One year.
It's been
one year
without you
down here;
One year
full of
sadness and grieving
and tears.
One year of
questions, disbelief
and acceptance.
One year,
and I've learned
to count my blessings.
One year -
I pray that wherever
the afterlife takes us,
well I hope
that's where you are
and I hope
you're happy there,
because we
sure as hell miss you
Here.
One year.

Strangers.
we've become
Strangers
and without you
I've realized
how strange it is

to go from

Everything
to
Nothing
to
Best friends
and back to
Nothing.

And yet
I still love you;
though now we're
Strangers...

*isn't it strange,
how strange it is?

I only endure the pain of missing you
and knowing I can't hug you because
I can't eat these miles twixt you and I
neither can I drink the vast Ocean dry

I bear the ache of yearning to hug you in vain
because the feeling is mutual, you feel my pain
it hurts like a boil but there's not much I can do
I guess it's the price I have to pay for loving you

and unlike the rest we no longer doubt our intension
so I ignore millions often gazing with clear admiration
blooming in their eyes, cause you'll always be my inspiration
and I'm determined to bear, no matter the duration

for you walked in when none was brave enough to dare
you broke down the walls I had built, with honest love and care

which is perfect for what you did.
(what you are)
(what you always will be)
when you told me about sunflowers being your favorite
and I immediately wanted to buy all of them in the store for you –
then, and only then, I noticed how deep I was
in the storm you poured down on my world.
I was
(am)
drowning in your words,
(barbed and sarcastic)
your smile,
(mischievous)
your laugh
(oh, how it curved your face into a masterpiece).
I wanted to bottle it all up, keep it to myself;
a dragon with his hoard.
(not gold, but echoes of you)
I took all of you in,
and it nearly killed me.
(so sweetly)
but now, I know how to swim.
and you are the only sea
(storm)
I want to swim in.

but, it’s over now.
and you have moved on.
and the sea is drying up.
so, what to do now?
now
it’s
my
turn
to
rain.
(for you)

It hurts to look at him
Like it hurts to look at old photographs of happy times you'll never get to enjoy
Like listening to recordings of a concert you didn't go to
Like smelling fresh bread you can't eat

It hurts to know I've always been so close
In math we learned that parallel lines run next to each other for eternity
But they don't touch
And maybe my line was never straight forward
But it always seemed to bend towards you
I guess I just didn't fit in his equation

It hurts when I see him smiling
But it's not at me
Laughter is the best medicine
That's what I've heard
So maybe that's why this sickness inside me hasn't healed yet

How do I tell someone that I love them
Especially when they're a bird
And you don't want to tie them down
Because you love them for their flight
There's this saying that says "**** two birds with one stone"
If I killed him in flight, I would **** my self too

Last night was hard for everyone, for all of us
The moon noticed your obvious absence and lit bright trying to trace you from every corner of  the universe
the stars were sad and they tried so hard to blink back their tears
even the nimbus clouds detected the heartbreaking melancholy
and tried to blanket them from the chilling cold of solitude
but the twinkling stars still struggled to peep through
the blanket cast between them and your absence
like little children afraid of the dark until the clouds gave up
for even they ,no matter how strong they pretended to be
the weight of despondence got the better of them
and they subsequently expressed their pain in burdened tears of rain
the roof tried to hold the tears from my unconscious sight
but my ears sadly caught the pattering sobs
darkness whispered some advise but my ears were too sad to hear
and my brain numbed by the scintillating thoughts about you
I tried to kick out the emptiness through listening to the radio
but my fingers were too frozen and weak to turn the ****
so I gave up and just sat quietly inside the net listening to a silence
whose eloquence was labyrinthine and discombobulating
because weaved within mosquitoes did their best to sing me a lullaby
but in anger I violently swatted as many and as many did die
it still was hell hot with my limpid Heart ice cold
yet I still hoped against all odds you would appear
I waited for you like Santa waiting for Christmas,
like anxious Jews waiting for the coming Messiah,
like the Mediterranean sea patiently waits for waters of the Nile,
like a Groom waits for his Bride as she walks across the isle,
I waited for you like a lass waiting for a Telenovela...
or a staunch catholic waiting for a positive eventuality to his Novena,
I waited like the minute hand waits for the second hand of the clock
like the dull pulse of the heart waits to happen after the loud one...
I waited for you like an insomniac waiting for sleep,
sadly sleep never came... so I gave up to wait for the next day
like the invisible sun through a night knowing in the dawn my voice
might reach you like beautiful rays and whisper
to the far that is near how I wish you were here
in a message right into your small pretty ears
I missed you like a baby misses its mother,desperately and in tears