Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep
            Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave
    I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew
No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you

         I find comfort in forever wherever it may be
        I may have left my home but it will always stay with me
                 The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain
   On constant playback every second deep within my brain

        I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded
        I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated
    I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show
              Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow

     Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep
     Another pill, another high, another date to keep
      If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you
    Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through

Her eyes
Her senses
Her perspective

Her skin
Her emotions
Her feeling

Her face
Her body
Her beauty

...and her love

I gave her a necklace
And asked for a smile
I gave her a compliment
And asked for a laugh
I gave her my hand
And asked for hers back
I gave her my heart
And asked for hers back
I gave what I had
And didn't ask for much back

But when I started getting no's
When I started getting "I can't"
When I started getting nothing at all

My heart broke just a little too much

She knew how to hold me
because she was used
to holding herself together.
She bound herself,
not from head to toe, but
from her flat stomach
to her nervous armpit.
Never quite comfortable
in her own skin,
but I was comfortable
against it.

I never knew what
name to call her.
So I called her
lover.
My lover would
rest with me.
Whispers filled the air
like clouds.
Our words were
puffy and white.
Others spoke
acid tongued storm clouds.

Now that she is gone
I still don’t know what
name to call her. Him.
His name
rolls off my tongue
as hers had.
Still bittersweet
and rough, still
my unstable rock.

Rocks crumble and learn
that the rain washes them away.
Rain learns that falling on,
or for, rocks
bruises the heart
and breaks the ribs.
Yet still, the rain comes and
my heart ruptures and
my chest aches of cracks. Still
I long for him.
For her.  For us.

My heart is mine
But mostly its yours
And I won't forgive you
Because I won't know how to forget
That my heart is mine
But mostly it's yours
I can trace where too many good women have gone to die
And all you left us with
Was your agitated pacing

I want to lie down
In a sea of my own blood
I want to conquer the world
Don't want the world to conquer us