I think first, but lately it seems now a days that's my stupid curse
Because it separates the good from the worst
It makes me feel like could it get any worst?
Maybe so
But this liquor is a good start
They say a drunken mind speaks an honest heart
I've been up all night sick like a dog
You was in my dream last night and still never called.
That's ironic
Waiter, let me get another gin and tonic
That make me feel superhuman with a hint of bionic
But she my one and only kryptonite
That kinda drug that keeps the eyes open throughout out the night...
Why can't you let me sleep?
This a dark angel that forever reaps
Who sticks her lethal nails in you 6 inches deep
(Like a burial)
Which means she killing me slowly
Funny how you hate but barely know me...
I think you owe me.
More than just this new found imagination.
More than all the bullsh!t that you've created...
More than the time I've lost that you have wasted
Maybe I should've embraced it?
Disaster was in the menu and I just had to taste it.
"Get out my life, take a hike"
I just hope you make it.

Even if you were broke, Id pay for you,
If you needed protection, I would fight and slay for you
If you were alone, I would lay and stay with you. Nowadays I just look up to the sky, shut my eyes...wish, hope and pray for you.

Because you need it.

I'm confronted with an Angel with a devilish smile
Who speaks with the fiery of an aggressive fire
Who keeps me tempted with the idea of faith
Who puts me in a hold that I can't escape
It's intensified as her lips honestly lie to a guy, not a man, who wasn't ever part of her plan
As she seeks another heart to eat
Seems this dark angel has merely reached her peak...
You can feel the cold air as she starts to speak
You can feel the poison as she injects and starts to leech.
Is this the moment when I jump? Where my heart starts to leap?
Or the moment when my mind takes over and starts to leave?
You made me believe...
Believe in more than just myself
You exposed the qualities in me that were crying out for help
But I was addict...arrest me on being a victim, to weakness and loves conviction.
Listen...
Some ****t happens for a reason...or is it everything happens for a reason?
I live by that quote in my quest of achieving.
But I know now what's misleading...
Toxic kisses, dark bliss and many moments of weakness
4 months later and I've finally got the remedy to beat this.
You've gone and flown away
While my despaired heart sits and stays
Probably hoping for another chance. Waiting for another day.
I promised myself I wouldn't ever think of you and cry
But I can't stop but wonder...dark angel, did you love me? Was I good enough? If not then, Dark Angel,  why?

"I'll never let go, I'll never leave ya."

But...
where are you now that I need ya...

As I grow, I've learned to understand the facts
What seems like love a first sight isn't always that.
Your first jump isn't going to always land
And not all goes according to plan.
Not all doors are the next chance of opportunity
But you keep looking above.
Your heart will get deceived 1000 times before it's satisfied with pure love
Lies will continue to follow
& goals will always leave you outta breath
Great decisions didn't come without a couple sips of regret
Growing up means you will lose a few people along the way
And what seems to be written in stone doesn't mean it'll last forever and is permanently set.
Change comes in to play a lot
And your worst will come before your best.

Needed to set back up, go and grab this pen
Have been so quite, this internal riot got me suddenly urging to vent
Describe a foe from a friend?
Please, trust me you can't
Give me a penny for your thoughts and I'll simply give you an advance
To move on forward and no longer try and bother with me
This out lashing anger is just my father in me
But ya don't think harder than me
Or maybe I'm just a tyrant
A monster who's uses metaphors to be morally violent!
Calming down my verbs
Being cautious with my actions
Trying to walk away but temptation flirts with and keeps asking,
Me to stay and push all my stability away
As I fall to the ground, not to be found. Letting my ability wash away
Meaning I've wasted talent. Self proclaiming my gifts
This confidence is self perceived
But trust me I'm as lonely as it gets
The walls reveal my story
The irony of "the writing on the wall"
Explaining all my mistakes, exposing all my flaws...
Yet, I finally spoke to peace
Been waiting on its call
This tranquil state of mind probably only gunna last me to the fall!
Temporary healing, is far more appealing, since the "love" of my life left, I've slowly started disappearing
Into a place of an unknown, the entrance a beauty but kinda dreary
The darkness feeds my soul! Now isn't that hunger kinda scary!?
Feel the demons all staring!
Is that just people's attempts of false caring?
Their animal instincts to **** is scaring and overBEARing!
Poetry on the beat, few words is on acid...hits hitting my mind! This high might create a classic
My past has me laughing
Or maybe it's just the Xanax
Heart racing like the derby
This rush giving me panic!
Hard to dodge all these bad habits,
Fingers tips start to tingle
Maybe I'm on the brink of brilliance?
All while fighting my past trying to show resilience!
Chasing more than just millions
The money is all just abstract
One man can change the world, so I've decided to write this message and place society BACK on my back..

And I won't break this time..

Progression is something that takes some time

but these are thought of a complex man who's simply outta his mind...(echos out)

No matter* how tired my legs get...I'll never stop* chasing you.
No matter how much my chest hurts...It'll never stop beating for you. As I get nervous, anxious...excited about what you're about to say.
No matter how much my mind spins...I'll never stop thinking about you, your feistiness, your smile, the way your eyes look at me a certain way.
I'll never stop trying.
I'll never stop trying to make things better.
I'll never stop showing you what you deserve. Clear skies, a peaceful mind, forehead kisses and "I miss you" at the end of each letter. I'll never stop. Even when you want me to because I know you don't want me to truly stop...and go away.
I'll never stop because not many people can make me feel this way.
The best part of the story, and always the highlight of my day.

"Thank you!" as she would say. Lol
But...
I just wannted to make her smile.
I hope I can do that now, tomorrow...and always.
I'll never stop.

