
for all to see
like a heart
without
a body
expressionless
cold
crying
mourning
after a lucid nightmare
and you are no where
the sadness is crippling
but I should be healed
at the least
do what is expected
further overwhelmed
unstoppable
in vulnerable’s world
sadness is the ruler

I squint
its so unbelievably strange
I guess this is what freedom
is like
after being enslaved

Enough of this ******* spree!
No more you and me alone
lived alone died alone
Actually you watched me die alone
I paid attention to how to grow things beyond imaginations wild
My inner child roars
and lions ride out on elephant tusks
My heart is not carved from ivory or mahogany
It grew!
It was never shaped by anyone
Like being in love and stepping in **** all at once
She can tell how much
this world has destroyed in my life
and she just wants my focus on her
No more world weighting you down
Just be with me and love again

I am officially decomposing
you can keep my composure
I do not need it anymore

my father
black jazz musician
left America
to other countries
like France
Denmark
for respect
while my friends
fathers
for the status quo
of whiteness
went to **** people
in other countries
for a little money

As the force of the jet
pushed my head back into the seat
I watched the racism of whiteness
become smaller
and smaller
and it disappeared
then all it was is clouds
awww...
this must be heaven

I get it America
I really do
I am mixed race too
just like you are
I understand how hard it is
to make it look like
there is no internal race conflict
to try and conceal the race war within
putting on fake appearance
to show cooperation
affirmative actions
I also wanted it to look like I was progressive too
moved on from race war
just like you America
There is raging race war within me

this country
America
has a lot to learn
from those that have survived
the making
and unmaking
of whiteness
this existential
exponential
build up
of advocacy
for noticing humanity
when it steps out of line