Every torturous moment
my being presses, pushes
against body from
within.

Peeling back skin
Tearing away at flesh
Agonizing pain numb
to the pulsing, raging.
Failing at all turns
At leaving this
wretched form.

Cursing the Gods for
damning me
to this hell.
A prison of humanity
Maddened in a cell.

Desires seep through
poisoning the world
around me, toxic.
Radiating on the sole
thought to escape.

The sea, peaceful. Quiet.
Beneath, thrashing
an undertow unseen.
Dragging victims to
the depths.

There is me, silent.
Just a man. Humanity
is my shell
I am a wolf in
sheep's clothing.
A caged bird, with
a violent tune.

None are safe in
this world from,
true nature. Be it
the storms that crash
against us. Or the
Tempest raging within.

If I had to choose,
I'd say I'm more a lover
than a fighter
Not that I do not
hate to love at moments
or that others I would
not fight the good fight.

While I don't love
a lot of people.
Days go where I
despise those around me.

I find that one perfect
soul never disappoints.
Darkest days are eroded
by the most simple light
from a being who
without an effort
became my beacon of hope.

When the hurricane
of hurt and suffering
strikes my heart and
breaks spirit.
While the world would spit
and step on every dream
I could muster. This beacon,
this tiny light.
Can repel the darkest
of nights.

This spark of hope.
As wonderful and blessed
as it is. Is also a curse.
For what once is light,
can become the most bitter
and powerful poisons
to the heart.
The strongest saint loses
sanity to his fiercest demons
with the absence of light.

In my youth
I was quick to anger
and destroy anything,
everything that stood
before me.

The sickness followed me.
Convinced inside, slithered
an evil and cynical mind.
My twisted self was buried
in the depths of me.

Only to feel a lose,
of what was my whole being.
Years longing, craving
the madness.
Tossing and turning
willing to give up all that
I was or would be,
to free this fiendish friend.

No one wants to be
good by nature.
To say I'm human,
then simultaneously
I desire the other side
of the light.

One sided, we are not whole.
It is our duty to consult
both our angels,
and demons.

I wrote a symphony once
in the dying light of my mind.
It was beautiful,
brought tears to my eyes.

The profoundness led me through corridors,
there I was lost in madness.
Enveloped in my experience
onward I traveled.

Tearing at my flesh, talons pierce me.
Darkness, my friend, always there
destroying mind and body.
Tainting my soul, its poison,
Slithers through my veins.

Halted at the edge of my journey
This evil holds my heart hostage
grasping harder and harder
light is clear, yet I am stone.

Pride destroyed, beaten
by fiendish devotions.
Door closes, pain paralyzes.
My humanity shatters like glass
Leaving reflections behind permanently.

I once crafted a mask full of
my fiendish desires.
Black soul stained in clay
taking on my rage and wrath.

Placed upon my brow, I ignite
Hardened heart, thick darkness
consuming me, I embrace
Abandoning the light once again.

I press this pen to paper
synchronizing evil intentions
with the thoughts of my former
self no longer, I accept.

Blood rushing, chest bursting
Pride and power taint
the flesh upon which they lie
Slipping slowly into the Abyss.

Suppression weights heavy in my hand.
Holding the bleeding,
beaten remnants of my essence.

Outstretched, stripped from my chest,
clinging to the soft ideals
of a peace to never come.

Words of hatred, poisons I have made
created in failed attempt to love.
Piercing me, debilitating daggers
wounded, body broken.

All energy exhausted pulling
farther from me the strings attached
to what was once life.

Heart in hand, destroyed mantle
of my physical being, beating slowly
Crimson paints the floor.

Instinct shields this torn entity
to protect the last connection
the undying belief in love.

The words slide through me.
Disconnected lacking comprehension
Old times rush forward, focused
Shattering into mirrors of memories

Disbelief overwhelms me.
Questioning my every action
Tears stream down my face.
Every moment holding more weight.

We are fragile,
The world dies around us.
We fade into a foolish fantasy
Until the crippling pain of lose
Comes crashing home.

R.I.P. PJ Cleary

There is no equal to me.
I crave to be flesh
in your weakness, chains
break, as I leak into
deep chasms of your mind.

Suppressed, cynical isolation
True fears pervert
painful truths.
Embrace my existence
as it floods into your body

Every breathe you take in
I chill from the shadows.
Where we know this
sickness, taking over,
has no end.

Offer no escape
as Death makes way
only to accept this
fiendish and violent form.

I found myself alone
for so long on this path
blindly making my way
to these dark places.

Time passed and darkness grew
enveloping me in a cloak
of rage and fear;
thrashing violently all around.

There was no light to be found.
Killing me slowly,
my burdens left me to crawl
forward into the abyss.

With all hope lost
heart heavy, eyes closed,
with tremendous force,
a light shone onto me

The way illuminated
converging where they stood
dearest company, come to aid.
I found myself, whole.

My heart is black
it has no reflection
but reveals my thoughts,
my pain and rejections.

My heart is black
and my blood runs cold.
I remember the past
back when I wasn't as bold.

My heart is black
my patience is thin.
Where are you God?
Why can't I win?

My heart is black
yet your light shines.
The cure for my darkness
sent from the heavens divine.

My heart is black
but our friendship grows.
I see the light
come on lets go.

My spoken word often
falls short of my
blood stained paper.
Where my heart spills
emotions only felt
with fingers between pages.

Words seasoned through the years,
lost love, heartache.
The many firsts and the lasts,
I experience my ink saturated tales.
Where one lives in a mysterious clarity
not received on the vocal reenactment.

Writing comes in waves, like the coast.
Overwhelmed, drenched in feeling,
fading then; waiting to crash back
against me eroding barriers.
To keep my detached self between
one tidal eruption breaking my
total defense from all intervention.