If you'd let me,
I'd take your heart out from the cold
And warm it with my hands
Just so you'd know how
You make me feel alive
Except when you look at me
Because that's when I die
Altogether.

If you'd allow it
I'd tie strings on the sun and stars
And give them all to you
Just so you'd know how
You are the center of my universe
And I gravitate
Helplessly
Around you.

I hear ten… No, eleven.
Eleven different voices everyday.
I try to shut them up,
But it only gets worse.
They shut me up.
Until I can no longer hear my own voice,
Screaming, as I tell my friends about the man I see across the room
Holding a dagger, ******.
Smiling, with teeth stained with the flesh of all the people he hurt before me.

They tell me, "It’s all in your head."
But how can that be
When I feel it piercing through my skin,
Gnawing on my bones,
Eating up my brain?

Eleven.. No, six.
Six voices telling me I’m beautiful
In languages I was never taught.

They tell me to calm down.
"Breathe."
But what they don’t understand
is how I can never tell the difference
Between crazy and sane,
Reality and delusions

You held my hand one night,
And I knew for sure
*I was ******.

Roll the windows down
Because it's getting harder to breathe
With your mouth on my neck
And my hips on yours

Roll the windows down
Because it's fogging up now
And it's getting harder to see
Who's coming our way

Roll the windows down
So they can hear me scream
As you push me down
And I pull you in

I live for these stolen nights
With your arms, strong, around me
And your kisses, hungry, to feed me
Your voice, ecstasy, to calm me

But daylight is coming
It's too soon, I know.

We have to roll the windows up
I can't let them see me
In this stranger's car

The garden that grew on my skin the moment you touched me
Is nothing but a sanctuary of wishes that’ll never come true
and of dreams that need forgetting.

The colors I started to see when I first saw you
Are nothing but manifestations of my delusions.

In reality, I’m invisible
And all I see is you.

The nails on my heart
and the hammers and strings that beat it and pull on it
are the mixed signals you’ve been absentmindedly sending

But no, you didn’t mean to hurt me, did you?
Cos you have no idea the way your words sink themselves into my flesh.

*You have no idea.

He fell in love with me, but only temporarily.
He fell in love with me, but it was too late.

I fell in love with him, and it was too quick.
*I fell in love with him, and he’ll never know.

Standing on the edge
hanging by a thread
on tiptoes
blindfolded.
Just how far will you go
to get what you really want?

Is it coffee
or *****
or you
that’s keeping me awake
at 5 am?
Maybe it’s the mix of all three.