Have you ever felt like you put on mask to hide what it is that truly eats you?
And gave everything you got to fight back  the moments that truly defeat you?
To wish upon a star that only occasionally shines
To pray to a angel who just no longer has the time
To wake up from nightmares while sleeping walking a dream
Hoping that this pretty world isn't as ugly as it seems
Am I a victim?
Course I'm a victim
I hear what you're saying doc
It's just easier not to listen
I'm looking back at the mirror
I see him clearer
He's the hatred I've had inside of me and I can feel him
Can you fix that?
Stop telling me to love my dad
It's easy to diagnose someone when you haven't walked a day in their past
I respect ya comments and cherish ya feedback
But you've never hated being half of what you are while fading back!
You've never took a pill to numb your open wound
You've never drank and wrote suicidal notes alone in your room
You've felt doom?
Tell me what it was like?
Did you forgive the outcome?
Or just enjoy telling me what's right?
Can't force a triangle into a square
Can't lead a army of broken hearts until you've felt despair
Don't you dare!
Sit there, look through me and stare
Come with me first
And I'll take you down the devils stairs
I'll show you lost
Show you pain and show you terror
Show you a little boy
Whose day's just never seemed to get better
I've given my all - I've tried my best and still came up short
I've married happiness - but never saw this sudden divorce
Forever I do!
I'd go back if she wanted me back
But the insecurities and memories get in the way of all that
Don't feel my pain!
Just look at me and smile back
I can't give in too this!
NO!
I will never do that
I've cried enough and ripped out plenty of hair
I've had a pity party! Sat alone, and pretended life wasn't fair
I've enjoyed the ride
Thought itd be better to die
I've broken promises - took a loss and even attempted to swallow my pride
I've yelled loud and did plenty that I'm not proud
I've had hope and more so even had doubt
I've had this - I've had that
No sense to repeating all that
I'm just done with the same story and continuing to look back
I'm sorry for my actions and questioning my reactions
Please just accept me!
It's simple and that's all that I'm asking
I've finally arrived
I'm here and so alive
I'm ready to get what I deserve
I'm ready for my time

The old me is dead, and that’s okay because...
I revived.

Can you leave tomorrow?
Please stay the night.
I promise I will
Make things right.
We can wake up one more time
Our hearts intertwined
Before you leave to tomorrow
Just let me try...
Before you leave tomorrow
Before you say goodbye
I know you leave tomorrow
Before you leave

Stay here and lay here right in my arms
Its only a few moments...until you're gone
And I....will keep you warm
Just act like you love me
So I can go on
Please act like you love me
I want to go on..

Give us one more night
Just lying in bed
We can wake up to the sunlight
Kisses to your forehead
Doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I just gotta make sense of it
Then you'll be gone in the morning
And you'll be over this...
Please just one more night
So I can forget..

Stay here and lay here right in my arms
Its only a few moments...until you're gone
And I....will keep you warm
Just act like you love me
So I can go on
Please act like you love me
I want to go on..

When you go...
Please sneak out as I sleep
Cause I can't take the sight
Of watching you leave
If you go...
I'll know why now
And it was because of me
And when you do go...
Please don't forget...
All of our memories.

Please, stay here and lay here right in my arms
Its only a few moments...until you're gone
And I....will keep you warm
Just act like you love me
So I can go on
Please act like you love me
I want to go on..
Just act like you love me....
I need to go on.

She...she sets the mood with her thigh high dress
She...she sets the tone with her mind on ***
But she thinks "resist"... for confusion, confusion sets in when lust becomes stronger than love.. oh, has lust become stronger than us?

For I...
I...have fallen for you
You have become my addiction..oh..
Have my heart in your conviction,
Lock me up...
Throw away the key,
A prisoner in your inconsistency...

For has lust become stronger than love...
Has lust become stronger than us?
I don't know...don't ask me if I care
Addicted to your eyes, please don't stop with your stares
Blood drippin down the stairs, from something shattered.
Buzzed off the mixture - of emotions and disaster.

Alone, alone in my room - oh
Where you set the tone...hm, set the tone
With your ***, with your mind
Only question is this time...
Did lust become stronger than love?
How did we forget...did we forget about us?

