5 ft. 8, 100 lbs
caramel skin, hazel eyes
size 6, back length hair
size b breast, size 5 feet
pearly white teeth
100% perfect 0% human

wait can that be right
is that really what I see
yes that's what I see
but it's not me, wouldn't you agree
No? well its true
because this is what I should see
and you should too

5 ft. 6, 190 lbs
walnut colored skin, dark brown eyes
size 9, shoulder length hair
size d breast, size 7 feet
nearly white teeth
100% human, 0% perfect

Now that's about right
that's what I should see
and you to, but you don't
and that's simply because
its not what you want to see

you want me to be
something that I'm not
but  I can't do that
you want me to be her
and her and her
you don't want me to be me

but I'm sorry because
me is all I can be
but I know why that's
not what you see

that's not what you see
because you've never looked
and you've never looked
because you know
that it won't be your reflection looking back
but it'll be me because I'm a mini you
you're my reflection
and my reflection is you

For the left handers,
whose ink gets smudged every time they think to put thought on paper-
I don't have that problem but I've seen first hand the devastation.
This is for the stuttering stutterers,
whose ideas fall on deaf ears because it takes too long to speak the thoughts to those too impatient to hear the words behind the frustrated stuttering.
For sadly brokenhearted fools-we've all been there-
whose chest aches every second from when they wake til sleep finally knocks them cold from their pain.

This all is for you. The frustrated, the hopeless, the midnight make it down the stairs to annihilate an unexpecting bowl of cereal, the drink-to-supress-the-pain-ers... for all of us who may or may not understand what the hell the point is.

This is for you.

My seat slowly shaped
Into a moving sphere
My legs slowly gave
To the lack of steer
Conscious of my eyes
And how my body lyes
Conscious of my demeanor
And how I traced my "i's"

I couldn't help but wonder
Does he try to hide his wandering eyes
Does he secretly wanna hear my name?
*Does he pick up on that these nerves are all part of a silly game?

the invisible struggle that exists between wanting to write and not wanting people to know is named after you. late nights and sharpie scrawls on crumpled pieces of paper that will never see the outside of a trashcan. the insides of my eyelids and the paper slips kissed by dull pencil tips are the only ones who will ever know. 3 a.m is the closest thing I've ever had to a friend. the silence is deafening and sleeping is an impossible paradise because I belong on the opposite end of the world. somehow I know that no number of miles will suffice in the category of distance between our bodies. its been months but I still smell the alcohol on your breath that is a little too close to my ear. your hand by my thigh. a warmth on my neck that shouldn't even exist and I can hear myself saying no but my mouth isn't moving and I dont even ******* want to sit here and make rhymes about that night because you aren't ******* worth any of it. you aren't worth a ******* rhyme or a poem or a metaphor because you ruined *everything.

In death.
A grave marked (Y)ours,
Remains, an empty plot.
The story left unfinished.
A poem left to rot.
The fraying ends of a lover's knot,
cannot and will-not meet the end
at the melting ***.
It will remain an empty plot,
wrought with metal and without a  
weak-spot.
For true loves knot,
cannot and will-not
ever come to naught.

Have I forsaken
The sanctity of dreams
Enabling the cacophony of small chattering crises
Droning desires dominate my days
Clinging to incantations and litanies of little lies
Repetitive resonance no substitute
For your whispered word
Sipping the residue of wickedness
from this burnished cauldron of the world  
Toxic stupor no replacement for you
Enabling vulgarities to reign supreme
This was never my lucid dream

I am blinded by your radiance
The mirrored pure light of your soul
Resplendence magnified
Purified in a river of pain
You cleanse me from within
Erase my melancholy days
I am uplifted from this abyss
You breathe my lucid dream
TLBoehm 061807