Ugh,
I got this.
Felt like yesterday we was just spitting in the room
Now I'm 25 years old bout to be on the move
We both knew this was coming soon
But how come I can't quite say I'm excited, while lookin back at you?
Because things have to change and I know it hurts
Growing pains coming in, ****
I know they hurt
But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

I got few things to say before I go and fly away
I remember all the traditions, all the holidays
Remember the bunk bed being filled with me and Renee
Knowing santa was coming soon, as we tried to stay awake
Playing games till the sunrise with me and my brother
Coming home real late and just talking life with my mother.
Can't forget listening to tunes with my baby sis
****, those the moments I think imma really miss
But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

Let take ya back to the glory days
Friends knocking on my door to see if I can come out and play
Remember playing every sport till the sun went down
Trying HOLLA at all the girls when ever we'd walk to town
The block to the spot we was holding it down
No phones, no sense of time just on our bikes strolling around.
****, how things have changed
The stories I have would fill up this whole page
I'm proud of all them now and see them all making moves
It's just part of life, growing up. Imma miss ya and just hope we always stay cool. But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

I told myself I wouldn't breakdown in this last verse
But it's hard to walk away from the one place you'd always go first
Leaving at all the memories, **** that's the worst
I'm playing tough guy, I won't cry! Really internally I'm about to burst.
Time has past so fast when did I become this man?
Making momma proud of her first child has always been my plan
She told me "she's happy for me but gunna miss the conversations"
But she know my phone always on and her call, I'll be waiting
I dreamed of this moment and knew God wanted me patient
Held my breath for so long I nearly fainted, this was the piece work that I've always painted
Scared as hell and can't tell ya what's bout to come next
But I know life waitin for me and I can't wait for what comes next
Growth part of the journey
As its glory we're yearning
Thank you lord...I can finally feel my life start turning.
Took me out of the dark and let me see the brand new
Never give up when you're down, you can get back up. That all im tryna say to you
But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

(Turn the music off!)  
Yeah,
This is my last thing and I know God got a plan for me and I wanted to talk quick to my family tree
Thank ya for never quitting, giving up on me. I promise to take what all ya taught with me. Renee taught me to be calm, Cori showed me how to be free, Eric showed me how a brother can mean most to me.
All three ya always mean the most to me. If wasn't for your gifts, there would be no glow to me.
But last and not least gotta talk my mama
Superwoman! The one who put up with years of drama
Teaching me how to be strong and covered me with armor
"Be a good person" never wanted bad karma
We escaped the worst, you took me outta the Devils hurst. Seeing you cry by a man always felt the worst
I grew up strong because you always lead by example. Raising a man on her own must of been a handful!
But you created a gentleman and nice young man,
Who treats women with respect and does right when he can.
Mama you're my shining star and biggest fan.
You're the center piece to the puzzle of our amazing fam.
I promise I'll give back to you, gimmie time, watch your son become a good man.
As he leaves where he's from and goes off on his own,
Remember ya, no matter where ya go...there's no place like home. (Echos out)

(Aye Dougie, Dougie you aight kid? Dougie!)

(Fade into me singing)

Imma tell the truth and the whole truth, cause there ain't no need to lie, and I ain't tryna keep it all inside...so I gotta testify for you and I...I testify..

Why lie! Maybe it's every guy, who's left her deprived, of every lost  moment she holds inside.
Baby, don't hide, don't cry, I promise I'm so different
It's her strength, it's my pain keeping us so disant
So much resistance
Yet, we're a perfect match
We left eachother once, but destiny brought us back
Cause you're stubborn, so am I
But girl, over time
You'll see what we do for eachother is unlike anything that rhymes,
the melody matches and sounds smooth...
Why can't I be her main dude?
I'm tryna get to know you
Please help me get through
I know it's easier to walk alone, but
Babe let me walk with you.

(Time to talk Dougie)

It seems fools never know what they want
and the certain think they can get what they can't have
I like her. I want her. I miss her.
Now tell me, is that truly something bad?
to be hoping to see her name as you wait on a "good morning" text
missing the way she would lay in your arms without any intentions of trying to have ***.
It was the feelings of having someone who just wanted you around.
It's the feeling we all search for, right? being wanted, thought about...picked up when you're down.
The feeling you can't control and never see coming
I just needed to say this ****t out loud, it was time for me to say something..

(Paused moment)

Crazy that was about a month ago..

Why must a good thing never last?
mine hit me like a blind sided accident...I guess I didn't look and she was going fast.
The past is now the past.
I wish I could trade in all the chances I missed, to help make something I truly enjoyed, last.

(Inner thoughts! Get her, dougie)

She's a wish after the candle, the angel you can't handle, a promise you want to keep, perfection...amazing in every angle.
Independent and doesn't need ya
One of a kind and a keeper,
Girl look in the mirror, you're a prize
If he ain't right, better leave em

(Phase 2, lil more Dougie)

****, I didn't want her to think I was just like every other man...
Wanted to be more than just a moment in her plans.
But I confess up, I messed up, let my heart just take over.
Should of slowed up the pace, kept that smile on her face... the old me is what sold her.

(What else?)

I remember every moment, every smile, every thing and hope you know I have nothing but the up most respect.
You've taught me so much more than you'd ever know, all amazing things and I wouldn't expect anything less.
Sorry for not being better than your past... more tranquility, less stress
I just want you to always find peace, passion and happiness...with your career, your life and all the good that may come next. (even love)
what else would you expect?

(**** kid)

Just remember people
If something made you truly happy, you should never have any regrets.

(Finish to her, kid)

Never hesitate from giving your all...more individuals would be happy today if they dropped their pride

"I don't miss her, I don't want her, I don't care...let her go"

(What!?)

Please, Oh Yeah,
p.s; I lied.

(Knew that wasn't true, hope you get her kid)