do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

In and out
Breathe
Stay strong
I'm trying
Stop cutting
Be a good girl
Smile
I can't
Hopeless
Waste of space
Disgrace
*I know

feeling like you're drowning in water, trying to breathe
heart throbbing
head spinning
body shaking
you're not in control
can't breathe
can't think
slurred words
1,000 people but no one sees you watching
but what could they do?

One step,
Bare feet.
Glance up,
Eyes meet.

Breath caught,
Dry lips.
Cheeks hot,
Stomach flips.

Throat clears,
Mouth parts.
Words catch,
Shiver starts.

Bright sun,
Sandy toes.
The ocean's words,
No one knows.

But you could hear,
Just like me,
Those salty waves,
That set us free.

We didn't speak,
Or make a sound.
You just took my hand,
Water bound.

There we stood,
Wet to our knees.
Closed our eyes,
And could finally breathe.

I know a girl
Who sits behind a computer screen
Wondering if she's worth something

I know a girl
Who stares into space trying to think of reasons
Why people should care if she fades like the seasons

I know a girl
Who is broken more than she can comprehend
Who cuts and scars more when she tries to mend


I am a girl
Who could just cry -- I could just cry
When I see that maybe my words matter
Maybe there are people who like what I write

that's right!

I was in the middle
of a poppy field
and several butterflies
asked me a million questions
and every answer ended with
I don't know
every four seasons
ended with snow
every little brush of wings
made my heart sing
and the years flow
Each season between Winter
moved beneath my ribs
so slow
Each little insect that alighted
on my pale, perfect skin
I slighted!
I slapped in outrage,
committing an unforgivable sin
Perfect little creatures
with perfectly small frames
perfectly fine bones
that never knew shame
Perfect little feet
that sat gently on my frame
I slapped them all down
one by one
thinking they should take the blame

hmm, where was I?

thats right*

I was perpetually drifting
in my own shame