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Aug 2017
Have you ever felt like you put on mask to hide what it is that truly eats you?
And gave everything you got to fight backΒ Β the moments that truly defeat you?
To wish upon a star that only occasionally shines
To pray to a angel who just no longer has the time
To wake up from nightmares while sleeping walking a dream
Hoping that this pretty world isn't as ugly as it seems
Am I a victim?
Course I'm a victim
I hear what you're saying doc
It's just easier not to listen
I'm looking back at the mirror
I see him clearer
He's the hatred I've had inside of me and I can feel him
Can you fix that?
Stop telling me to love my dad
It's easy to diagnose someone when you haven't walked a day in their past
I respect ya comments and cherish ya feedback
But you've never hated being half of what you are while fading back!
You've never took a pill to numb your open wound
You've never drank and wrote suicidal notes alone in your room
You've felt doom?
Tell me what it was like?
Did you forgive the outcome?
Or just enjoy telling me what's right?
Can't force a triangle into a square
Can't lead a army of broken hearts until you've felt despair
Don't you dare!
Sit there, look through me and stare
Come with me first
And I'll take you down the devils stairs
I'll show you lost
Show you pain and show you terror
Show you a little boy
Whose day's just never seemed to get better
I've given my all - I've tried my best and still came up short
I've married happiness - but never saw this sudden divorce
Forever I do!
I'd go back if she wanted me back
But the insecurities and memories get in the way of all that
Don't feel my pain!
Just look at me and smile back
I can't give in too this!
NO!
I will never do that
I've cried enough and ripped out plenty of hair
I've had a pity party! Sat alone, and pretended life wasn't fair
I've enjoyed the ride
Thought itd be better to die
I've broken promises - took a loss and even attempted to swallow my pride
I've yelled loud and did plenty that I'm not proud
I've had hope and more so even had doubt
I've had this - I've had that
No sense to repeating all that
I'm just done with the same story and continuing to look back
I'm sorry for my actions and questioning my reactions
Please just accept me!
It's simple and that's all that I'm asking
I've finally arrived
I'm here and so alive
I'm ready to get what I deserve
I'm ready for my time

The old me is dead, and that’s okay because...
I revived.
Not my best piece - guess I have writer's block
Dougie Simps
Written by
Dougie Simps  NYC
(NYC)   
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