Yeah,
It's been a while but figured I need to write you some
27 now and hope you're proud of who I've become
I've fallen a lot but felt your grace pick me up
My guardian angel with me pushing any kinda luck
I've been asked a few times who I wanna be as I get older
Said you just in case I never told ya
Grandpa told me what you did when I was a kid in need of guidance
Protecting my eyes from my father's influence and violence
I heard that and couldn't help but I shed a tear
Not a min goes by that I don't wish you were here
My drive is strong but everyday I know you
help me steer
My moment is big with the critics talking but you're the only voice that I hear
You taught me to always **** em off with kindness
When you show who you truly are when no ones watching - that's when you're at ya finest...
Taught me to handle it when I get set backs
Been through the worst times to get the best back
At times I feel I ain't work hard enough to get where I wanna go
And feel i can't move forward cause I ain't let the past go
Still holdin in some anger from things that don't think about me
I'm blinded by my emotions in which truly I can't see
I'm trying to become everything and more that you'd be proud of
I'm trying give back more and show more love
It's hard when naturally this doesn't go through you
People won't understand all this unless they knew you
I promise to get better and be the example
And showcase who I am instead of giving out samples
You're the reason I get up everyday and gain motivation
Because you can't get what you want if you remain complacent
Need your help to guide my broken heart to pure places
Give me the strength to become a lil more patient
So I say a prayer for you, cross my heart and continue to strive
And hope that you remain with me on my journey and never leave my side.
You was right but I had to see for myself
I guess it took time for me to earn for myself
I hope this is somewhat a thank you for all ya help
I hope the angels take care of you until I see you myself.

Rest in peace Opa
Miss you

Excuse me? You wrote this right?
Why do you write me goodbye?
Why do you no longer believe in me?
Why are you internally letting me die?
For I - am the reason for everything.
I am the laughter and the pain
I am the feeling you get from the sunrise
I'm the emotions carried down your cheeks when it rains
You're angry at me...
I took em away...like I gave up on you
When your heart every time begged for them to stay
I am building you...you needed to lose me in order to understand that I'll be back again and you will be a better you
You can't run away from me anymore or yourself nor the truth
I live inside of your pain...
I know you tell others you'll never truly be the same but...you lie
You lie to hide what it is you truly are inside
You have the ability to give a love beyond what many can imagine
You just choose now to block your hearts valves with unforgivness and sadness
Why won't you look at me?
You use to love eye contact
Why won't you hold my hand?
You use to love symbolic impact..
I'm still here,
I have endured you long enough pushing me away
What is it about love you don't want? You don't believe in? That you don't think I should stay?
For your heart beats for that one, right?
You yearn for the possibility of showing the kind of man you are...the amount of love you can give.
Just know, I'm one of the essentials in life - without me...it's nearly impossible to truly live.

I was there when you remembered - I was there when you cried - I was there when they walked away - I was there when they died. I was there in the smiles - I was there for the laughs. I was there at first sight - I was there at the last. I was there when you've fallen steep - I was there when you've risen - I was there when you hated me...I'll remain here....even if not forgiven.

For I am love,
I never left you. I always remained here by your side
Please stop running away from me -
Please let me back in
Forgive me
Please, don't say goodbye.

I - remain numb to the prosecutor
Laws of attraction but no morals still remain cuter
I rebuke ya,
With ideas of positive retribution
you living in someone else's shadow?
F$&k; a life sentence
That's a self inflicted execution
Here's my two cents
Cause the cost of life is much more
Pockets so rich
But ethically they so poor
Give em all you got
They turn around and want more
This method of life that killed what we living for
It's dead wrong
Lyrically I'm blessed with a mind that plays so finesse
Don't give a f$&k; about the critics when the words come off the chest
We tryna impress who?
Every person that we see?
I guess it's me, tryna be
Everything that they need
A brother, a son, future father, friend and inspiration
Tell em to focus but I constantly lose my concentration
Slowly awaiting
The dollar bills and fast life
If the Devil were human probably have to take my first life
Or do a deal
Addiction got me for real
I know life's a ***** and I'm loving the way that she feels

Yeah,

Unsure cause my instincts haven't been tested
Well, I've been tested
Passing notes filled with a subliminal message
And no questions
Far from tryna reach the answer
That line probably went over ya head in that very last stanza
Cops yelling put ya hands up
walking alone with ***** curls
Never had heat on me, just vibin out in this cold world
Just wanna speak a lil and explain what my mind constantly grinds
Broken hearted women who looking for any love to find
Mean hearted men who smile back to pretend
This war on love is to ongoing and will probably never end
All issues with those who I had a problem with I now amend
Life is too short to forever hold the hate in
Word to my pen
I'll write more and more again
Cause it's bound to reach one soul
Open at least one eye of a friend
We all die but know not everyone lives
That simple concept should be a sure privilege.

I...Cross my eyes and dot my tees
Becoming the man I chose to be
The pressure of life got me stumbling
But I continue to move my feet...

And chase diamonds in the rough....(echoes out)